Every wondered what happens after the (foster care) adoption??
Heres 6 things that happened afterwards that I never expected....
1. To be reminded the goal of foster care is reunification.
Ya don't say 😝
We know this. We believe in this. We support this, But sadly sometimes that cannot happen.
2. To be treated like we stole a child.
Everything was up to the system and a judge. We had zero say. All were really guilty of is loving her and taking care of her. Lock me up I guess cause Ill always stand on that.
3. The hoops we had to jump through afterwards.
Getting her birth certificate was quite honestly torturous. Even required a trip to Nashville for a annulment, but thats another story for another day.
And don't get me started on getting a social security number.
And you really really don't want to hear our insurance story. 😑
4. All the questions/ comments about her biological family (How could "they" give her up or not love her.)
Bio family is off limits. I will say she was loved and far from "given up."
5. The drop in support.
I get it shes "mine" now. But I didnt expect to reach out for a simple answer to a question and be told "we can't help with anything to do with her since shes no longer a foster child. " Cut off from even a answer after 20 months of them being the go to. To be told "someone will contact you" (It was literally 3 months before that "someone" reached out.)
6. The guilt.
And I think alot of it goes back to number 2. It comes from the negative perception of us. There will forever be so much I can't/wont share publicly and therefore Im immediately judged and labeled. Its fine, but I cant say it doesn't get heavy. Im an adult, but the heaviness on her haunts me. Shes endured more than any 2 year old should ever have to. And knowing the pain that will come when shes old enough to truly understand her story guts me.
The truth is were either labeled heros or villains. And I promise were neither!
The journey has only begun when you raise your right hand in that courtroom. I was so ready for peace and rest but I never expected (for us) another fight would begin immediately.
(* This is our experience. Every adoption story is different* )
Shes worth it all. 🩷
