So I was out with my mom one night and she said why is everyone staring at us?? I said oh they are looking at Connor. The truth is I have grown so use to it that I dont even notice much anymore and when I do notice I dont care. But I Sometimes wish I could tell those who stare a few things so this goes out to those who cant look away.
Its ok if you stare. Most people do. Maybe you knew from the moment you saw him or maybe your trying to figure out yay or nay. Either way those Down Syndrome features have a way of peeking through. Maybe your watching me and wondering how I do it all. Maybe its a bless your heart look and maybe its just curiosity. Either way its ok with me.
It is hard I wont lie. And this everythings great and im loving every second role I play is not exactly honest I do not enjoy holding my precious boy down for numerous test. I do not enjoy watching him scream and fight until he has no strength left. I do not enjoy all the specialist and doctors he sees. I do not enjoy having to be strong all the time. I do not enjoy worrying about the future every second of my life. I do not enjoy alot of thing nevertheless I put on a smile day after day and ya know why.....
Because I enjoy so many other things. I love the way that tongue hangs out all the time even if it means smearing on tons of aquaphor each night trying to heal a broken out chin. I love it seeming like I get to enjoy each stage a little longer although sometimes I get frustrated with all the delays. Im so grateful for each doctor and specialist that we have found along the way although I dislike that we need so many and all the time we spend seeing them. I love the feeling of pride that over takes my heart when he hits a new milestone even if its a simple one.
The truth is im like any other mom, and yet a special needs moms journey is so different too. But the joy, the pride, the love its all the same. The heartache, the struggle, maybe its a little different but in ways its all the same. So I dont need a sympathetic look although I appreciate the concern for me. Im just like anyone else, loving my kid with ever fiber of my being and yet struggling along on the motherhood journey.
Theres alot you cant see when you stare at us. There so much deeper to our story then can be seen.
Its not always easy, but its always worth it. Maybe you didnt figure it out from the get go but this little guy is adopted, adding another reason for the stares at us.
You probably couldnt tell but he has accomplished so much since we brought him home.
Did you know when we brought him home he only ate purreed foods and we literally taught him how to eat.
Did you know that a cold turned to pneumonia in only 3 days and we spent 2 days by his hospital bed scared out of our minds.
Did you know that he had a blockage in his nasal passage and he stopped eating and drinking for two days.
Did you know that he has scarring in his right lung and we have to watch every little cough and sniffel like a hawk.
Did you know that we have no idea what his intellectual future looks like and yes its so scary.
Did you know that hes five and I can count how many words he can say on one hand.
Did you know that sign language has literally changed our lives and made it possible for him to communicate his wants and needs.
Did you know that most days I feel so inadequate to be his mother and I have so many doubts and fears.
It may have been hard to tell since he is 100% a mamas boy now, but attachment took time and didnt arrive instantly for him toward me.
So its ok If you catch yourself looking and not able to look away, but please know that its also ok with us if you come say hello. If you ask us questions, but if just watching makes you more comfortable we can handle it cause we have weathered many storms and will handle many more and someone looking at us is ok. We dont mind really, cause were comfortable in who we are but please know theres a million other things you dont get to see, by just staring at him and me.
Its ok if you stare. Most people do. Maybe you knew from the moment you saw him or maybe your trying to figure out yay or nay. Either way those Down Syndrome features have a way of peeking through. Maybe your watching me and wondering how I do it all. Maybe its a bless your heart look and maybe its just curiosity. Either way its ok with me.
It is hard I wont lie. And this everythings great and im loving every second role I play is not exactly honest I do not enjoy holding my precious boy down for numerous test. I do not enjoy watching him scream and fight until he has no strength left. I do not enjoy all the specialist and doctors he sees. I do not enjoy having to be strong all the time. I do not enjoy worrying about the future every second of my life. I do not enjoy alot of thing nevertheless I put on a smile day after day and ya know why.....
Because I enjoy so many other things. I love the way that tongue hangs out all the time even if it means smearing on tons of aquaphor each night trying to heal a broken out chin. I love it seeming like I get to enjoy each stage a little longer although sometimes I get frustrated with all the delays. Im so grateful for each doctor and specialist that we have found along the way although I dislike that we need so many and all the time we spend seeing them. I love the feeling of pride that over takes my heart when he hits a new milestone even if its a simple one.
The truth is im like any other mom, and yet a special needs moms journey is so different too. But the joy, the pride, the love its all the same. The heartache, the struggle, maybe its a little different but in ways its all the same. So I dont need a sympathetic look although I appreciate the concern for me. Im just like anyone else, loving my kid with ever fiber of my being and yet struggling along on the motherhood journey.
Theres alot you cant see when you stare at us. There so much deeper to our story then can be seen.
Its not always easy, but its always worth it. Maybe you didnt figure it out from the get go but this little guy is adopted, adding another reason for the stares at us.
You probably couldnt tell but he has accomplished so much since we brought him home.
Did you know when we brought him home he only ate purreed foods and we literally taught him how to eat.
Did you know that a cold turned to pneumonia in only 3 days and we spent 2 days by his hospital bed scared out of our minds.
Did you know that he had a blockage in his nasal passage and he stopped eating and drinking for two days.
Did you know that he has scarring in his right lung and we have to watch every little cough and sniffel like a hawk.
Did you know that we have no idea what his intellectual future looks like and yes its so scary.
Did you know that hes five and I can count how many words he can say on one hand.
Did you know that sign language has literally changed our lives and made it possible for him to communicate his wants and needs.
Did you know that most days I feel so inadequate to be his mother and I have so many doubts and fears.
It may have been hard to tell since he is 100% a mamas boy now, but attachment took time and didnt arrive instantly for him toward me.
So its ok If you catch yourself looking and not able to look away, but please know that its also ok with us if you come say hello. If you ask us questions, but if just watching makes you more comfortable we can handle it cause we have weathered many storms and will handle many more and someone looking at us is ok. We dont mind really, cause were comfortable in who we are but please know theres a million other things you dont get to see, by just staring at him and me.
