I have decided to address a question I get alot. Do you want more kids?? Are you gonna try to have a baby?? Are you gonna adopt again?? Connor needs a sister. Connor needs a brother.
You wouldnt believe how many times I get these things said to me, so here is my answer.
Do I want more children?? Absolutely!! I want Connor to know the joys of siblings. Do I want another child this minute? No. Honestly I dont feel ready. Connor spent the first few months of his life with a foster family and he was not the only child there. He then moved to the orphanage with many other children, So I really want him to have some one on one time. Do I want to try to conceive biologically?? I'm not against it and yet the thought of feeling that heartbreak again month after month leaves me feeling nothing but dread, honestly I would rather adopt again where I know that there is a baby at the end of the tunnel so to speak . Connor does not need a brother or sister, Do I wanna give him siblings yes absolutely, but I wouldnt say he needs them.
To be 100% honest I would have started the adoption process again immediately after finalizing Connors adoption. After all it took 21 months from start to when we traveled to get Connor so in my mind yeah in two years we will be ready. However right now at this moment he needs my attention, he needs my love, he needs the focus. Does that mean if I were to conceive I wouldnt be elated, of course not. I would be completely overjoyed, but that dont mean im ready to try to add to our family biologically.
Lets look at the bigger picture here. God called us to adopt Connor. He literally provided every penny. What do I mean by that,?? I mean we had 0 money saved for the adoption and yet today we are in zero debt from the adoption. Not because were awesome, but because Our God is!!! Every step He led the way and things worked out perfectly. Because it was His will, It was His plan.
So I dont get to decide. Oh sure we could start the adoption process again tomorrow, but if its not His will for us then it will only lead to struggle and heartache. We know this, we realize this. So I can say confidently that I dont get to decide. I will not do it, unless its God will because I know it will all fall apart without Him.
Do I pray for a bigger family?? Yes. I asked God to grow our family daily. However if He doesn't im content. I have a wonderful husband and a incredible son and if thats all for me then I am overjoyed with my life.
So right now I am loving on Connor and giving him the focus and I am waiting on the Lord. I am seeking Him and following his lead. He led me to my first child and If another is in my future He will lead me to them as well.
So the ultimate answer is I am waiting to see myself because I dont get to decide.
You wouldnt believe how many times I get these things said to me, so here is my answer.
Do I want more children?? Absolutely!! I want Connor to know the joys of siblings. Do I want another child this minute? No. Honestly I dont feel ready. Connor spent the first few months of his life with a foster family and he was not the only child there. He then moved to the orphanage with many other children, So I really want him to have some one on one time. Do I want to try to conceive biologically?? I'm not against it and yet the thought of feeling that heartbreak again month after month leaves me feeling nothing but dread, honestly I would rather adopt again where I know that there is a baby at the end of the tunnel so to speak . Connor does not need a brother or sister, Do I wanna give him siblings yes absolutely, but I wouldnt say he needs them.
To be 100% honest I would have started the adoption process again immediately after finalizing Connors adoption. After all it took 21 months from start to when we traveled to get Connor so in my mind yeah in two years we will be ready. However right now at this moment he needs my attention, he needs my love, he needs the focus. Does that mean if I were to conceive I wouldnt be elated, of course not. I would be completely overjoyed, but that dont mean im ready to try to add to our family biologically.
Lets look at the bigger picture here. God called us to adopt Connor. He literally provided every penny. What do I mean by that,?? I mean we had 0 money saved for the adoption and yet today we are in zero debt from the adoption. Not because were awesome, but because Our God is!!! Every step He led the way and things worked out perfectly. Because it was His will, It was His plan.
So I dont get to decide. Oh sure we could start the adoption process again tomorrow, but if its not His will for us then it will only lead to struggle and heartache. We know this, we realize this. So I can say confidently that I dont get to decide. I will not do it, unless its God will because I know it will all fall apart without Him.
Do I pray for a bigger family?? Yes. I asked God to grow our family daily. However if He doesn't im content. I have a wonderful husband and a incredible son and if thats all for me then I am overjoyed with my life.
So right now I am loving on Connor and giving him the focus and I am waiting on the Lord. I am seeking Him and following his lead. He led me to my first child and If another is in my future He will lead me to them as well.
So the ultimate answer is I am waiting to see myself because I dont get to decide.
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