She don't know his name....

Today  I've had Connors birth mother on my mind. Y'all know I post about her on his birthday and mother's day, but sometimes I just randomly think of her. I wouldn't know her if I saw her, I've never seen her face and yet I'm eternally grateful that she loved him enough to choose life for him. I cannot help, but wonder if this is what she meant  when she wanted a better life for him. Connor brought home a paper today where he is practicing writing his name, and it hit me from out of no where....she don't know his name. And it left me feeling sad. She doesn't know that his hair is currently falling out because he was recently diagnosed with Alopecia. She doesn't know about the countless surgeries and hospital stays. She doesn't know that I kept his hair longer on top to hide his cowlick, but shorter on the sides cause it's easier to wash. Cause if there's one thing he hates it's having his hairwashed. She doesn't know that he is my shadow, but he loved daddy first. She doesn't know that he cries without his nightlight, and is just now realizing Santa's not so bad. She doesn't know that he is loved by EVERYONE that has ever been near him, and that he loves to be extra goofy in hopes to make someone laugh. She doesn't know that he can say a handful of words, and knows many signs. And even though he's primarily nonverbal anyone whose spent any time with him will tell you he has a way of letting you know what he means and getting his point across.  I wish she knew how much we love him. I wish she knew that he changed everything about me. I wish she knew I'm better because of him. I wish she knew he got that better life she prayed for.  I wish she knew his name....