New Years Goal/Resolution-----Embrace myself the way God made me.

             Ok so yes I realize i'm late, but here is my new years goal/resolution!!!  I want to embrace the true me. I want to love myself exactly how God made me!! Here is the one way I plan to do that this year!!!

 Notice anything about me in this picture?? Something big and beautiful?? Dont say me!! I mean my hair!! I have always wanted straight hair all growing up and even now. I have had straighteners ( like perms but make your hair straight) as well as bought straighteners and yes as a result I am frying my hair. I have always dyed my hair different colors ( nothing to wild. red, brown, blond,dark brown, black)  I just love to do different stuff with my hair. I know as far as straightening it there are sprays and things to use to keep from frying your hair, but recently I have felt that I should embrace myself just as God made me. So this year I have decided to go curly!!! Yes the picture above is my natural hair ( with a little help from a diffuser). No more frying my hair just so it will be a different color or just to make it straight. I am embracing what God has given me.
    Please do not take MY goals/ resolution wrong I am in no way putting people down for coloring their hair or straightening their curls. This is just something I wanted to do, and as a result I think my hair will thank me for it!!! Psalm 139:14 says


I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
I am in no way saying in order to embrace your true self you must stop doing your hair the way you want. That was just a conviction of mine. Embracing the true you will definitely mean something different for everyone this is just one thing it meant to me.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

God made the World!!! ( Puppet Skit)

This is a puppet skit we did at Beyond Borders for Christ. Just so you know im not crazy the first clue I was suppose to give on what God made on the first day was to turn the lights on and off. Well when I went to flip the lights on and off they wouldnt go off!!!! ( its not a switch you can flip its a button you push, but the button is apparently only on a timer and so you cannot turn it on and off by pushing the button) I just froze for a second not knowing what to do. haha  So I was off from there on out, but the kids didnt mind. Hope you enjoy!!

Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

                 Our God is so faithful and good!!!!! As most everyone knows I have always wanted to work with children and had a interest in puppets and blacklights. This summer God gave me a vision and told me I was suppose to start a puppet ministry on Wednesday nights at Beyond Borders For Christ. After lots of prayers and generous donations that dream came true in November (2012). I had so many plans and goals for this ministry, but I also had my wednesday night class (3 and under). I thought maybe I can juggle both, I  mean God obviously wanted me to start the puppet ministry so He must want me to do both. It was not long at all before I was overwhelmed. I tried to study and get things together for both the puppets and my class, but it seems like one always triumphed the other, making the other suffer. I knew I could not and would not let my babies suffer. So Puppets got put on a back burner. Please do not get me wrong I have an amazing group who does puppets for me, but without me being much help it always seemed like I was bossing them around. I couldn't even help by being one of the puppets because I had to watch my class during the puppet show. Jeremy was awesome and helped me out so much, but this was not his ministry. I was getting more stressed every wednesday.
            So I began to pray that God would send someone to take over the puppet ministry. Yep, thats what God wanted me to do after all I couldn't give up my class those were my babies!! I'm ashamed to admit it, but I actually prayed this way for several weeks. Until finally God said No, I want you to do the puppets. I gave you this vision and you are the one I want to lead it. I didn't understand. Didn't God see that I was overwhelmed. How could I possibly do both?! The answer caught me by surprise when God whispered You can't.
            I was so confused. I had no idea what God wanted me to do. I kept praying, but God was silent. Finally I realized God wanted me to focus on the puppet ministry, which meant giving up my class. My heart broke. After weeks of praying, I finally began to tell friends to be praying someone would step up to take my class. I realized I was being selfish ,and that it had kept me from seeing the truth  for all those months. This was Gods answer, this was His plan all along. So the praying continued, and the more I prayed the more God gave me peace about it. It wasn't because I thought I was the worlds best teacher, or because I thought someone else couldn't be just as affective. It was because I love them. Which means doing whats best for them. All the younger kids are crazy about the puppet ministry. So I have no doubt that me having more time to invest in it would be better for them. So now that I had the right attitude and heart, the praying continued.
              Last week I had 8 kids in my class!! ( 6 three year olds, and 2 one year olds). It was evident to everyone that my class needed more helpers. So We announced it sunday morning that if anyone would like to I could definitely use the help on wednesday nights. Diane goes to our church, and is very involved. She works in the library on wednesdays ( before Beyond Borders starts the library is open for the kids to check out books) She told me she would start staying and helping me in my class. Last night was her first night to come help in my class. As The kids were eating I began to share about the class and the puppets and how i just keep praying for a teacher. I spilled my heart out right there about how no matter what the kids cannot suffer.
              I am completely overwhelmed with joy and appreciation, I can now focus on the puppet ministry because God answered my prayers! Diane is now the teacher for the 3 and under class!! Of course I will be her helper, but I will not have to study or prepare a lesson weekly so my focus is on the puppet ministry. I cannot wait to see all the growth that will come from this. I truly feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders after carrying it around for months. I could never tell Diane  how thankful I am for her willingness to work. I know she will never regret it. The kids will melt her heart just as they did mine.

              Sometimes We pray and pray and see no results, and even though We know God hears our prayers we get discouraged. I hope this is a testimony to how good and faithful our God is.  May We never forget that God hears every prayer we pray, even if the word won't come He knows our heart. Gods timing is perfect!!!!

Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

A curve ball

    Dear beautiful baby,
               Over the last few weeks God has really thrown your Momma a curve ball. Adoption has been on my mind heavily. All I ever wanted in life was to be a mother, and I always thought I would have biological children. I'm not sure why, but God has laid Adoption on my heart and is not allowing it to go away. No matter what excuse I put up! We could never afford it, We are about to move, We wont qualify because our income is too low. I know people will say we didnt try long enough, and We should wait for Gods timing. I'm not sure why, but I just feel like We are suppose to take this route. I am praying like crazy for direction,but God just keeps whispering adoption. So I know He knows best so that must be all I need to know at this point. I want you to know Sweetie it does not matter to Momma one bit. I will love you with all my heart either way biological or adopted. It doesnt matter where you came from or what you look like I will always consider you mine.
             Another huge question is domestic or international. As much as I want a newborn ( easier to get a newborn domesticly) my heart  leans more towards international. For those precious babies in orphanages. Are you in a orphanage right now baby? Are you waiting daily wondering if this will be the day your family shows up to take you home? My mind is spinning with questions and more questions. What I want you to know is your Mommas trusting God! He can fund this adoption, He can help us qualify. His timing is perfect!!! He knows who you are and where you are, and I trust Him!!!
           I am praying and seeking his direction. I cannot wait until I hold you in my arms whether you are handed to me by my doctor, or whether I scope you up off a orphanage floor. I will love you unconditionally this is my promise I know I can keep because I love you already. I don't know how many more months or years I will have to wait, but I wait and not lose the faith because I know you will be worth every second. You will be worth every tear I have cried. I know you will make me smile and turn my pain into joy. You will be the answer to my prayer. Everytime I asked God to give your Daddy and I a family He had you in mind. He knew there would come a day when I would finally see the big picture and realize His plan for my life.
                  Your Momma is so excited about the future because you are my future!!!!

I love you so much,
Momma

Christ Clothing Closet

       Last night Jeremy and I went through our clothing Some doesn't even fit anymore, some we never wear. We had two huge black garbage bags full. My heart broke!! Here we are with clothes We never even wear, or don't even fit, but yet were still hanging in our overcrowded closet. All while there are people who are cold, and have no clothing. We both were saddened, and at the same time humbled at how God has blessed us.
        Ever heard me talk about Christ Clothing Closet?? Every 2nd and 4th tuesday of the Month We open our clothing closet here at Canyon Baptist Church for the community. We accept donations anytime they can be set on the steps of the church and we will bring them in and sort them.  We are so thankful for those who have donated. You all are the reason We recently had to reevaluate and make more room and shelving for clothing, and We are so blessed and grateful to have had that problem. As much clothes come in plenty go out. It makes it worth it all to see that expecting mom go out with a box full of clothing for her baby. We love to see the smiles on faces as they carry out boxes full of clothing for them and their families. We are blessed to have this ministry, and are thankful for everyone who helps to keep it running properly. God is blessing families through the Clothing Closet!

This is our advertisement that you may see around the community.

This is the door leading into the Clothing Closet.

This is our baby section. There are also bibles here and at the bottom there are combs, soaps, and other hygiene items.

This is our toddler section. ( We also have lots of other toddler clothes that wouldnt fit here) Also you can see our scarf section.

These totes are all filled  with clothing. ( Sorry for the mess)

Here is our section of hanging up clothing!!

The bottom row hanging up is more toddler clothing. As you can see there are more totes of clothing there underneath.

Here is our pants section. As you can see we have LOTS of pants in all different sizes.

Here is the shoe section.

Those black bags are all donates, We have not even gotten to yet.

 I just wanted to share how God is really blessing this ministry, as well as using this ministry to bless others. The clothes Closet is open from 8:30am- 11:30am every 2nd and 4th tuesday of the month. Please come by and check it out.

He administers justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the stranger, giving him food and clothing. Deuteronomy 10:18

Portion Control

              Ok so A HUGE part of mine and Jeremys weight loss is portion control. Of course eating healthier and exercise are too. Portion Control is so hard. Ill admit it is my weakness when food is good I cant help but sneak seconds. So Of course alot of rising above this is self control, and cooking less. It all depends on how much you want it and how much you will give up.
            Chicken Casserole is my favorite thing ever!!!!!!!!!! We always have mashed potatoes and green beans with it. We have not had this meal in along time so I decided it was time to treat ourselves, but how was I going to keep us from going back and getting more and more??!! The answer was simple. I made us each a portion of chicken casserole and that way there was no chance of us sneaking seconds BECAUSE THERE WASN'T ANY!!!!! HAHA

We each got our own little chicken casserole (Which I realize is too big of a portion, but Rome wasn't built in a day). These two Casseroles only took 1 piece of boneless chicken, 1 8oz can of cream of chicken soup, 3 tbsp of sour cream, and one package of ritz crackers.

Here they are finished. I must say they were so yummy I would have not been able to resist seconds maybe not even thirds!!!

We had the dinner We love, and although We did overeat. We did not eat near what We would have if I had made a regular size chicken casserole. Just wanted to share this so everyone knows We are not super heros who can do this on will power alone. It is a daily struggle this is just one trick I found that really works and is better on the budget too. :)

The Little things :)

                I am so thankful that my husband still takes time to do sweet things for me. I'm not a big flower person ,although he has given me flowers and it was awesome!! I like Jewelry but I am well aware its not a need.  I like all these things, but my favorite things are the little things. Like When my husband wants to make dinner, or when He makes me a drink ( meaning Water haha) without me asking. Sometimes He put clothes in the dryer if He is going upstairs anyway.

                       Tonight I went to call my Mom and He said He was going to make us some hush puppies ( I absolutely love hush puppies!!).   Lately We have been watching a bunch of episodes of Hells Kitchen ( on Hulu). Hells Kitchen is a food competition. Its fine dining and they always have to make the dish look fancy with the sauce on the plate all pretty. We think its hilarious Mostly because We are FAR from fancy, and because the plates always look like they barely have any food on them. So He comes into the room where I am and tells me dinner is served. So I tell Mom bye and hang up. He leads me into the kitchen. The table is candlelit and He says We are having fine dining tonight!!!

Like I said its the little things He does for me that are so special. Just wanted to share our fine dining experience with you.

Something Meaningful

         Well as I told everyone a long time ago this blog is completely personal, honest, and real. So I must tell you about my Christmas present to myself. . Ok here goes I received some Christmas money from a friend and the card said use this for fun. I can tell you that Jeremy and I stick to our word and if you tell us to spend the money you give on the ministries we do, we will. If you do not specify the money probably went to bills, groceries, and our needs like that. So anyway hmm what would I wanna do with fun money. So I begin to ponder it and think about it. Then it hit me. Something I have always wanted.  A Tattoo!!  So I knew I wanted something with meaning. So I spent time just thinking Ill admit long ago I wanted a tattoo and I wanted a heart, or butterfly and please do not take me wrong either of those tattoos are fine, but I really really wanted something that had great meaning to me and neither of those do.  So the thinking continued.
     Finally I decided I wanted it for sure on my left wrist. If it has purpose and meaning why would I get it somewhere it gets hid all the time that was my thinking. So now I knew where so the thinking continued on what, and then it hit me.I wanted the Jesus Fish!!

          What does the Jesus Fish symbol mean??

The Greek word for fish is "ixthus" or "icthus." Five Greek letters form the word “ixthus,” and those letters inside the fish form an acrostic which is a message that Christians clearly identified with. The first letter represented the word Jesus. The second letter represented the word Christ, the next two, God Son, and the final letter represented the word Savior. This adds up to “Jesus Christ is God’s Son, the Savior.”

During the early days of Christianity, Christians were often put to death for practicing their faith, so they worshiped in secret places. A fish painted on the outside door of a house let other Christians know that they would be safe and welcome inside. The Christian fish symbol is now often used to identify Christians and/or Christian businesses.

 Galatians 6:9 is a verse with great meaning to me. It has helped me not once or twice but numerous times since being in Montana. I am not ashamed to admit there have been times this verse has kept me from packing my bags and heading home. It has given me hope and assurance that I cannot give up.When times get hard I recite that verse in my head and my whole attitude changes. That verse has great purpose and meaning to me. So It was decided.

This was my idea of what I wanted.  It would be right there all the time as a constant reminder not to give up.

 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9





     Once I was 100% sure I made my appointment. When I met the guy I told him this was my idea, but I was open to change but I knew I wanted the verse for sure. His suggestion was not to put Galatians inside because it would be too tight and you couldnt read it well, or We could put it inside but He would have to make the Tattoo alot bigger.
So here is what I decided.......

     Let me assure everyone this is not something I was talked into. Its not something I did to prove anything to anyone. I got the tattoo because I wanted it. I put alot of time and thought into what to get. It was not a decision I took lightly.

           To answer the question Yes it hurt very badly, but I feel it was very worth it. I absolutely love it!!! 

                        I know I did not have to share and i'm sure some of you would have just assumed I didnt, but I felt that I have always been proud of the fact that I keep this blog personal and honest. So I felt I should share.