His Timing is Perfect

His Timing is perfect.

I was so tired of hearing that. Over and over. I knew it was true. I knew God was good, but somewhere along the 7 year wait I had grown weary. My heart was a constant state of broken. No matter what there was this deep ache for something more. When would it be my perfect time.  I prayed and prayed. I was patient. impatient, I was hopeful, I was sad, I was angry. I was so many emotions and yet I was empty.

Then one day it happened. We started the adoption Journey. We saw his little face. We had hope, we were happy. As the time grew near and we entered into the last weeks of waiting. We heard from so many friends and family by Christmas. I hope you get him by Christmas. And thats when it happened. I wrote those words and I believed them " His timing is perfect".  I dont know why I knew or how I knew, but I knew we would spend that one last christmas without him. I knew that it wasnt time yet.

I'm not sure why January was our perfect time, but I know everything came together. I know that on January 11th when I pulled him into my embrace that the stars aligned.

I know that nothing ever felt so right. I dont know why a child born to another woman is my son. I dont know why I had to wait 8 years for him.  I dont know why I didnt get to meet my son until he was three years old.

I dont know why it took time for him to accept my love. But I know what it felt like the day he reach over and took my hand for the first time.

  I dont know why it took so long for me to become a mother.

 But I know how it felt after so many years of waiting. I know that it makes me so much more thankful for every single moment. I know it
makes it all so much more special because it didnt come easy.

 I know that because of how it all played out I am a firm believer that those four words are so true.

"HIS TIMING IS PERFECT."