I remember when I prayed for this....

Do you remember the days you prayed for the things you have now??

Life gets so busy and stressful and chaotic and heavy and the next thing we know we realize somewhere along the way we forgot.

Like somehow when we've had the blessing awhile it becomes less valuable. Of course we dont think that literally, but our actions sometimes paint a different picture.


I remember falling in love and marrying Jeremy.

I remember how I prayed for a Godly man who would love me despite my many flaws. That prayer was answered, and in April we will celebrate 11 years of marriage. I am so grateful to have found love at such a young age and to have literally grown up with my best friend while navigating the blissful and hard times of marriage.

And then after 8 difficult painful years another blessing came when we were blessed with our son. We had prayed, begged, and shed many tears for him in those 8 LONG years, and yet I have no doubt that he came at the perfect time. Part of the reason I know we had to wait was our son wasn't born yet. See I did not grow Connor in my womb, but another woman did. The way God orchestrated our journey to him was nothing, but a miracle. The way He protected and placed him exactly where he needed to be to grow and flourish until we could come for him. None of it is lost on me. I think about it often. The way Gods handprints are all over our adoption journey. I look back at the process and wonder how I ever got through it. The paperwork, the red tape, the travel to a foreign land and all I can figure is God carried me. Because His plans are good. Because He is good. Because of His power and grace.  He saw us crying out for a child and he saw a new mama who wanted to give her son more than she knew she could and He came up with the perfect plan. Because Hes wise and all knowing.

But Connor was three years old when he came, why did we have to continue to wait if he was born already?? Best I can figure is God knew we werent ready. We still had alot of growing and learning to do. See 6 months after we started the adoption journey God allowed me to started a job where I worked with adults with intellectual disabilities. And I cannot even explain to you how it changed me. How it prepared me. Up until that point we were uneducated, and we said no we were not open to a child with  Down Syndrome. But God in his infinite grace and wisdom changed our minds. He placed me at a job where suddenly I saw the worth of those the world sees as different.  It wasnt by chance. It was His plan. I was surrounded by so much love and good people. They cried with me the day I found out we'd been matched with Connor (I found out while at work.) My last day before I left for my FMLA and to travel to meet and bring Connor home they sang "Happy Trails". It was off key and not everyone knew the words, and yet it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I spent three years with the most incredible people Ill ever know, but seasons change and next thing I knew God said it was time to go.

And so I started another job. Surrounded by yet another group of wonderful people. And sure somedays are difficult and yet theres beauty at the same time. I am stretched and refined and changing for the better. I am learning and growing. And on the days when I feel so overwhelmed I remind myself that I prayed for this. After my interview I prayed that God would let me start this new journey, Sure it was scary and so difficult to start over, but I see Gods handprints and I know He placed me there for a purpose, just as He has my entire life.

So if your facing a new season. If your feeling unsure about change. If your holding onto something because its comfortable I urge you to let go. Let go and cling to Him. Cause He will not lead you astray. His plans though sometimes scary are ALWAYS for our good!!  And one day you'll look back with so much love and gratefulness in your heart and say I remember when I prayed for this.