"Your his mother, what do you think??"
Has there ever been a more loaded question. I mean I certainly agree I know him best, and I have his best interest at heart every second of everyday. But to have a doctor ask me. That has never happen before, and yet here I sat at yet another specialist and yet I was being asked my opinion. I can never express how happy this made me. How valued this not only made me as a mother feel, but it also made me realize my son is not just another patient, he is important. So i spilled out what I thought, and guess what, I wasnt asked to give me some false hope, because were going with my plan.
This time next week we will be at ETCH settling in for the night. Connor will have had his tonsils and adenoids removed. Im sure he will be mad as a hornet or completely out of it on pain meds or some irritated space in between. Connor has been put under anesthesia 4 times before and has been a champ each time. It will always make me nervous and on edge, but there is something about this time that has me completely undone. Maybe its because theres a hospital stay involved, hes been hospitalized once before and has rode in a ambulance 3 times, and each time was a trooper considering. Maybe its the fact that after his last surgery, the recovery was a complete nightmare. Maybe its because im expecting the worst due to all the horror stories Im hearing. Maybe its the fact that I think having a sore throat is one of the worst things ever, and I know ive never had it as bad as hes going to. Im not sure why im so afraid, but My anxiety is through the roof and were still a week out. So many fears are surfacing, not even about the actual surgery but his recovery. Cause I know my boy and when hes really sick, he wont eat, he wont drink, and those are the things I will need him desperately to do. Connor can be so stubborn and I just know its gonna be rough. Hes always so brave, and yet hes the same child who goes completely hysterical over them putting a hospital band on his arm. I know Gods got this as He has time and time before, but I am completely shaken this time. So if you would please pray for Connor. Pray for his recovery. Pray he will eat and drink. Pray that everything would go according to plan. Pray for Dr Belmont and the nurses . Hopefully I will look back and laugh about how silly I was being, but right now I am certainly not laughing. As fearful as I am, I am also so relieved to have a dr who listens and actually stopped in the middle of my sons appointment to turn to me and say, " You are his mother, what do you think?"
Because isnt it just like The story of King Solomon.
King Solomon of Israel ruled between two women both claiming to be the mother of a child. He tricked the parties into revealing their true feelings and relationship to the child by suggesting to cut the baby in two, each woman to receive half.
See King Solomon knew the real mother would surrender the child before she ever allowed anyone to harm him, and in the same sense Connors doctor knew that although I was fearful and didnt wanna see my son endure a hard recovery, I would do what was in his future best interest. Which im doing. See Connor is stopping breathing often at night. When I explained his tossing and turning, and the sounds of his snores Dr Belmont was so confident that he skipped doing a sleep study. Connor is all about routines and a sleep study would be a complete and total disaster and so he asked me what I thought. As much as it pained me to say lets do everything at once, I knew that was in the best interest of Connor. And thats one of the beautiful things about parenthood, you may see a easier way for yourself, but youll choose the harder path if it will benefit your child. And this time next week we will be on the harder path, but im confident the end result will be worth the harder journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment