When Jeremy and I married (6 1/2 years ago!) we both knew we wanted children. We had talked about it numerous times throughout our relationship and we knew it was something we both wanted.
It wasn't long after being married that we stopped trying to prevent a baby ( TMI I know im sorry). Still the months went by and then years and no baby. So at one of my yearly appointments I expressed to the doctor my concerns and He ran some test. Turns out I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) Polycystic ovary syndrome is a condition in which a woman has an imbalance of a female sex hormones. This may lead to menstrual cycle changes, cysts in the ovaries, trouble getting pregnant, and other health changes. In my case My sugar stays too high and my body does not always ovulate. My doctor prescribed pills to make my body ovulate and assured me he could help us to be pregnant within the year. I was happy to have a diagnosis with a solution, but it broke my heart knowing my body was not working the way it was suppose to. I spent sometime being mad at God, I spent sometime asking why, and to be honest I spent far too much time feeling sorry for myself.
I cant explain why, but I finally snapped out of it. I no longer was mad and I no longer felt sorry for myself. I was so convicted that In Gods time He would give us a child that I stopped taking the pills. I told Jeremy that when God decided it was our time we wouldn't need a pill or some doctor making promises.
Years went by and although I didnt get pregnant I was fine with that because I knew my God had a plan and He was enough. During this time we moved to Montana and we were so busy and happy serving and loving on others children and babies, but still we both longed for a family of our own.
Then we announced that God was calling us home and I think lots of friends and family thought we were moving home to start a family. We were fine with that plan if it was Gods plan but that was not on our minds when we moved home. I spent alot of dark times when we first moved home. I couldnt find my purpose, I couldnt see Gods plan. About 6 months later God revealed his plan. We dont always know why things happen the way they do, we dont always understand his plan in the beginning but He wants to see if we will trust Him and step out in faith without seeing the whole picture.
Turns out about 7 months later we realized He did call us home to start a family. Not flesh of my flesh Nor bone of my bone But still miraculously my own. I have no doubt that this is why the holy spirit convicted me about taking the pills, not that God would have allowed us to get pregnant if that wasnt His plan, but He wanted to see if we would put our trust in Him and His timing. He wanted us to hold onto His promises and not a doctors.
Sometimes its hard to see the big picture, sometimes its hard to wait on His timing, but its always worth it when we do. The waiting makes us grow stronger and it makes the gift so much more worth it when we have longed, prayed, and waited for so long. This is my story, this is How God brought beauty from ashes in my life. With one diagnosis I felt my dreams crashing down , but God saw the bigger picture and He knew that beauty was just around the corner.
It wasn't long after being married that we stopped trying to prevent a baby ( TMI I know im sorry). Still the months went by and then years and no baby. So at one of my yearly appointments I expressed to the doctor my concerns and He ran some test. Turns out I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) Polycystic ovary syndrome is a condition in which a woman has an imbalance of a female sex hormones. This may lead to menstrual cycle changes, cysts in the ovaries, trouble getting pregnant, and other health changes. In my case My sugar stays too high and my body does not always ovulate. My doctor prescribed pills to make my body ovulate and assured me he could help us to be pregnant within the year. I was happy to have a diagnosis with a solution, but it broke my heart knowing my body was not working the way it was suppose to. I spent sometime being mad at God, I spent sometime asking why, and to be honest I spent far too much time feeling sorry for myself.
I cant explain why, but I finally snapped out of it. I no longer was mad and I no longer felt sorry for myself. I was so convicted that In Gods time He would give us a child that I stopped taking the pills. I told Jeremy that when God decided it was our time we wouldn't need a pill or some doctor making promises.
Years went by and although I didnt get pregnant I was fine with that because I knew my God had a plan and He was enough. During this time we moved to Montana and we were so busy and happy serving and loving on others children and babies, but still we both longed for a family of our own.
Then we announced that God was calling us home and I think lots of friends and family thought we were moving home to start a family. We were fine with that plan if it was Gods plan but that was not on our minds when we moved home. I spent alot of dark times when we first moved home. I couldnt find my purpose, I couldnt see Gods plan. About 6 months later God revealed his plan. We dont always know why things happen the way they do, we dont always understand his plan in the beginning but He wants to see if we will trust Him and step out in faith without seeing the whole picture.
Turns out about 7 months later we realized He did call us home to start a family. Not flesh of my flesh Nor bone of my bone But still miraculously my own. I have no doubt that this is why the holy spirit convicted me about taking the pills, not that God would have allowed us to get pregnant if that wasnt His plan, but He wanted to see if we would put our trust in Him and His timing. He wanted us to hold onto His promises and not a doctors.
Sometimes its hard to see the big picture, sometimes its hard to wait on His timing, but its always worth it when we do. The waiting makes us grow stronger and it makes the gift so much more worth it when we have longed, prayed, and waited for so long. This is my story, this is How God brought beauty from ashes in my life. With one diagnosis I felt my dreams crashing down , but God saw the bigger picture and He knew that beauty was just around the corner.
2 comments:
I love you so much. Hanging in there with you on your journey. I Was told I would never have a baby. Three years later we had your dad. Two years later Randy came along. Seven years later, here came Sonya. So baby C might still have some brothers and sisters. Whatever is Gods plan.
I love you too and you are so right whether biological or adopted I pray that Baby C will know the joy of having siblings. Besides I have a van to fill up ;)
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