Life will change....

   Life changes.

With Christmas around the corner I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately.  Reflecting on the past, the present, the future, just my life in general.

I've had so many incredible moments, life changing events, happy, sad, all of it. 

Working in a  high school obviously keeps my high school memories alive, quite a few i'd rather forget. But no matter what its my story and its the reason it pains me to see so many young girls ( and guys) making poor decisions. Cause that was me.

But Praise God Life Changed.

I began dating Jeremy and next thing you know I'm a married woman. Barely 19 years old and life changed drastically. Decisions were no longer just mine to make. Every choice I made suddenly affected someone else also. Marriage is beautiful and wonderful, but its difficult too and anyone who tells you it isn't  is not telling the entire truth.


Life Changed.

And then came the hard hard season. The season that lasted for 7 long years. Years where I constantly cried and begged and pleaded with God for a baby. My life no longer had color, everything was grey. A colorless world, still a blessed life and yet even in my happiest times there was darkness. I just knew this couldnt be it, I knew there had to be more. Wasnt there more??  And just when all seemed lost. Just when I decided a world without color was my destiny. A light came.

And with every turn I made God whispered adoption. Life changed again.

And even though My arms were still empty ( and would be for 21 more months)  I could now see a dim light in all I did. Because finally I knew that color was coming. We worked so hard on all the steps. It was still a hard season, and yet it was a exciting season because we knew Life was about to change. 

And then suddenly color appeared and it was wonderful and it was beautiful and it was more.

More than I could have dreamed, more than what I hoped for, more than I felt I deserved, more beautiful than words, more love than I ever thought was humanly possible. 

Life changed, so big, so powerful, and Great is our God was all my  heart could cry.

Connor came and suddenly that long hard season of infertility made sense. Those cries that were nothing but sobs were answered.  And now more often than not my tears are happy tears. Tears of joy, tears of pride, and tears of thankfulness.

When I reflect on my life and how much change has occurried its overwhelming. And if I could go back i'd tell myself to relax and enjoy right where  I am. I'd tell myself not to worry or stress because life is gonna change. And its gonna be beautiful and wonderful and so much more than I could ever dream. Id tell myself to embrace each season because it wont last forever. Id tell myself so many things. But the only words that would probably come would be

LIFE WILL CHANGE.