When I use to babysit full time I saw it, I saw moms dropping off babies they didnt wanna leave. I saw them pry little hands off their legs and quickly slip out the door and oh the tears that fell from tiny eyes and those Mamas tears when she was in the car alone. It all made me so sad. I saw them linger until the very last moment before they literally had to leave to avoid being late for work. I saw them give kisses and hugs and say their see ya laters. I got it, except I didnt get it at all.....
Connor has never even been in my arms and yet the thought of leaving him for 8 hours a day 5 days a week is unbearable. I literally have anxiety when I think about it. When we planned our day out for our adoption we had a sitter lined up and all was well, however now that its getting closer to time to actually bring my little guy home I feel distraught. And I get it. I feel the despair of prying those little arms off your leg and feeling so so guilty that you have to work. I know I too will linger until the last possible moment avoiding those see ya laters.
I feel guilty that I have to work.
In a perfect world all Mamas would be able to stay home with their babies ( if they wanted to). There would be no prying tiny arms from Mamas legs, or tear filled see ya laters. Unfortunately thats not the world we live in and for those Mamas who have to work, your not alone. And as hard as it is to leave your tiny love , it makes those squeals and smiles because your back so much more sweet after a long day. It makes those saturday morning cuddles so much more meaningful. Your child wont think your terrible when they look back and see you had to work, but will remember how you provided and did the best you could. They will be thankful for a Mama who was willing to work.
I worry and agonize and try to find a way that I can stay home with Connor. Maybe some how someway it will work out, but if it dont I take comfort in knowing im not alone. Ill know that I did my best and worked hard to provide for my child. I dont have to feel guilty that I have to work.
Connor has never even been in my arms and yet the thought of leaving him for 8 hours a day 5 days a week is unbearable. I literally have anxiety when I think about it. When we planned our day out for our adoption we had a sitter lined up and all was well, however now that its getting closer to time to actually bring my little guy home I feel distraught. And I get it. I feel the despair of prying those little arms off your leg and feeling so so guilty that you have to work. I know I too will linger until the last possible moment avoiding those see ya laters.
I feel guilty that I have to work.
In a perfect world all Mamas would be able to stay home with their babies ( if they wanted to). There would be no prying tiny arms from Mamas legs, or tear filled see ya laters. Unfortunately thats not the world we live in and for those Mamas who have to work, your not alone. And as hard as it is to leave your tiny love , it makes those squeals and smiles because your back so much more sweet after a long day. It makes those saturday morning cuddles so much more meaningful. Your child wont think your terrible when they look back and see you had to work, but will remember how you provided and did the best you could. They will be thankful for a Mama who was willing to work.
I worry and agonize and try to find a way that I can stay home with Connor. Maybe some how someway it will work out, but if it dont I take comfort in knowing im not alone. Ill know that I did my best and worked hard to provide for my child. I dont have to feel guilty that I have to work.
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