A sleepover with my favorite baby girl. . . .

 Last week Kinlee had her first sleep over at my house.

 

  I just love spending time with her and loved every second. We even went to the park which was a huge hit   ( I think)

 

 

 

 

Swinging

Of course She mostly liked playing with things that arent even toys

 

'

 

Because Stephs Water bottle is soooo cool

Torturing the dog was fun too

Then it came (past) bedtime can you say delirious, which in Kinlees case means laughter at EVERYTHING

Best laughing picture I could get

 

 

 And then the next morning at 7am She was up and ready for the day

I often wonder what we ever did without this sweet girl. I am thrilled to be apart of her life and am honored that I was trusted to care for her over night. I love her to the moon and back!

Steph and Kinlee 9/24/14

Not according to my plan

  Ok whose anxious and drained while waiting to hear back form this home study?? I know I am. Who thought we would be long past this point right now and would have moved onto the next step?? I know I did. Who has felt 1000 different emotions and is just  plain overwhelmed?? I maybe the only one on that one          ( besides Jeremy). When we announced God had called us to adopt. I was excited and I think for weeks I ran on adrenaline alone. I was floored I was stoked I was so many things. I was ready and I knew it would be hard, I knew I would struggle, I knew all this (Plus so many who had been there had told me). But until its you, you cannot fully comprehend what those feelings actually feel like surging through your body. You dont realize how exhausted you will feel from the waiting , praying, and agonizing over why you havent heard anything yet. You cannot fathom how your arms will ach to hold them and your heart will hurt knowing that your still so far away from that moment. I never realized I would feel all this before I actually had a picture in my hand, before those two little  eyes  were staring back at me, before their was my "boy. "

             To my knowledge on average a home study  would take 4-6 weeks to be completed.  We are on week 11 and still no news. Do not be fooled I have been angry, I have been crushed, I have felt defeated.
 Each time no matter how I felt this verse popped into my mind.
Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be you dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.
 Joshua 1:9

  God knew when we started this journey that our home study would take longer than we thought. He has a reason, obviously I have no idea what that reason is. All I know is that things are not going  according to plan and since Im only human that makes me unhappy. Mostly because its scary, its unknown and it makes us afraid. then im reminded of this verse......
 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

We have no reason to be afraid because this is all according to Gods plan, and isnt that the plan that will work out for our good?

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

God has a plan for our adoption. He always has even long before we realized He was calling us to adopt He knew that was His plan for us. He knew the hurts, He knew the pain, He knew the triumphs, He knew the joy. He knew it all. Nothing is a surprise to Him, He knows the trials we have still yet to face, but He also sees the end of this long journey and he sees this family of two become a family of three. 

I know that things are not going according to my plan, but thats ok because I want my life to go according to HIS plan. After all He sees my family of three, He knows who my son is and His plan will lead us to him. It maybe long with unexpected delays and set backs, but I know were right where were suppose to be because were where He wants us to be and its all according to His greater plan.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

 

Be yourself. . . .

Jeremy wanted to grow his hair for one year. He made it 14 months. Some hated it, Some loved it.  Some loved to hate it, but one day last week when Jeremy decided how he felt about it thats when the hair came off.

Be yourself no matter how unpopular.
Trust your opinion and dont seek approval.

Delays. . . . . .:(

I apologize for being gone for so long I have just been collecting myself. Everythings ok. We just hit a small delay due to some paperwork that had not been sent in ( no ones fault), Delays are hard no matter what the circumstance and maybe im a tad bit bias but I think they are 100 million times worse when they involve you bringing home a missing piece of your family. I wont lie I was sad, mad, and just about  every other emotion there is. I want so badly to hear our home study is approved and move on to the next step.  In these times I am reminded of Exodus 14:14

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Its then that the emotions go away and I am left with the peace only God can give. I know without a doubt that if God didnt want these delays, there would be no delays. Therefore we are waiting for a reason, there is a purpose and none of this is in vain.  

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14

Yep, We have hit a small delay, but we have nothing to worry about because this is all apart of His plan  :)

a little more private, a bit more secure

In a effort to keep things more secure  this blog is now private and can only be accessed by those given permission. However I am in no way trying to keep anyone out and if you have a friend or family member who you know enjoys reading please send me their email address and I will add them. I appreciate everyones patience and understanding as time goes on and we become deeper in the adoption process this will just keep everyone safer and I can still share ( some things) with it still being somewhat private.
Please keep praying.......

No stipulations. . . .

 You make me new, you are making me new. You make me new, you are making me new........

          When we started our adoption journey just 4 months ago we had our minds set on a few things. First off I had in my mind that I wanted a healthy baby. Healthy. Yep I was that shallow. We knew without a doubt God was telling us Hong Kong was the country our baby was in. When we realized Hong Kong was a special needs only orphanage  we were confused. After all God wanted us to have a healthy baby. Right??  So we decided we were open to moderate special needs for our baby.  Did you catch that baby part. Ok so a two or three year old is a baby right?? Deep in my heart I wanted a baby and I refused to think that my child was that age.  Then we began to pray not my will but your will Lord and oh how He has changed my heart in only 4 months. Also when you are open to His way and His plan for you, He will reveal so much more about that plan to you. I cannot explain how I knew we would have a boy. Its like God said over and over you will have a son. I felt it when I woke up, I felt it throughout my day, I felt it at night. God revealed that to me. I still do not know my sons age, but when I imagine him, When I dream about the day He is placed in my arm, I no longer see a tiny baby. My mind is drawn to the age two or three. Although I could be completely wrong about that I am now at peace with whatever age my son is. As a human I worry and think about the special needs our son has. I am fearful for many reasons, but I am ready to face them head on because I know that God will equip us for whatever our future holds. We saved our special needs paperwork ( paperwork that states what special needs you are open to, willing to discuss, and are not open to) for the very last piece of paperwork we did for our home study. We did this because we felt unready to complete it. I believe we felt that way because we were both being very convicted. We wanna talk about trusting God, but then we had this wall up and even though God was fulfilling a huge prayer we had prayed for six year we wanted to put  stipulations on what we thought we could handle. The truth is without God we can handle nothing. We need Him to help us through life. He is giving us a gift, and who are we to say we will accept the gift if.......By the time we sat down to complete the special needs paperwork our hearts had done a 180 not from anything we had done, but because we had let God have control, we had surrendered to Him. I cannot tell you what special needs my son has, but I can tell you I will open my heart and life to this precious boy regardless. I cannot tell you that life will be easy or that things wont be hard, but I can tell you that God will never leave us. I cant say that im not fearful, but I can tell you that Gods holding me everyday, every minute. God is using this adoption to change me. He is making me new and   With absolutely no stipulations I open my heart to this gift, the gift of my son. He knows him, He loves him, and He has chosen him for us.  Who are we to question His plan.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Please continue to pray for our adoption, for our son, and for us..