I needed to know him.....

 I read an article by Sandra Bullock this week about being a adoptive mom and about her son. Who knew words from a famous mother would touch my heart and ring so true in my life.

"I needed to know HIM. I needed to be HIS mother." 

Oh how true those words are for me. When I started this adoption journey I knew God knew our child.He had a specific child for us. It wasn't some luck of the draw thing. It was about this one certain child. Of course the hard part was finding that child. The more we grew in our faith and the more we put our trust in God , the more He revealed to us. Until boom one day were looking at a picture that in our eyes was the most beautiful baby in the world. Everything else faded away, Other peoples opinions. how hard the future may be, finances, none of it mattered anymore. Because He was ours and we needed to know him. We needed to be his parents. It wasn't about a child anymore it was about him. 

So many have told us how lucky our son will be, but I  feel certain its the other way around.

Im not sure Connor will ever know what we went through to find him, the struggle of paperwork to bring him home  or the  finances involved, the emotional roller coaster  we rode,  or the constant questions we were asked. He may never comprehend any of it, and thats ok. If he understands nothing else I want him to know that he is loved. I want him to know it didnt begin with us. I want him to know he was loved by his biological mother with a love so strong that she made the hardest decision of her life and showed the most selfless love when she realized someone else could give him a brighter future. I want him to know He had an amazing foster family who cared for him long before we knew him. I want him to know his story is not a tragedy, but a love story from start to finish. I want him to know that I cried out for 7 years  for God to send us a family and unknown to me I was crying out for him all that time. I want him to know that we needed to know him.  I want him to know He is greater than I could have ever imagined, He is more than I ever thought I deserved, and that His Daddy and I are certainly the lucky ones.

You can read Sandra's words below

"I’m tired of hearing from everyone that he is not my child, that he is not my blood. That I am a so called "Adoptive Mother”. 
I am a Mother. I need no other label or prefix.
I know I’ve adopted him and I am proud of it. He may not have my eyes, he may not have my smile, he may not have my skin tone, but he has all my heart.A mother is a person who raises, loves and provides for the child. It doesn’t matter if you share the same blood or not.
I hold my son in my arms and thank God for bringing him to me. If the standard route for creating a family had worked for me, I wouldn't have met this child. I needed to know him. I needed to be his mother. I know now why all those events happened. Or didn't happen. So I could meet this little boy. He is, in every way, my son.
I enjoy Motherhood now. If all of a sudden someone said, ‘You have five more kids,’ I’d be totally OK with it.
So guys Share this if you love your Children who are very lucky to have you and to have a beautiful home. Lets hope that Everybody reads this especially those who consider adoption as a taboo and are against it. It’s perfectly fine to adopt. It is a gift of Life. The desire of your heart can give a child a home."                        -Sandra Bullock