Do you know what its like to hear mothers say "use your words" to children much younger than your child. When your child says a handful of words that most 12 month olds can say.
Do you know what its like to watch your child fall further and further behind and know that they will never catch up to their peers.
Do you know what its like to watch your child still at the bottom of the steps working so intently to climb them and children years younger than him going up and down with ease.
Do you know what its like to know that kindergarten is only a year away and yet he cant complete one thing on the list that he should know by kindergarten.
Do you know what its like to lay awake at night and wonder what will happen when your too old to care for your child.
Do you know what its like to wonder if you will ever be able to say what did you do today and get a detailed answer from your child.
Do you know what its like to wonder if there will ever be a day you dont have diapers in your house.
Do you know what its like to struggle to teach your child a few basic signs in sign language just so you know what he needs or wants.
Do you know what its like to wonder if you will ever get ahead on medical bills.
Do you know what its like to wonder when not if he will be put under anesthesia next.
Do you know whats its like to have a handful of specialist on speed dial and to have nurses at your local childrens hospital who know your child by name.
Do you know what its like to hold your child down for countless test and know that there is a good possibility that you will do this forever.
Do you know what its like to know that there will more than likely never be a time when your child is old enough to stay home alone.
Do you know what its like to be a parent to a child with a diagnosis that classifies them as special needs.
Do you know what its like to parent a special child in a world that is cruel and mean.
Do you know what its like to smile and nod when your given advice knowing full well that it would never work for your child.
Do you know what its like to wonder when they will be picked on and mocked and not wonder if they will be.
Do you know what its like to feel the sting of knowing most of the world is so uneducated that they will assume your child is dumb.
Do you know what its like to know you will have to fight for his education, that you will have to make your voice be heard.
Do you know whats its like to hear people use the word retarded as a degrading word and feel your heart ache.
Do you know what its like to wonder if your doing things right, to wonder if you have what it takes to parent a child the world will always see as broken.
I am all for advice and words of wisdom, but most people dont have a clue what its really like to parent a child with special needs. And while Im not ashamed to openly admit alot of days I am completely overwhelmed and at times even discouraged. I want you to also know that being a special needs parent is incredible. Its twice the hugs and kisses and the possibility that your child may never go through the your so lame and uncool phase. Its the huge celebrations over milestones. Its the laughter and joy over lifes simple things that so often go unnoticed. Its the knowing that no matter how old they get you have a buddy for life. Its the most overwhelmingly wonderful feeling of knowing that what the world sees as broken is actually one of the most flawless things life has offered you and your so grateful you were chosen to raise this incredible human. Do you know that in my opinion one of the greatest things God did for me was allowing me to parent a child with Down Syndrome. Do you know that when I count my blessing being a special needs mom is top of the list. Do you know that even though most days I feel so inadequate I know without a doubt my calling in this life was to be his mom. I am living my calling and although its the hardest thing I will ever do, its the most incredible journey I have ever been on and I love my tour guide so so much!!!
