The little face I saw so many times for over a year.....

Now that we have given it a few days to let the shock wear off I would like to tell you the story of our son.

When we started the adoption process after signing a contract with our agency we were then allowed to see a waiting list of chidren.

Most everyone knows the story of how we felt God leading us to pick Hong Kong as the country we adopt from. You can read that post by clicking here.

We looked on the waitng list, we looked deeply into the eyes of each child and wondered if he or she was ours. In the meantime we were working on paperwork and doing all the things we needed to in order to move forward in the adoption process.

I rememeber him, from the very beginning. I looked at his picture and smiled, but  he couldnt be my baby because he has Down syndrome. I prayed he would find a family that would love him unconditionally. Each time I got on the waiting list I would see children who were no longer there and I felt such joy knowing that meant they had been matched with familes, but each time my heart sank because he was still there.

Time went on and God began changing our hearts. One day our agency sent us a child study (information about a waitng child) on a little boy with Down Syndrome. We said we would pray about it and our social worker told us their was another child who had been waitng a very long time and she asked if we would be interested in seeing his child study. We discussed it and said yes we would take a look at it. Oh the shock when I opened the child study and saw the familiar face smiling back at me.  In the moment something clicked and I knew he was our son.

However we continued to pray and seek Gods will before making any hasty decsions. About 6 weeks later we spoke with our social worker about moving forward with this little boy.

We were asked tons and tons of questions. We waited and waited. Then one day after 23 weeks and 1 day MA came (matching approval).

Turns out that little face I saw so many times over the past year will be the little face I see each morning and tuck in every night.

Our God is so amazing and his timing is truly perfect. Please continue to pray as we work on paperwork and wait to hear that we can bring him home. 

God is faithful....

 Our God is so faithful. When we started our adoption Journey 15 months ago we had no idea what we were in for. They tell you its a roller coaster ride, that the waiting is at times literally painful, that there will be times you cry your eyes out.  Of course I just listened and smiled politely. 15 months later I know all to well what they meant. I have felt such victory and felt so much excitement and anticipation and  also I have felt drained, and unsure. I have cried my eyes out plenty of times. I have wondered if we are just flat out crazy.

Things have certainly not went as planned.

Application to Agency -we were suppose to hear if they accepted us within a few weeks
We waited much longer turns out someone  who had to approve it was on vacation.

Home study- we were suppose to hear within 2-4 if we were approved.
Our total time was 5 months.

Then we found who we thought was our sweet baby, we answered questions for weeks and a few months later found out another family had been chosen for him. We were heart broken but we continued pressing forward and believing God had a plan.

God definitely did!!

I had looked at another babys profile (on the waiting list) countless times. I had even prayed he would find a family who would love him.

One day it clicked and I just knew that He was ours.

We requested to adopt him and immediately found out he was on "Hold" for our family. ( Meaning no one internationally could adopt him, but someone could adopt him domestically.)

Next we waited to hear if we had been matched with this baby, meaning they approved our request to adopt him and He was 100% for sure  our baby.

Normal wait time is 2-4 months and we were told that you normally hear within the 3rd or 4th month.

 In the meantime I applied for adoption grants and we were approved for each one we applied for. I sent a picture of the baby I was that certain that He was ours. I joke that my kid is a looker ;) and thats why we got all the grants.

Of course I know its because we cried out to God and He heard our cries.

We did not have the money to fund our adoption, but I stand here today being able to say its fully funded. Thats because my God is amazing!!!

The wait was so hard, I worried, I cried, I stressed, but what I did without ceasing was pray.

God heard my cries yet again.

23 weeks and one day later I found out that beautiful baby  is indeed  Connor T. Malone.

7 years praying that God would give us a child.
15 months into our adoption journey.
I have a son.

And I dont care that nothing went as planned and how horrible the wait was because regardless of how it happened, It happened and I am overwhelmed at our Gods faithfulness.

My son is a beautiful, rambunctious two year old who happens to have down syndrome and I am so incredibly blessed to be his mama.

Just dropping in.....

Hello world......

   I just got finished mowing and weedeating our yard and let me just say I am soaking wet from sweat, ugh why does it have to be SOOOO hot and humid.

   Anyway nothing new to report just thought I would drop in and say hello.

They say no news is good news but I hope to report some really good news soon!!!

Breaking my silence....

I know this post will raise alot of eyebrows and possibly cause some ruffled feathers however that is not my intent at all. See for the most part I keep my opinions to myself and the reason for that is so not to cause unneeded drama, hurt feelings, and most importantly to avoid confrontation. Because of this you wont see many of my opinions on facebook. However Im breaking my silence....


        The tragedy that happened this week in Chattanooga Tennessee is heartbreaking. When I got the news I was shaken and my heart crumbled for those who lost loved ones over something so senseless and  mind boggling. ( If you have no idea what im talking about, feel free to google.)


In the mist of this we are all broken and heavy hearted however I would like to express my opinion on a couple other things that leave my saddened. As If it werent bad enough that men who fight for our lives were brutally murdered for no other reason than someones meanness, others too are spreading hate.

How about this comment that I have heard numerous times " He looked like a terrorist."  Talk about a hate filled comment. It breaks my heart that we are so quick to judge based solely on someones looks before we even talk or get to know the person. I am in no means defending the person who committed the terrible crimes, however for us to judge someone based on there looks is saddening to me.

Placing ALL Muslims in a category as terrorist is wrong. What happen to loving one another didnt Christ command this?? Did he say everyone but those who look different, or believe different??

One thing you will not see from me is His picture. I will not share a article that shows his face. I feel very passionate about this, in my opinion we have it all wrong. A shooter takes innocent lives and we post his picture everywhere news, facebook, twitter, He is everywhere. My opinion is thats exactly what He wanted, I believe He knew this all would end with him being dead, but that his name would be kept alive through what he did and he would in a sense be famous after all no doubt that anyone living in or near Tennessee could be shown his picture and know instantly who he was and what He did.

However Heros were killed and although there pictures are now surfacing His is still the main focus and that is what deeply saddens me.

These are the ones whose pictures we should be sharing.....

 My prayers are with the families of those who lost loved ones. Those who were greatly affected by the tragic acts of July 16, 2015.

In awe of our great God, June 24th ,2015...

Most everyone knows my Mamaw had heart surgery a few weeks ago to replace one of the valves in her heart. Whats ironic is something I said in a post I wrote about her having a stroke in march. We didnt know at the time, but the stroke happend because of the valve not workin correctly in her heart. This is a sentence taken straight from the post I wrote back in March....

"Her heart still beats and that is the good I find in March 18th 2015."

You can read the whole post here


So crazy that just three short months later they put Mamaw to sleep stopped her lungs and heart and operated on her heart. To hear the doctors explain the procedure all I could think is this cannot be happening. My heart refused to believe that my sweet Mamaw would have here heart stopped for a second little on while they performed surgery. We were warned by numerous nurses and doctors about how She would look that first night in recovery. We were told that she would be on a ventilator and She would not be awake, They explaned that she would have LOTS of tubes and machines hooked up to her. When we went in that night we surrounded her bed and we were allowed to ask her nurse any questions we had. We asked ALOT of questions. We glanced nervously at each other and at her. What we didnt do and I am super proud of us all for this is we did not fall apart. It wasnt because we didnt want to, because no matter how tough we may pretend to be when we laid our eyes on her in those first moments our worlds crash down. There was that horrible feeling in the pit of our stomachs and it didnt go away. What helped is we were prepared and I will forever be grateful to Memorial Hospital in Chattanooga Tn for that. There nurses and doctors were amazing and went above and beyond for Mamaw. 
   Mamaw did amazing and we were told her heart went back into normal rhythm and stayed that way. She had no trouble. Her heart and lungs worked on their own after surgery and  the next morning she was sitting up in bed eating a popcicle when we got there. 

She can already tell a difference in how she feels compared to how tired and weak she felt before surgery. It is pretty much amazing to see her transformation. We are thrilled with how well she has done through it all , but mostly when we think back to June 24th 2015 and see her now,

We are in awe of our great God....

14 Days after heart surgery.

Because What Matters is Connor

Hey Guys!! Nothing new to report about the adoption, but I can tell you this Mamas heart is changing. So I'll just jump right into it. At first I worried and stressed over my childs diagnosis. In plain english I thought about Down Syndrome...ALOT. I stressed over his development and intellectual abilities. Not because   I needed him to be what the world sees as "perfect", but just out of fear of what life will hold. What challenges we will face. However as I said earlier this Mamas heart is changing. I already LOVE my child. I really do. I pray for him daily and when I pray I ask God to make him the person He wants him to be. No matter what that looks like, no matter what challenges lie ahead. I no longer think about Down Syndrome much not because I want to hide his diagnosis, but because my son will be so much more. I think about challenges still, challenges of being a first time parent, of raising a son. I no longer live in wonder and fear. I prayed for God to take the fear away and God did. I am in awe of how God is changing me through this adoption journey. He has shown me how perfect his strength is when my strength is gone. At times He has carried me through this adoption, because I felt I couldnt walk another step. Now here we are with our adoption funded, and waiting to hear if the baby were pursuing is indeed our Connor. His bedroom is ready, His Photo book is made and ready for me to click buy, and this Mama has never been more ready to hear he is yours.

7 Years praying for a family

15 months on this adoption journey 

and as crazy as this will sound now I get it, 

all the months of disappointment and every negative pregnancy test , It all no longer matter.

Because what matter is Connor.