And suddenly I knew it was time....

   Hey guys I wanted to tell you about my latest adventure! Finally getting fit!! I've wanted to and needed to for awhile, but lacked the motivation. Honestly its hard to get the motivation until you see results, but how do you get results without starting. Well you don't. I had to at least get motivated enough to start, which was so stinking hard, I cant even lie! However once I did the results are what drive me to keep going!!!

Basically I had to make myself start, and believe results would come. I started by working out once a day. Once I began feeling better, boom I had motivation. I then started meal prepping and eating healthy, and I became so addicted to the gym that I started doing twice a days working out in the morning and evening. Thats all well and good except I also decided to not eat my snacks. See my meals were a strict number of calories. ( Healthy) snacks in between meals helped me take in more calories that I need due to depleting calories due to working out. Basically I felt GREAT at first, and I was seeing HUGE results! I lost almost 3 pounds in a week, but I had also stopped sleeping. I just never felt tired. I was getting maybe 5 hours of sleep per night while working out twice a day. It was great until about day 6.  My head pounded and I felt as if I couldnt get up. I'd get out of bed workout then hit the couch and feel so exhausted to the point I knew I couldnt go another step. The headache wouldnt go away. I was miserable.

So I started up a new plan. I eat every two hours, lots of protein! However I do not exceed 1400 calories a day. I workout once a day. Its working! Im sleeping so good at night, and on day 4 my headache finally went away. I only weight once a week so I havent weighed this week, and even though Im not optimistic about seeing a 3 pound drop like I did last week I know that Im doing it the healthy way.

The Workouts.

Im super blessed to have a full garage gym at my house. I have no idea what half the machines are called so I wont even attempt it, but machines and weights line the walls.

 I am weight training. Its fun, and hard all at the same time. I work out a body part each day. I joke that Jeremy is my trainer because hes helping me so much, until I learn more and can do it more on my own. Theres so much to know about doing things the right and healthy way in order to see results and stay healthy. I can already tell a huge difference in what I can do in the gym. Its so nice to see results that way as well as the scale. The scale is awesome, but with weight training its not the best tool. Your likely to gain muscle therefore you will either weight more or even if you dont see your number go up, you may have actually lost more weight that week, but gained muscle if that made sense. Ill probably look back and laugh at this someday because im still learning and probably making myself look crazy. haha The best way I found to gage my results is how my clothes fit. They are already fitting alot differently with 7Ibs lost so far!!!  I will be focusing more on that than the scale number to help myself from freaking out if I do gain muscle.

My Plan

Meal Prepping

1150-1500 Calories

High in protein

Weight Training 30-45 minutes 5 days a week.

Meal Prepping.

We prep meals on Sunday for the entire week. We make lunch and dinner for 5 days.

 Everything is high in protein and low calorie. Our snacks included. I eat every two hours. Meals and snacks calories are calculated out, but I still find it helpfully to keep a journal to make sure im staying on track. Weekends are our cheat days, meaning we try to be good ( for the most part) But we dont track our calories or have set schedules.

What If I dont want to eat the meal thats prepped??  We just do it. There are so many times that I dont want to, but I just make myself same with the snacks. I dont always want that specific snack, heck Id much rather have a candy bar or milkshake, but I press through and eat it anyway.

As far as the gym goes I have become addicted and want to workout daily. I would love to do two a days and may get back to that eventually, but I really messed up and overworked myself last week (Which is why I couldnt sleep, and  had the headache.) I am trying my best to do things the right way and take care of my body ( after all you only get one.)

The confidence.

Start seeing the number on the scale drop, your clothes get lose and see if you dont find a confidence burst out of you like you think your all that and a bag of chips. ( Oh chips sound so good right now!) It sounds ridiculous until its you. Its true that I am changing, but  whats really changed is how I feel about myself. That makes us all look and feel better! My confidence is at an all time high, sure I have a long ways to go, but im on the right road now and am feeling better than ever.

Finding Motivation.

Like I said at the beginning you have to find the motivation to start, once the results start showing your motivation will grow and grow with each positive change. My beginning motivation was these two.

 I wanna be around with these guys as long as I can. Theres no mountain I wouldnt try to move for them. No limit my love wouldnt go. So a few positive changes in order to make sure mama is healthy well thats no trouble at all.

The Results.

7Ibs down so far. My clothes fit very different, and the most important part I feel fantastic!

Positive feedback.

Ive gotten so much positive feedback from my result pictures I just want to thank everyone for their kind words of encouragement. Its been so hard, and I appreciate yall cheering me on. I have the greatest support system and that means so so much!

If  you wanna know anything else feel free to ask. Im no expert, im just beginning myself, but im here to talk if you need a listening ear. We can even talk about how hard it is and how all we want is a bag of chips and a candy bar. Im here anytime! 

Don't you want more kids????

      Jeremy and I went for a bike ride on Saturday. For me riding is so therapeutic. I forget everything, and just breathe. The only thing I have to think about is when to lean for curves. Its one of the most relaxing things for me. Its when I can think clearly without any interrupts. One subject was on my mind Saturday (its something I've been asked more times then I can count )and  I feel compelled to talk about it.

 First off let me say that its no ones business, and I know I certainly don't have to answer however I want to.   I've been asked numerous times "Don't you want more kids??" The answer is yes! And sometimes no!  Biological? Adopted?   I totally understand that these questions are mostly from peoples intrigue with adoption. Most of the time I shrug it off with "we'll see", but today I'm gonna open up and answer. So if you've wonder this very thing then this post is for you.

I would love to have more children. Ya'll know I always wanted 5 right??  Not entirely sure why, but thats just always been the number. Isn't life full of surprises. In high school when everyone was dreaming of careers, my answer remained the same to the million dollar question " What do you wanna do??" I wanna be a mother.  I had no way of knowing then that infertility would destroy those plans of 5 little Stephanies in this world.

Ya'll know our story ( if not you can find it very easily on this blog.) You know that God took the very thing that broke our hearts  and used it for His glory. To find our son Connor on the other side of the world.  We love our life and although it took many years to get here, we love the beauty God brought from our ashes. We wouldnt change a thing.....but do we want more???

Yes, we would love another child. 

Biological??

To be quite honest (from my perspective) no. I know this seems baffling, but its the truth. The thought of "trying" leaves me feeling broken all over again. Even the word feels heart breaking to me. It makes me cringe honestly. So no I have no interest in crying month after month. In getting my hopes up every single time, only to be left sobbing in whatever bathroom i'm in at the time. I can't.... I won't go there again.

However If God sends me a miracle, I cant say I wouldn't be ecstatic. I cannot even fathom the emotions we would feel. The thankfulness and awe that would overflow. Do we believe God could give us biological children?? Of course. We have no way of knowing the plans He has for our future. A biological children would be a huge surprise.

Adopted??

YES!!!! If it were solely up to me id be done with paperwork right now. Honestly we would probably already have another and be working towards a third. However I believe its Gods calling on our life that lead us to Connor, and if its His will then we will step forward in faith just as we did last time. I know what your thinking and your right God cares about ALL orphans so how can we justify waiting to be called. This is where I fully believe in Gods timing. I first began researching adoption early in our marriage. We obviously knew early on something was up, and I was ready to adopt. Could we have started the process back then without letting God lead, sure. Would it have gone as smoothly, no. Without God leading it never does, but sure we could have trudged forward on our own. But guess what at that time Connor wasn't even born yet. This is where my opinion comes into play I fully believe its about finding your child, not adopting a child. So my child was not born. Which means we would have adopted another child. And then the question that leaves me shook, that scares me to the core Without God, with us not waiting to be called and allowing Him to lead " what if we adopted someone elses child?? What if we took someone elses Connor?" I believe God has a plan for us all. So God has a plan for all orphans to have families. Often people arent willing to listen to His still small voice. Arent willing to step out. To some its unthinkable. Thats where Orphans without homes, come into play ( again this is my opinion) and im not saying everyone is called to adopt so please don't get me wrong. However what if another family had decided to adopt Connor, not because God called them to, but because they wanted a child, and they chose him. We would have been robbed of our biggest blessing. Sure we could adopt another child, but it wouldn't be our Connor. I cannot even fathom this, he fits in our family perfectly. Ya know why?? Because God called us to adopt HIM. Not any child, but Him. It was always about him. So just like with Connor, I believe we need to wait on God to call us.

God hasn't called us yet, and we don't know that He will. It could be possible that our family is already complete, only God knows the plans He has for us. If its his plan for us to have more children we will be thrilled, if its not then we are thrilled. God has already given us so much more than we deserve and our life is beautiful.

So will there be more little Jeremy and Stephanie Malones only time will tell. I can tell you theres no secrets or plans right now. However if God says to move, we are ready. Right now we are standing still, and letting God move. We are praying for His will for our family. So stay tuned with us.

I'm a breath of fresh air, I'm a peacemaker.

 I am a peacemaker. I do not enjoy drama, and without even meaning to I feel the weight when others aren't getting along even if it has nothing to do with me. I want peace. I want love. I want happiness and contentment. This hasn't always been something i've loved about myself due to the fact I stay stressed and worried about things that are out of my control. I think disagreements are fights. Disagreements bother me. I carry that with me. Its difficult and as much as I don't like it, I can't turn it off. But i've come to a revolution.....

There's no shame in being a peacemaker. 

I don't share my opinions on facebook. You won't catch me blasting anyone in the comment section. You won't see political views. Because all of these things are recipes for disaster for a peacemaker.  However on the rare occasion I do post something that rubs someone the wrong way I either A. delete my post or comment, or B don't respond. A is normally what ends up happening.  This has only happened however a handful of times and obviously it's never my intent.  I've been accused of never having a opinion to which I say we all have a opinion and i'm no different, I just know when to keep quiet. Which in this day and time is often due to everyone taking offense to everything.  There are times though when we don't think. We say something with no ill intent, and yet its taken opposite I say often that i'm misunderstood. It happens often on social media. The problem is from behind a keyboard you cannot hear someones tone or see their facial expressions. Sometimes in an attempt to be sarcastic or funny were taken wrong because what we've written has been taken seriously. I try my best to put emojis to express the way I mean something, but it doesn't always work. One thing that helps me stay out of unnecessary drama is the just keep scrolling rule. If I see something I don't like or agree with, I just keep scrolling. There's no reason for me to get involved honestly. However sometimes no matter what we do we get caught up in this crazy world of negative reactions.

I've been told off in a support group for crying out loud. I often get a lot of flack for my take on inclusion because I full heartedly think there are times that a CDC room is best. I even chose this route for my own child, which is one of the only times I spoke up.  Dont mess with mama bear. haha

My point is if your a peacemaker like me don't be ashamed. We are few and far between and I happen to think were a breath of fresh air in this drama filled, opinion forced on, crazy world. So keep spreading the peace, and staying out of what doesn't concern you. We cant stop the hate, but certainly don't have to join in. 

Keep being peaceful ya'll. Us peacemakers sincerely appreciate it. 

The things we don't like to talk about.... Terrible twos, Evaluations, and Why I raise Connor differently.

        My son has officially hit the terrible twos.....yes hes six this is one of those things we don't like to talk about.  Connor has changed alot this year, its evident by looking at him. He has grown so so much, but what you may not have noticed is his growth in ways besides his physical appearance.

  Connor has blossomed this year. His knowledge has expanded greatly. He is one smart dude. This year brought lots of changes. Kindergarten year is such a big year, and if your like me you don't fully understand that until you have a child in kindergarten. Its more than coloring and recess like is often joked about.

This year Connor was re-evaluated at school. Connor was first evaluated when he started PreK in 2016, he had been home about 6 weeks at the time. Some thought we were completely crazy to start him in school so early after coming home, we did this for a number of reasons and I can assure you we didnt come to the decision without much prayer and sleepless nights. One of the reasons is so therapy could continue. Connor received therapy at the Orphanage, and we felt it was a good idea to continue asap. Also we felt since his whole life had just been flipped upside down it was best to make things as close to his new normal as possible as soon as possible. This does not work for everyone so please dont get me wrong. We felt this was best for Connor. We didnt want to let him get used to spending all day with us and him get comfortable with this routine and then him start school later and him feel uncertain all over again. I honestly feel like we made the best decision ( for him) doing things this way. He absolutely loves school! I fully attribute this to it always being apart of his life ( since coming home.) 

 I went on a rabbit chase there haha back to my point. Connor was evaluated basically right after coming home. He was found to function on around a  2 year old level at that time with communication lower around a 15 month level. His primary disability was noted as developmental delay.  This was in 2016 so we knew he absolutely needed re-evaluated. He has changed so much since coming home and honestly the evaluation process is flat out amazing when it comes to seeing all the growth and change.

The evaluation process is is very thorough. I filled out a portion as well as his teacher and school psychologist.  It was noted that my findings were a little harsher. Oops, im not sure if this is the norm or not, but I attribute it to me being able to speak more freely as a oppose to others having to thread more lightly due to mama bear. LOL  Either way it was noted that "His mother reacted more negatively to his behavior." Ouch Ill be honest I cried  and felt horrible, but then I dried my eyes and assured myself it was because of what I explained above.

One of my favorite parts is the classroom observation. I think im so intrigued with it because I literally get to see what hes like inside school when mama and daddy are not around. I'll share a little of his classroom observation here to give you a inside look. :)

" When asked to line up Connor immediately went and stood in line. He waited patiently while other peers lined up. Connor was in the middle of the line."     (To my knowledge he has never been one to want to be in the front of the line.)

"Connor nonverbally requested help from one of the special education assistants. Connor wanted to hold her hand as they walked down the hall. As he walked down the hallway he motioned for the observer to hold his hand. The observer was informed that he would attempt to swing."   (Yikes, totally our fault we do swing him alot.)

" In the cafeteria Connor used nonverbal cues ( head shakes and pointing) to indicate his food selection." (I always wonder how he picked, or if they just had learned what he liked and picked for him. Pretty cool to see he makes his own decisions.)

" Connor needed assistance putting his straw in his milk, but overall he ate his food independently." (I remember when he wouldnt do this. He would literally put his arms behind his back. Way to go C!)

" It was noted that he would dump his food onto the tray and use his fingers to eat his meal. It appeared that Connor can eat under light supervision."

" Connor was observed during indoor recess in his CDC room. Connor gravitated towards spilling soft and color blocks into his head and playing with a toy dinosaur. He engaged in more isolated play but would come to an adult when he wanted attention. Connor demonstrated that he can follow classroom rules, such as, cleaning up toys with prompts."

This is why I love this part so much. After reading it I felt like I was right there with him. Other test were done during the evaluation process to get a assessment of his current functioning and skills.
 This year came with a few new behaviors from Connor. He learned the art of yelling.  :(

 He would yell at whoever asked him to do something, or when asked to stop a specific task. This is not a at school only behavior he yells at me also, this has gotten much much better though with appropriate punishment ( at home.) His teachers were wonderful about communicating with me about this so that together we could get this behavior resolved. We all sympathize with him due to knowing alot of this behavior stems from not being able to communicate his thoughts and needs Yet at the same time yelling at other is not appropriate and we stand by that as well.  Connor also began to withdraw and say no and become reluctant to do new things. A good example is he would not go with the examiner for his testing and so testing took place in the CDC room where he was comfortable. One fear of mine for Connors future is that he will not continue to grow and flourish due to his own reluctance to try new things and engage in different activities. I dont know all the answers to this, but all I can do is encourage and continue to try different things with him. All this is noted as my concerns, believe it or not im pretty vocal in these meetings. Ive done so much better this year about not crying. Although there is absolutely nothing wrong with our tears, I try super hard to refrain during these meetings. Ive come along way. Up until this year there hasnt been a IEP I havent sobbed in. I now at least make it to my car and have a good cry by myself.  Its not anything anyone does or says. We have never had a bad meeting. We have never felt bullied or ganged up on. My heart goes out to those parents who have. SPS is amazing! and we are so so thankful for them and all they do for Connor.

This year after his evaluation Connor met state criteria as an intellectually disabled student. While we fully agree with this, its hard to stomach at the same time. In my opinion thats whats so hard about IEPs. Its all things you know, but to hear them out loud its difficult.  This evaluation didnt compare Connor to any specific age, its scaled very different. Connor is well below average compared to his same-aged peers.

I said all this to give you a inside look at a IEP Evaluation. To show you why we go into IEPs with a wall up in order to refrain from emotions. Its one of those things we dont like to talk about. I haven't had a bad experience and yet IEPs are hard. I know they are hard for the teachers as well, I know its difficult on everyone due to needing to be honest and yet knowing your speaking so frankly about someones whole world.

 Now back to why I say Connor has hit the terrible twos.  Connor has recently become aware of his home ( yes hes been here 3 years, but boy has he started discovering recently.) Hes into everything all of a sudden. He opens all drawers and cabinets. His need to explore has come out of nowhere. A good example is up until recently our knifes in the kitchen have remained in a specific drawer ( Connor never got into things so we felt no need to "baby proof") Knifes are now up high out of reach. He will come through the house jabbering and playing and Ill realize he has our ice cream scoop or not so innocently yesterday our pizza cutter. It doesnt seem to matter how much you remind him those things belong in drawers and are not toys. Also the word no or stop means a pouty lip and lots of tears. Or when he gets real mad it means going limp and pitching a fit.  Maybe none of this sounds like terrible twos to you, but its what I think of when I think terrible twos.

I know what others say about me. Im too strict. I make something out of everything. I wont go any further, but I know theres lots more. LOL  The reason I'm so strict and analyze everything is those two words I heard after Connors evaluation....Intellectual Disability."   Its true I raise Connor differently. I know what everyone says and your right He is more alike than different and I do long for a world that sees him as the same. A world that sees him as enough. So dont get offended and stop reading just yet, I raise him different to ensure a good future. For him. For me. For our family. Connor is growing fast, and I know the day will come when he is too much for me to physically handle. I choose to raise him in a way as if this is it. What I mean by that is if  he were to stay in the " terrible twos" forever. I need to have control. Im not one of those " Ill show you whose boss people", and yet I have to be the boss. I have to teach him that you respect adults. That you dont hit or yell. This is why I dislike "rough housing" this is why were so careful about " rough housing." What if I let it all slide now cause lets face it, it is cute now. But it wont be cute when hes towering over me and decides he doesnt like that I took the pizza cutter away from him, he doesnt like the fact that I say "no your not getting that" when were in a store. So he drops to the floor like a limp noodle, he cries and stomps his feet, or worse he hits. Sure I can handle these things now, but when hes much older and bigger little old me isnt going to deter him. Could this happen regardless of course, aggression is a real thing that comes regardless ask anyone who loves someone with special needs. But If I can keep these scenarios from happening by being a little stricter than most you can bet thats what Ill do. Cause hes a cute little boy now, but one day he'll be a man. And its coming quickly so the time is now to teach him all I can, while hes still young enough ( and literally small enough). So yes I raise him differently than most. I am super strict. Its super cute now, but my mind over analyzes cause im picturing him at 16 or 17 doing the same thing, and its far from cute its actually dangerous.

I hope all this makes sense. I know I went through a few different topics. I know im suppose to advocate and show the world (and new special need parents) that life is beautiful and they can do this even when they think they cant. That everything will be ok. That life might be different, but its just a different kind of beautiful however If im gonna do that I wanna share it all. I wanna share everything, even the things we dont like to talk about. 

Goodbye Kindergarten.....

  Today was Connors last day of Kindergarten.....how is that even possible??  Before I start crying....again.  Lets talk about all that happen this year. :)

Connor was in a new classroom this year with a new teacher ( he had the same teacher, and had been in the same classroom up until this year He started preK in 2016.) This was a big change for him, and I was nervous especially the first day I took him and he didnt even wanna go in his new room. As always he adjusted with flying colors and settled into his new routine. He loved his teacher and aides. Connor is in the CDC room, but this year he went to the ( regular) kindergarten class for a little while each day. This is HUGE and SO exciting! His teacher was so good about including him. Connor was even in the Kindergarten program and had a solo part! He played the cow who wouldnt moo, but after encouragement from his "barnyard" friends at the end he mooed. Connor did great! It was the first time he has been included in something with typical peers, and it was one of the most amazing experiences I have had this far as a mother. Ill forever cherish it and am so grateful to his music teacher for believing in him and practicing with him so much.  Connor continued speech, OT, and physical therapy this year. He did great and showed much progress in all areas. Connor also started using proloquo2go its a app he uses on the IPad to help him communicate. He did amazing with this and was able to tell his teacher his wants and needs. He caught on quickly and we are currently applying for grants in order to be able to get one for home as well. Connor also discovered the art of yelling at his teacher. :(  Luckily his teacher is very understanding and knows alot of this stems from his frustration due to not being able to communicate his wants and needs. Please pray we could get a grant to get  proloquo2go in order to help with this. Breaks my heart to know he has so much to say, and cant.  But anyway back to the positives. Connor made new friends this year! He loved riding the bus and his bus driver and bus aide.  Connor went on a field trip with his class to the zoo. Connor loved spending time in the afternoons with Mrs. Crystal till I got off from work. We are so thankful for her and how much she loves Connor. We would literally be lost without her. I dont even like calling her his babysitter because she is family in our eyes.

I know im leaving a million things out, but thats all for now. We are so proud of all Connors done and achieved this year.  Thank you to everyone at SPS for believing in him and helping him achieve so much this year. He may not have met every goal or hit every mile marker, but he grew and changed so much and its evident in all areas.  Have I mentioned were extremely proud?!

Now to enjoy our summer break and then 1st grade here we come.

He went in dancing and came out dancing. 

1st of Kindergarten 

Last day of Kindergarten 

5 years ago....

On this day  5 years ago after much prayer and discernment from God we stepped out on a journey to adopt a child.  God made it very clear from the beginning that it wasn't actually about finding a child to adopt....it was about finding our child. And so the search began....

And it was beautiful.

 And it was hard.

And  when we found him....

 It was magical.

And as we prepared for him...

With each step it became more and more real that after 8 years of struggle we would have our dream come true at last.

Carseat!

And next thing we knew it was time.

And the first time I held him in my arms, I knew every step, every second had been for him.

And although the adoption took time, the love arrived instantly.

And from that first moment I knew I would protect him, provide for him, and love him forever.

And we've celebrated birthdays, Christmas's, and Halloweens.

 And honestly its still like a dream. I constantly cannot believe he's real. Because he is everything we ever wanted and yet hes so much more than we ever imagined.

And not everyone understood or believed but we always knew 

He was our missing piece.

Wordless Wednesday

I remember when I prayed for this....

Do you remember the days you prayed for the things you have now??

Life gets so busy and stressful and chaotic and heavy and the next thing we know we realize somewhere along the way we forgot.

Like somehow when we've had the blessing awhile it becomes less valuable. Of course we dont think that literally, but our actions sometimes paint a different picture.


I remember falling in love and marrying Jeremy.

I remember how I prayed for a Godly man who would love me despite my many flaws. That prayer was answered, and in April we will celebrate 11 years of marriage. I am so grateful to have found love at such a young age and to have literally grown up with my best friend while navigating the blissful and hard times of marriage.

And then after 8 difficult painful years another blessing came when we were blessed with our son. We had prayed, begged, and shed many tears for him in those 8 LONG years, and yet I have no doubt that he came at the perfect time. Part of the reason I know we had to wait was our son wasn't born yet. See I did not grow Connor in my womb, but another woman did. The way God orchestrated our journey to him was nothing, but a miracle. The way He protected and placed him exactly where he needed to be to grow and flourish until we could come for him. None of it is lost on me. I think about it often. The way Gods handprints are all over our adoption journey. I look back at the process and wonder how I ever got through it. The paperwork, the red tape, the travel to a foreign land and all I can figure is God carried me. Because His plans are good. Because He is good. Because of His power and grace.  He saw us crying out for a child and he saw a new mama who wanted to give her son more than she knew she could and He came up with the perfect plan. Because Hes wise and all knowing.

But Connor was three years old when he came, why did we have to continue to wait if he was born already?? Best I can figure is God knew we werent ready. We still had alot of growing and learning to do. See 6 months after we started the adoption journey God allowed me to started a job where I worked with adults with intellectual disabilities. And I cannot even explain to you how it changed me. How it prepared me. Up until that point we were uneducated, and we said no we were not open to a child with  Down Syndrome. But God in his infinite grace and wisdom changed our minds. He placed me at a job where suddenly I saw the worth of those the world sees as different.  It wasnt by chance. It was His plan. I was surrounded by so much love and good people. They cried with me the day I found out we'd been matched with Connor (I found out while at work.) My last day before I left for my FMLA and to travel to meet and bring Connor home they sang "Happy Trails". It was off key and not everyone knew the words, and yet it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I spent three years with the most incredible people Ill ever know, but seasons change and next thing I knew God said it was time to go.

And so I started another job. Surrounded by yet another group of wonderful people. And sure somedays are difficult and yet theres beauty at the same time. I am stretched and refined and changing for the better. I am learning and growing. And on the days when I feel so overwhelmed I remind myself that I prayed for this. After my interview I prayed that God would let me start this new journey, Sure it was scary and so difficult to start over, but I see Gods handprints and I know He placed me there for a purpose, just as He has my entire life.

So if your facing a new season. If your feeling unsure about change. If your holding onto something because its comfortable I urge you to let go. Let go and cling to Him. Cause He will not lead you astray. His plans though sometimes scary are ALWAYS for our good!!  And one day you'll look back with so much love and gratefulness in your heart and say I remember when I prayed for this.