You make me new, you are making me new. You make me new, you are making me new........
When we started our adoption journey just 4 months ago we had our minds set on a few things. First off I had in my mind that I wanted a healthy baby. Healthy. Yep I was that shallow. We knew without a doubt God was telling us Hong Kong was the country our baby was in. When we realized Hong Kong was a special needs only orphanage we were confused. After all God wanted us to have a healthy baby. Right?? So we decided we were open to moderate special needs for our baby. Did you catch that baby part. Ok so a two or three year old is a baby right?? Deep in my heart I wanted a baby and I refused to think that my child was that age. Then we began to pray not my will but your will Lord and oh how He has changed my heart in only 4 months. Also when you are open to His way and His plan for you, He will reveal so much more about that plan to you. I cannot explain how I knew we would have a boy. Its like God said over and over you will have a son. I felt it when I woke up, I felt it throughout my day, I felt it at night. God revealed that to me. I still do not know my sons age, but when I imagine him, When I dream about the day He is placed in my arm, I no longer see a tiny baby. My mind is drawn to the age two or three. Although I could be completely wrong about that I am now at peace with whatever age my son is. As a human I worry and think about the special needs our son has. I am fearful for many reasons, but I am ready to face them head on because I know that God will equip us for whatever our future holds. We saved our special needs paperwork ( paperwork that states what special needs you are open to, willing to discuss, and are not open to) for the very last piece of paperwork we did for our home study. We did this because we felt unready to complete it. I believe we felt that way because we were both being very convicted. We wanna talk about trusting God, but then we had this wall up and even though God was fulfilling a huge prayer we had prayed for six year we wanted to put stipulations on what we thought we could handle. The truth is without God we can handle nothing. We need Him to help us through life. He is giving us a gift, and who are we to say we will accept the gift if.......By the time we sat down to complete the special needs paperwork our hearts had done a 180 not from anything we had done, but because we had let God have control, we had surrendered to Him. I cannot tell you what special needs my son has, but I can tell you I will open my heart and life to this precious boy regardless. I cannot tell you that life will be easy or that things wont be hard, but I can tell you that God will never leave us. I cant say that im not fearful, but I can tell you that Gods holding me everyday, every minute. God is using this adoption to change me. He is making me new and With absolutely no stipulations I open my heart to this gift, the gift of my son. He knows him, He loves him, and He has chosen him for us. Who are we to question His plan.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Please continue to pray for our adoption, for our son, and for us..
When we started our adoption journey just 4 months ago we had our minds set on a few things. First off I had in my mind that I wanted a healthy baby. Healthy. Yep I was that shallow. We knew without a doubt God was telling us Hong Kong was the country our baby was in. When we realized Hong Kong was a special needs only orphanage we were confused. After all God wanted us to have a healthy baby. Right?? So we decided we were open to moderate special needs for our baby. Did you catch that baby part. Ok so a two or three year old is a baby right?? Deep in my heart I wanted a baby and I refused to think that my child was that age. Then we began to pray not my will but your will Lord and oh how He has changed my heart in only 4 months. Also when you are open to His way and His plan for you, He will reveal so much more about that plan to you. I cannot explain how I knew we would have a boy. Its like God said over and over you will have a son. I felt it when I woke up, I felt it throughout my day, I felt it at night. God revealed that to me. I still do not know my sons age, but when I imagine him, When I dream about the day He is placed in my arm, I no longer see a tiny baby. My mind is drawn to the age two or three. Although I could be completely wrong about that I am now at peace with whatever age my son is. As a human I worry and think about the special needs our son has. I am fearful for many reasons, but I am ready to face them head on because I know that God will equip us for whatever our future holds. We saved our special needs paperwork ( paperwork that states what special needs you are open to, willing to discuss, and are not open to) for the very last piece of paperwork we did for our home study. We did this because we felt unready to complete it. I believe we felt that way because we were both being very convicted. We wanna talk about trusting God, but then we had this wall up and even though God was fulfilling a huge prayer we had prayed for six year we wanted to put stipulations on what we thought we could handle. The truth is without God we can handle nothing. We need Him to help us through life. He is giving us a gift, and who are we to say we will accept the gift if.......By the time we sat down to complete the special needs paperwork our hearts had done a 180 not from anything we had done, but because we had let God have control, we had surrendered to Him. I cannot tell you what special needs my son has, but I can tell you I will open my heart and life to this precious boy regardless. I cannot tell you that life will be easy or that things wont be hard, but I can tell you that God will never leave us. I cant say that im not fearful, but I can tell you that Gods holding me everyday, every minute. God is using this adoption to change me. He is making me new and With absolutely no stipulations I open my heart to this gift, the gift of my son. He knows him, He loves him, and He has chosen him for us. Who are we to question His plan.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Please continue to pray for our adoption, for our son, and for us..
1 comment:
Hi Stephanie,
No stipulations is the way I think God wants us to live. I see you guys are walking this out and it encourages me to walk more closely with the Lord. Thank you for that..I will be praying for you guys. God bless
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