This Isn't Fair.....

   One year ago our family was gathered. We were told my Papaw ( Wilcox) wouldn't live through the night. The hospice nurse informed the Chaplin, and it wasn't long before he appeared at their door. I'll remember that night for the rest of my life, and I'll always always remember what he said. How he comforted my family during one of the darkest times of our life.

   "Mrs. Wilcox, You wanted him to live through Christmas. You always expressed that wish, and he did. You've took such good care of him, but hes suffered long enough."

I don't remember alot more due to my sobs, but I know he read scripture with us. What I remember most is the comfort I felt from him just being there. He talked to Papaw. He encouraged us to do the same. He assured us he could hear us even though he could no longer answer. He prayed with us and sat with us for along time.

It completely changed my view of hospice care. It gave me a deeper respect for those with the gift for that work. 

 Today We said goodbye to a sweet friend, who left behind two young sons. Another friend buried her son last week. It seems like I'm stuck in a season of pain. A season of sadness. A season of shock. A season of confusion.

This isnt fair.
Cancer isnt fair.
Parkinsons disease isnt fair.
Heart conditions arent fair.
Car accidents arent fair.
Burying a child isnt fair.
Unexpected death isnt fair.
This pain isnt fair.

But God. God is fair. The bible says Hes faithful and Just. Although we cant understand God is fair. When it hurts more than we could ever fathom hurting He is fair. When we can barely take our next breath He is fair.

His love for us does not wavier. His plans for us are good. Our weeping may endure for a night, but Joy comes in the morning. One day He will wipe away ever tear.

So when your barely hanging on, when life has given you far more than you can handle alone, cling to the one who makes all things good.

We don't have to face this alone. We have a Savior who will carry us when we cant make it another step.

We have a God who loves his children so much that sometimes He says You've suffered long enough.

Thats mercy.
Thats love.
Thats God.

 When He steps in hearts change and mountains move. Nothing is too hard for Him. He is able. He is good even in our deepest suffering. Lord, we worship you. In our deepest sadness. When everything feels wrong. When it all seems so cruel and completely unfair. We worship you, and we believe your still good. 

Hes not going anywhere....

   My heart hurts.....

The last two weeks have been filled with such tragedies and great loss. My heart has been so so heavy. My friend lost her son unexpectedly. Another friend is slowly losing her battle. A Worship Leaders child passes in her sleep. A youtuber loses her toddler nephew.  The list could continue. Everywhere I look its heartache after heartache. Also next saturday makes one year since Papaw ( Wilcox) took his last breath. Lately life just seems like alot. Its heavy. Too heavy all of a sudden. My heart is broken. My spirit is crushed. I hurt for those who are suffering. You put yourself in their shoes and it hurts beyond what you can fathom. Im not sure I can adequately describe how ive been feeling lately. Im fearful. I dont wanna leave those I loves sides. I want everyone to be together, even though that is not even a guarantee of safety. I feel so anxious. Like I'm waiting, waiting on the next set of bad news. I think about Christmas being this week and it hurts my heart all over again. This should be the most exciting time, this year I feel exhausted from the heartache for those around me. This year is the year of loss. The year of hurting. The year of tears. Life gets so so heavy, but in the mist there He is. Hidden if we do not open our eyes to seek Him. And yet in the midst of our scariest times, when the heartache hits, and the tears flow He reminds us that everything is gonna be alright. Because we have a hope and promise in Him and the best thing is Hes not going anywhere.

So if your like me right now and Life feels so so heavy, remember that we are not alone. God is here and when Hes in the midst I assure you theres nothing to fear.

Thumper....

Introducing.....Thumper!

     On black friday we were out shopping when we stopped in Rural King. We bought a few gifts for family members, and then headed by the rabbits, and baby chicks. We always take Connor by to see the animals. I spotted this little bunny that was all different colors, "Oh gosh Jeremy look how pretty that one is."  We then looked at the chicks and then headed on about our day. I laughed as we left saying " Get me out of here before I leave with a Rabbit." We laughed and then went on to brave Walmart. After Walmart we went home because we had bought groceries in Walmart also. If you've never bought groceries on black friday I recommend it because it was literally dead on the grocery side and you'll get to shop at ease, until check out time of course. Anyway when we got home and got everything carried in I began putting groceries away when Jeremy said he was gonna go back to Rural King when I asked why he said he saw something he wanted to get his brother. However when he got home he had that multi colored Bunny I loved. I was so surprised!

 Connor must have said "Hi" to him 50 times and we decided to name him Thumper cause what else do you name a rabbit.  Unbeknownst to me Jeremy had been researching having rabbits as pets while we were in Walmart, I was oblivious as I shopped till I dropped. What we found was Rabbits are really good pets. One reason is their Quiet. They are clean ( they clean themselves like a cat does.) They can be litterbox trained, they dont need walking. Of course all things come with Cons.  They are chewers. They can live 10-20 years! When not properly socialized they can scratch and bite. They are social and need lots of attention. They arent always the best pet for kids due to them being startled easily by loud noises and commotion. They poop 300 to 500 pellets a day!  Whew talk about responsibility!

Also theres the concerns about Connors respiratory issues. You can be allergic to Rabbits, You can be allergic to their hay, and bedding. We chose to take a chance. You never know until you try right?? So far everything has been great. Connor has had no reaction. He hasnt had the sniffles, running eyes, asthma or any other issues. We are not completely crazy and are obviously keeping a watchful eye, so far everything is great!

And when I say everythings great I mean really really great. Thumper though extremely timid at first ( as expected.) Now comes up to us to be petted. Allows us to hold him without much fuss. Jumps and runs and puts on quite a show for us.

Thumper has a cage he stays in when were not home and at night. When we are home and can supervise him hes free roaming ( he is doing great using the litterbox). He loves to be near us. Rabbits can be as social as dogs and cats, Obviously each Rabbit is different, but it seems we have a pretty loving dude already.

The best part is He LOVES Connor!

 The feeling is definitely mutual, Connor now spends alot of time hopping around pretending to be a rabbit. We remind him to be gentle, and he sneaks in pets as often as possible. Thumper is getting use to Connors rambunctiousness. They are the cutest together.

I never ever thought Id own a Rabbit, but I'm glad I do:)