Feeding the kids this summer and Alayah stealing my heart :)

This summer We will be feeding the kids at Canyon Elementary School in Hungry Horse Monday- Friday. Not sure how its all working out yet or how many days We will be working but Lee is gonna work it out where no one has to work everyday including him. On the days we do work it will be 10-2. We will still be doing all our other ministrys. Right now our complete days off are monday and thursday but we could possibly be working at the school those days. At some point probably when summers over is when I will start my babysitting job. I am so EXCITED about it. Alayah stole my heart from day 1 :) (I kept her friday may25th) She was happy all day and just so sweet. And did I mention cute!! She babbled all day long. Of course Jeremy and I both were actting like idiots and babbled back. I cannot wait to keep her again Did i mention how EXCITED i am!!! :) Anyway I said all this to say Its gonna be a busy summer and We are heading into it full blast. We are ready to serve in anyway we are needed. God is taking care of us and we are looking forward to all HE has instore for us this summer.

Baby

Hey baby Mommy and Daddy got a new car. It will be alot easier to get a baby seat in with 4 doors. But thats not why we got it we got it for better gas mileage and its safier with all the break ins going on here. Let me assure you that you'll always be protected. Daddy and I would lie down our life for you I have no doubt in that. I am babysitting a beautiful baby girl now her name is Alayah and she is helping me feel the void i feel for you. Of course shes not mine and I still wish I could have you growing inside me now. But i know God has a plan and I am blessed to have Alayah in my life. Everything is going good baby. I am trying to do better and only have a carbinated drink every now and then because it will help me chances to get you. I am trying to be healthier for both of us. I love you so much. Its still so hard waiting for you And trying to be patient. I can do this though and one day when I hold you in my arms this is all just gonna make it a much more amazing moment. I can hardly wait for that day. Love, Momma

A blessing when you least expect it

As most of you know I ask God for a baby quite often in His time not mine, and even though I honestly mean it I still hurt and long for a baby. I know God sees each tear and feels each time I hurt. I know God will bless me with a child of my own in His time. But our God is so good and faithful that He gave me a unexpected blessing while I wait. I am now the proud babysitter of this beautiful baby girl.

No Shes not mine. She is Miss Alayah Baldwin, Her Mommy is Mandi Baldwin. Our story has Gods fingerprints ALL over it. See here We both are in the same town Mandi praying for a new babysitter and seeking Gods will in it all. And Me praying for Gods direction and thinking it would be a good idea to find a job to bring in a little more every month. (Friends and Family dont panic We are fine money wise Just would be nice to be able to start putting some back for trips home or just extra spending money) and of course Constantly praying for a baby.  So here We both are in the same town and what makes it worse is We have some mutual friends plus Mandi goes to Hungry Horse Chapel Which is one of the churches joined with Canyon Baptist to do the Beyond Borders for Christ ministry. Finally our mutual friend Cameron told Mandi about me and how I love kids and how Good i am with her youngest two. Cameron said God just told her to tell Mandi about me. So God brought us all together and blessed us all with each other. Even when We dont have all the answers God always does and I am so glad because as Humans we just usually make a mess of everything. God sees the bigger picture and He knew how to work it all out to where each one of us are very happy and have had our prayers answered. Even if they werent answered exactly how we expected them. God is SO GOOD!!!!

 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Newsletters :)

Hey guys Its newsletter time again. We will be sending them one day this week. If theres anyone who doesnt get one who wants one mailed or emailed to them you can either comment on this post with your mailing address or email or email them to me stephaniehmalone@gmail.com We send our Newsletters out quarterly. We do some through the mail and some through email. Our newsletters tell about our ministry and what were doing. I'm working on getting the newsletters on here so you can read them here but I have no idea how to do this and am having to wait on Jeremys help. So it could be quite a while before they get on here haha So let me know if you would like to recieve them via email or mail. Thanks

I am grateful for......

                  Oh man I really dislike computer I had a whole post typed out and was almost done (it was a pretty long one too) and next thing I know its gone :(. Didnt make me sad it made me mad but I dont know how to make a mad face on a computer. So I really don't wanna type it all again. So im not going to haha. It was about ALL I am grateful for and just basicly praising the Lord for all he has given me. So God knows my heart so I don't feel I need to type it all again.
                 Sometimes I cant believe I ever got this blog going. Oh yes I love to write but I am horrible with computers. Oh and another biggie I CANT TYPE!!! I know I know go ahead and laugh. I basicly use my two pointer fingers. I know what your thinking and the answer is I did take keyboarding in high school. I guess I dont even need to say I barely passed and the only reason I did was I went in every morning and did extra credit and when I say every morning I mean EVERY morning. I still think I barely made a D.
               Anyway I have cooled off now and I think I am ready to try and tell you again what I am grateful for....

• I am grateful for this apartment. After We had prayed and prayed and knew Montana was where God wanted us We still could not figure out how We were gonna make it. I mean we were gonna do good to buy groceries Little on think about rent and somewhere to live but God had all this figured out way before We knew anything about it.

• The first one leads me right into this one. I am grateful for Canyon Baptist Church. They are allowing us to stay in this apartment and have done so much for us. I am proud to be the worship leader :)

• I am grateful for the friends We have made here in Montana. We have so many I am not gonna try to name everyone because I know I will forget someone. You know who you are and you have made moving 2400 miles away from everyone I know and love a lot easier.

• I am grateful for Canyon Community and Hungry Horse Chapel for coming together with Canyon Baptist and forming Beyond Borders for Christ. I am grateful for the unity and love I feel on wednesday nights. I am grateful for the school building and having a place to minister to these children.

• I am grateful to still have both sets of my grandparents living, But im even more grateful that they are all 4 christians.

• I am grateful for two christian parents who raised me in church. I have been loved and taken care of my entire life.

• I am grateful to have a good christian man by my side for better or worse. I am grateful that I found my soulmate at 19 and i am so grateful that He has held my hand and been there for me through everything this past year. He has been strong for me on days when I just couldnt be strong anymore. He will never know how much he means to me.

         I am grateful for so much more but im closing with this last one
 

• I am grateful that God chose us. I love the work God has for us in Hungry Horse Montana and Everyday I feel honored that He felt confident enough in me to call me to do it.

The reason for these letters

         First off let me say i'm sure people think this is crazy. To write letter to someone i have never met but One day I will met you and print each page and put into your baby book and when your older you'll treasure them. Some people will say you dont know you may never have children and if thats Gods plan for me thats fine by me but I have faith that I will because its a desire of my heart.
 Delight yourself in the Lord,and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

   Let me also explain to you how much you were wanted. When I was little I played with babydolls ALL the time. I dreamed of the day when I would be a mom, and when i was in highschool and asked what I wanted to be I always said a mother. It was my dream it was so important to me. When your Daddy and I got married I longed for a baby. but your daddy wanted some me and him time first and I totally understood that. I understood but deep down I never stopped longing for you. I thought about what it would be like the moment I looked down at a positive pregnancy test or when a doctor laid you in my arms. I can cry just thinking about both of them. So never doubt for one second  whether you were wanted or not.

    I think about you constantly whether you'll be a boy or girl, Who you will look like, If you'll be born in summer or winter, What will you weigh, Will I ever be able to tell you in words how much I love you. How much longer will I have to wait for you? Some days I get very discouraged. See before We moved to Montana Daddy and I werent preventing you and I worried and cried alot. I went to doctors and they said my sugar was to high and I wasnt ovulating every month like I should. That scared me so bad because if I dont ovulate I cant get pregnant. So I prayed and prayed but I was deep down I was mad at God. Mad because Others were having babies. Mad because He knew how badly I wanted you. I was doing everything God wanted why wouldnt He bless me with a baby. But ya know what I wasnt doing everything He wanted. He was trying to tell me things but I wasnt listening. God wanted your Daddy and Me to step out on faith and move to Montana. So when I finally hit rock bottom and started listening and understood his plan for me I felt alot better. I wasnt mad anymore. So in july 2010 We moved to Montana and now more than ever I understand Gods plan. See there are lots of kids here who need love and someone to care bout them. No there not my own babies and I still long for my own but they need me right now. So I can pour my love into them while I wait for you.

   Dont think that daddy didnt want you. He wants you very much but Daddy is scared. Mommy wants you so much that it pushes her fear aside but deep down im scared too. I wonder how I will do raising you here in Montana without my Momma or Daddys Momma to help me. I know others here will help me but I still worry.  I know that You will be the best thing thats ever happen to me. I know that You will fill my life with so much Joy. I cannot wait till We meet each other baby. I cannot wait to hold a positive pregnancy test and I cannot even imagine holding you. 

  I hope these letter show you how wanted and loved you were long before God even started creating you. I always want you to know that your loved and I hope these letter make you feel special and bring you happiness long after I'm gone.

                                                            Momma  
    
 

Just in Case You didn't Know......

This post is gonna be just some random facts and maybe some things you didnt know.
  

• We are faith based Missionaries. Meaning God called us and told us where He wanted us and we stepped out on faith and followed him. We have not been to missionary training school (not that We wont ever but just saying We havent at this point). Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus. Acts 4:13
  

• We found a good home for our cats on April 19th. They are around a family with kids now and are very happy. We keep in touch with that Family. We have a dog named Molly. We adopted her from the animal shelter in November. She was my christmas present from Jeremy. :)

• I started this blog to help family and friends from home keep up with what were up to in between newsletters. We send out newsletter every three months. If you wish to be on our mailing list Email me your address (stephaniehmalone@gmail.com)

•  This blog was private at one time and I just felt it couldnt be a light to others if they could only see it if they knew me and asked permission.

• You can comment on any of my post. The comment button is at the bottom of each post. I would love feedback and to hear if you.

• No everyday is not a good day. We are human and we do miss home and have bad days. But We love what were doing and the work God has for us here in Montana.

• No We dont have any idea what 5 years down the road looks like or even 1 year for that matter, but We will go where and do what God tells us to. Even if that means going somewhere dangerous.
  
  Isaiah 41:10  fear not, for I am with you;  be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
  
  

•  Some people think We are so brave but the truth is We get very scared. We were terrified when We moved to Montana especially when Jeremy quit his job, but We knew that God would take care of us and He has. We are so blessed.

• Yes We both want a family someday and We know God has a plan and We are content in knowing His ways and timing are far greater than ours.

If you have anymore questions about what were doing or how were doing Feel free to leave me a comment. Questions mean you care and are interested in us and our ministry :)

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A hard Mothers Day

I woke up on Mothers day with my head held high. Determinded to have a good day. We went to church and had a great service a few tears here and there, after service a lady from our church came up and said "I know this is hard for you" and of course i started crying and she hugged me and I just let myself break down. Then she looked right at me and said " no one realizes the hurt and sacrfice you make. We just dont think about it. I know you just wanna be with her (meaning my Mom) This meant so much to me! Now dont get me wrong I am in no way putting us up on a pedisstool, but Its was great to have someone realize that it hurts. Even though were happy and have a good life here. we had a good life at home too. I am honored that God chose us dont get me wrong but that doesnt make it hurt less. Some days are fine but some days are a constant struggle to put a smile on and pretend its ok. But sunday someone showed me that I dont have to fake a smile and its ok to admit that your sad or just not having a good day. I can be myself and show whatever emotion im feeling because I have friends here who care and who understand. Mothers day was worse than christmas for me. I think we were busy on christmas but We werent busy on mothers day and that means alot of time to think and miss home. Mothers Day was also hard because I have a AWESOME Mom. And I just felt like it was so unfair to not be able to be with her on this special day set aside for moms. I guess the old sayings true "Lifes not always fair" Anyway im not trying to have a pity party just wanted to share this story and let everyone know that yes we do have bad days. We are only human and sometimes I feel this life is unfair sometimes but think of how unfair it is that so many people are gonna die and go to hell because so many wont leave comfortable. They wont say goodbye to there families So that others have a chance to spend eternity with there families Now thats UNFAIR!!!

 How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? Romans 10:14

Guitar Lessons

I just realized I havent even wrote about Guitar Lessons. On Saturdays at 12 Jeremy gives guitar lessons here at the church. They are free and open to anyone. He has about 7 here on average. They are all doing really well and catching on fast. Who knows maybe Someday one of them will be the next worship leader of Canyon Baptist Church. 

Innocent Giggles at Beyond Borders for Christ :)

Well for those who don't know I have my own class on wednesday nights now :). We have 5 classes for certain age groups and the youngest is Joys class which is PreK-1st grade. We have 2 workers at the school who have younger children tho so We were really in need of a younger class. Which is a blessing to me because anyone who knows me knows How I love babies! So After getting permission to use another room I finally started my class last wednesday. I will post pictures of my room soon. It was a room we were actually using to store our music equipment. I of course decorated (mostly because I was so excited) but also because I want it to be fun and welcoming. We have had moms before bring there kids in kicking and crying and begging them not to leave them So I thought a friendly atmosphere might help a little. My class is for 3 and under. This is our schedule We come to our room at 6 and have our lesson. Depending on if I have any little babies this can be as short as saying a memory verse together and of course We always sing "Jesus Loves me". If we don't have any little babies We have a bible story and then normally color a coloring sheet that goes with that story and has our memory verse for that week on it. I have them repeat the memory verse after me and then we say it together. We have a box of toys for playtime. At 6:30 we head to the kitchen to eat. We leave there about 7 and if its pretty We head to the playground If its too cold or rainy We go to the gym and play instead. At 7:15 the Big kids (highschoolers) come to the gym So I get my babies out of there. We normally head back to our class and they can play with there toys till 7:30 when the buses leave and there parents come get them. To some this sounds like just another job. But to me its a huge blessing!!! This Week I had two little girls ones 2 and ones 3 . I have there picture But I am gonna ask permission before I tell there names or post there picture. Anyway when we went back to class after gym time ( the wind was blowing to hard so we didnt go to the playground) The girls sit down on a blanket I have on the floor and laughed. So they start cracking me up and I said " Girls do you have the giggles" And they laughed and said YES!!! Everyone who came by our room could hear them and poked there head in to see what was so funny ( which None of us still know what they were laughing at). Those innocent giggles are so refreshing to hear and I'm so glad that I can be apart of teaching them about Jesus.

Feels Like I've Been Losin'- Tenth Avenue North Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32