This summer I sat in the pediatricians office for Connors second well visit. The first time he had a well visit I was completely unprepared since I had never done this before. I filled out the forms, but left the other questions or comments for the doctor section blank. This year I came prepared. I had a list of questions and concerns, I filled out the paperwork literally pouring my heart out on the paper. Since Connor sees a ENT and Ophthalmologist we skip the vision test and hearing test at his well visits. The doctor checked Connor and we chatted and laughed as he took her stethoscope and carefully placed it on her chest to give her heart a listen. He knows the routine of all the usual doctors instruments which is adorable and yet incredibly sad all at once. Finally we got to my list, each question and concern was discussed, and then she began asking me a few questions about Connor as well. But one subject stuck with me. I'm not even sure why. Maybe because I had never thought much about it, sometimes we grow focused on the things that we feel matter most, the big things, that we fail to notice the small everyday things. My chatter stopped immediately when she said " Can he peddle?? Like ride on toys can he peddle??" No....Well he probably could but he hasn't.....I think that he could. Ya know if he wanted to..I think. She smiled at Connor who was fluttering around the room trying to put on his charm and get attention. We chatted a few more minutes about other things and then the flirty boys mood changed as he received his kindergarten shots. The appointment was over and we headed home. It went well, I was reassured and relieved, but peddling never really left my mind. Why hadn't I realized?? Why hadn't I been working with him??
School started and life got busy. Time went by and when it came time for Connors birthday we decided to get him his first bicycle. He was excited and happy to sit on it, but no amount of encouragement or persuading got him to peddle. We tried alot. We placed his feet on the peddles. We let him watch me ( yes I rode a 12inch bike, perks of being short haha). And yet nothing. Then one day he did start pushing on the peddles, but backwards which as you know on a childs bike is the brakes so he didnt get anywhere. Still we encouraged him, no luck but we didnt stop or give up. We gave him his space though, cause Connor can be stubborn ( if you know us personally then your sure to have picked up on this already.) The bike set in our extra room for weeks, it was always available, but we didnt push. Somedays he would get on it and sit, but would always sign want, because he wanted me to push him. I"ll admit I got to a point where I regretted getting him a bike for his birthday. I mean we got him a present that he couldn't use. I felt sad about that. I felt bad for pushing him.
This is so typical of life as a special needs parent. You want to do everything right, but your still learning yourself. You want to have the perfect balance of not pushing them too hard, and yet striving to teach them and help them reach their full potential. Guys its hard! We are all imperfect people which means we not always gonna get it right all the time and us parents are often times way too hard on ourselves. One of the things that helps me is to remember there is pain in the waiting, there is heartache in the delays, there is setbacks and failures, but there is also so much beauty on the journey. If Connors taught me anything its that there's beauty in the waiting.
Sometimes the long journey, makes the destination so much more beautiful. Connor peddled his bike for the first time today. He clapped and cheered for himself right along with us!! It was a huge party at our house today as it is with every milestone whether something big or small. And I was reminded that this boy has beat the odds again and again. Obstacle after obstacle, setback after setback he is resilient. So yes peddling should have came along time ago, and he has other countless delays but today we hit a goal, today we saw the beauty in the journey and today we clung to that.
He also rode his bike right into the Christmas tree, breaking one ornament and knocking countless others to the floor so now we work on steering. (haha)
And today as I watched my precious boy ride directly into our tree and I heard his daddys along with my own laughter echo through the house I was reminded of the beauty in the waiting. The beautiful destination , our family, the countless obstacles, setbacks, and failures and yet in the end here we are watching this beautiful boy ride his bike directly into our Christmas tree. And as ornaments went flying and a big gaping hole appeared where those perfectly fluffed branches had been I smiled at our beautiful destination.
School started and life got busy. Time went by and when it came time for Connors birthday we decided to get him his first bicycle. He was excited and happy to sit on it, but no amount of encouragement or persuading got him to peddle. We tried alot. We placed his feet on the peddles. We let him watch me ( yes I rode a 12inch bike, perks of being short haha). And yet nothing. Then one day he did start pushing on the peddles, but backwards which as you know on a childs bike is the brakes so he didnt get anywhere. Still we encouraged him, no luck but we didnt stop or give up. We gave him his space though, cause Connor can be stubborn ( if you know us personally then your sure to have picked up on this already.) The bike set in our extra room for weeks, it was always available, but we didnt push. Somedays he would get on it and sit, but would always sign want, because he wanted me to push him. I"ll admit I got to a point where I regretted getting him a bike for his birthday. I mean we got him a present that he couldn't use. I felt sad about that. I felt bad for pushing him.
This is so typical of life as a special needs parent. You want to do everything right, but your still learning yourself. You want to have the perfect balance of not pushing them too hard, and yet striving to teach them and help them reach their full potential. Guys its hard! We are all imperfect people which means we not always gonna get it right all the time and us parents are often times way too hard on ourselves. One of the things that helps me is to remember there is pain in the waiting, there is heartache in the delays, there is setbacks and failures, but there is also so much beauty on the journey. If Connors taught me anything its that there's beauty in the waiting.
Sometimes the long journey, makes the destination so much more beautiful. Connor peddled his bike for the first time today. He clapped and cheered for himself right along with us!! It was a huge party at our house today as it is with every milestone whether something big or small. And I was reminded that this boy has beat the odds again and again. Obstacle after obstacle, setback after setback he is resilient. So yes peddling should have came along time ago, and he has other countless delays but today we hit a goal, today we saw the beauty in the journey and today we clung to that.
He also rode his bike right into the Christmas tree, breaking one ornament and knocking countless others to the floor so now we work on steering. (haha)
And today as I watched my precious boy ride directly into our tree and I heard his daddys along with my own laughter echo through the house I was reminded of the beauty in the waiting. The beautiful destination , our family, the countless obstacles, setbacks, and failures and yet in the end here we are watching this beautiful boy ride his bike directly into our Christmas tree. And as ornaments went flying and a big gaping hole appeared where those perfectly fluffed branches had been I smiled at our beautiful destination.
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