Holding you one year later....

Well you wont get an update about week 10 because week 9 was our week. WE HAVE HCO!!!! Meaning we can go get our boy!!!! Words could never express our excitement or relief.

God has walked with us every step of this journey and we are humbled when we look back and see each mountain He moved for us.

We are leaving January 8th and will meet Connor January 11th. This date is so so special because January 11th, 2014 is the day we let ISS ( International Social Services) know that we wanted to move forward and pursue the adoption of a precious little boy we had come to know as Thaddeus.

On January 12, 2014 Sweet Thaddeus was put on "hold" for our family as they awaited our paperwork. I remember telling Jeremy months ago when we realized we would more than likely travel in January that my guess was January 12th. Because I just knew that I would hold my baby one year to the day He was put on " Hold" for us.


I guess my Mothers instinct has officially kicked in because I will be holding my sweet boy one year later.

Since we already had plans to go out of town for New Years  i am out of weekends so I have been a busy bee packing for one of the most important trips of our life!!!

I am thrilled to tell you Connor is officially packed and Mama and Daddy cannot wait to see him face to face.

Gods timing truly is perfect and I'm glad our perfect time is almost here!
Only 14 more days until I hold my baby boy.

A Christmas Surprise....

Week 9  ( of 8-10 week wait) is here!!!   We are thrilled to know soon we will hear news and have the most important travel dates of our lives.

But wait I need to tell you something that happened on week 6!!!! We received a update on December 8th. It was mainly things about Connor this time the notes came from one of his caregivers at the orphanage. It was awesome to hear more about his personality and likes and dislikes on simple everyday task, But we were shocked when along with the update were notes from AU (adoption unit in Hong Kong.) Saying that they anticipated that we would receive HCO ( Higher Court Order, travel comes 1-3 weeks after receiving HCO.)  before Christmas! The week of Christmas was week 8 ( of 8-10 week wait.) but we never expected it that soon due to the holiday and so many traveling and out of the office. Thats not all we were given expected travel dates!!!!! I cannot tell you the joy and excitement that filled me to finally see a date in front of me!! It made it so much more real and  all I could think is MY BABY IS ACTUALLY COMING HOME!!!!  

We were told to begin looking at tickets but not to buy until we received HCO confirmation and were given the go ahead. 

We chose not to tell and to surprise our parents for Christmas. Oh it was the longest two weeks ever and it was so hard to continue giving updates for weeks 7 and 8, but I knew I had to in order to keep our secret. 

So for Christmas we handed our parents a card and said this is from Connor. The front said Merry Christmas and the inside said I cant wait to meet you on January 15th, 

We secretly videoed the whole thing and it turned out so awesome and a memory we can always look back on and cherish.

Could these dates change???   Yes, sadly HCO did not come before Christmas so until its confirmed they could change.  We anticipate HCO to come this week and are very hopeful that that will keep us right on track to travel the week we were told. Either way Connor is coming home very soon and we are so thrilled to share that news with you.

Please continue to pray as we wait for more news. I will keep you updated I promise hehe.

I choose different

Connors not home this Christmas. Let that sink in.
It hurts.
I'll wake up Christmas morning and I will not go in his room and lift him out of his crib. I won't see those ten tiny fingers open gifts.
I won't see smiles or hear giggles as he is surrounded by his family who are showering him with gifts.
And yes it hurts.....a lot.
I could be sad and although I can't say there won't be any sadness,  i can say I choose different.
I choose happiness.
I will smile in knowing that next Christmas I will be standing in the ridiculously long line at the mall to see Santa. I will be watching his expression and take  a million pictures of him opening all his gifts. I will see him surrounded by his family and I will smile knowing God not only gave us this precious boy but I will let the bewilderment sink in that comes from knowing that because we followed Gods calling on our lives this precious soul has a family who will love him forever.
I will hold my head high this Christmas and will rejoice in knowing it will be our last one apart.
The emptiness and sadness wont win this year because I choose different this Christmas.

Soaking in these last moments...

  I know this is going to seem crazy and please know that after 20 months of being paper pregnant I more than likely am. I want Connor here more than anything. I cannot wait to see him steps away from me and for the moment I can wrap my arms around him for the first time. I cannot wait to spend saturday mornings watching cartoons and eating a granola bar while he plays around the living room and more than likely eats most of my breakfast. I just cant wait for the day to day things we so often take for granted, but dont think I have hit the mushy gushy train completely because I also cant wait for SLEEPOVERS at the grandparents. Yep you heard me correctly and I honestly cant believe it myself but im human and willing to admit I will need breaks. I will need a moment to catch my breath. Even though it seems I have had all the time in the world I somehow dont think anything can prepare you for the parenthood train, especially with a toddler that lets be honest in the first few weeks is practically a stranger. Obviously when I say sleepovers I mean eventually as he needs stability for the beginning months He is home. One of those things I want him to always have and grow accustom to is Mama and Daddy at night night time at his own house and in his own bed, but eventually it will be time and as bad as it hurts my heart it will be time. And I can pretend its all for him and his grandparents to spend time together and although that will be part of it, ill still know deep down its for Mama and Daddy to be able to have a conversation over a hot meal that WE actually get to eat all of. And for SLEEP that we miss so much. And as awesome as the break will be our hearts will miss him more than we ever thought possible and we will be counting down until we see his sweet face the next morning.


I said all that to say this. As much as I cannot wait and as much as I wish He were here 20 months ago. Im thankful for the time I got to spend just with Jeremy. Staying up late, watching tv in bed, going out to eat, just all of it. The day to day things that soon may still happen from time to time, but will still be very different. These last few weeks as much as we are anxious and cannot wait to add our little guy to our day to day life, we are soaking in these last moments of just the two of us that will be few and far between very soon.

                                              Cant wait to parent with the Love of my life!!

WEEK 8 IS HERE!!

    Well Well Well  finally here you are.....



WEEK 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( of our 8-10 week wait).



This week I am thankful!!!! So so thankful that soon this waiting game will be over.  That after 20 months the end is in sight and soon I will hold Connor in my arms and He will have a Mama and Daddy who love him very much!!!! Week 8,  I am overwhelmed and so anxious. I am thankful that God has given me the desire of my heart!!  

God can do ALOT in a year....

One day in December our agency sent us a childs file ( called a child study) of a beautiful little boy whose name on the waiting was Thaddeus. We smiled when we opened the file to see that sweet familiar face. We had saw him countless times on the waiting list and had prayed He would find a family. We never thought we were that family. However when I opened the file and saw his face once again I knew He was my little boy. Im not sure why it took that moment, but it did. Im thankful for a agency who believes in the power of prayer, a God who intercedes on our behalfs, and for the social worker who sent that email that day. 

One year later we are waiting to be given our travel dates so we can bring home Connor Thaddeus Malone.  What a mighty God we serve. 

If you would like to read more about how we saw our son on the waiting list and prayed he would find a family, and finally realized we WERE THAT FAMILY! click here

Week 7!!!!!-

It's week 7 (of 8-10 week wait)!!!!! We are so so so EXCITED! We have been getting things done and anxiously preparing to find out those precious travel dates. I have never been so ready for anything in my life. I am ready to look into those dark Brown eyes and run my fingers through that jet black hair, I am ready to meet my baby!

Week 6!!!

Have we really made it to week 6 already. Time is flying and on the other hand dragging by. We are thrilled that in two weeks We could find out when we will see our precious baby. We cannot wait to find out those travel dates and see how God brings everything together perfectly. Keep praying!!!

A sign that I can do both....

  Sometimes we ask God for a sign and its not the answer we expected or even wanted. Before I start let me reassure all those reading that I LOVE my job. Hectic and stressful at times but so many hugs and I love yous as well. With that being said let me begin.....

I always always always wanted to be a stay at home mom. When asked even in high school what I wanted to be or do with my life my answer was I want to be a mother.

So now my dreams are coming true and no matter how I tried to do the math it seemed that staying home with my little love was just a unrealistic dream.  Sure we could make it, but with no extra money. However I refused to believe such a thing and I prayed and prayed that God would send me a sign of what His plan was for me. Of course I just knew that it would all go in my favor.

All plans seemed to fall through and I just couldnt believe that this was it. I would have to give up my dream of spending every second with my baby boy. I would have to experience that first time of leaving him and then I would have to do that over and over again 5 days a week, 40 hours away from him each week. I continued to pray for a sign of what I was suppose to do.


A few months ago I was eligible for insurance through my job, nope not doing that because that would mean I would be stuck. As I continued to pray my heart began to change what if I was meant to do both??  Still I wasnt convinced.

Then one day I realized that taking insurance through my job and coming off of Jeremys insurance through his work would save us almost $100!!! What???  Still  I tried to push it from my mind and persuade myself that this wasnt my sign.  When surprise I received a raise and the raise covered almost exactly what I would be paying for insurance!!! Seriously??

So I receive a raise that is exactly the amount to pay for my insurance and I save $100 which will be what we need to pay for Connors Child care each week.

So it wasnt exactly how my dreams went, but I cant complain because I have a child I love and a job I love and God sent me that sign and I know im meant to do both.