My Sons Birth Story

  All Moms wanna share there babies birth story and although Connor is adopted I wanna share my babys birth story too!!!

    Connor was born on September 17, 2012. He was born at 38 weeks gestation by a normal vaginal birth.  He weighed 7 pounds 2 oz. Connor was noted to have Down Syndrome at birth. ( This was a BIG shock and was not known during the pregnancy.) Connor was named Tin Yan at birth by his birth mother which means "Gift from Heaven." 

  I wont say much about Connors birth family, but I will say his mother desperately wanted to keep him. She however after almost 5 months of searching for a way made the ultimate sacrifice and showed the most selfless love by placing her beautiful baby for adoption. She knew that someone else could give him more and loved him enough to give him a better life than what she believed she could give. I admire her strength. 

Connor was placed into a foster home in January 2012. We had the pleasure while in Hong Kong to meet Connors foster mama and I can say without a doubt that he was loved and given excellent care.

She spoke at Connors farewell party about how she had prayed for this day for so long and was so thankful that Connor had found his family.

Connors birth mother relinquished her rights on February 18, 2013. Those who know me know that is my birthday and what a gift I was given that year, although I wouldnt know it for two more years I received the best birthday gift I will ever receive that year. Her heartbreaking decision would make my dreams come true.

Connor moved to Wee Care in Mothers Choice Orphanage in March 2014. 

It was a hard transition for him, but if he only knew how happy he would be there. The care and love he received was immeasurable!! He was loved and cherished so deeply and would not be the person he is today without all the workers who poured their love and time into my sweet boy. 

Connor was given Speech, physical, and occupational therapy at the orphanage.

Connor could sit on his own in March 2014. He crawled in September 2014. Stood alone in December 2014. 

 And  In June 2015 Connor began to walk on his own.  He continued to grow and grew bigger and stronger.

We were matched with Connor on July 21, 2015, and on September 11, 2015 He was first introduced to us through video and pictures.

 On January 11, 2016 we finally met Connor.

It was a wonderful day that will forever be completely indescribable for me.

We got in the floor and played music and just got to know each other.

It was a perfect day and it sure was hard to leave that night.

The next thing we knew it was time to say goodbye and it sure was so hard to take this sweet boy from the only family he had ever known.

It was a day filled with so much sadness, and yet so much happiness too.

And that is Connors story. It has some sad parts, but oh the happy parts far outweigh all the sad.  This is my sons birth story. 

Memory Monday

Just some pictures from Our

latest adventures.

I'm with you....

There I sat in a dark room with my son on my lap watching the monitor. The nurse took pictures as he squirmed and I tired to calm him and keep him still. A million thoughts in my mind and yet I begged my body not to feel anxious or nervous so that he wouldn't know. The colors on the screen flickered as his heart beat. I thought about how fragile life is. I thought about the blessing in my lap and about how things could be so different . I sat In this same seat 6 months earlier as the nurses face changed. Her simple small talk stopped and the room grew silent and I knew. I knew something was wrong. I knew she saw something. She excused herself from the room and came back saying the doctor had cleared his schedule so he could see us and a thousand thoughts raced through my mind as the panic began to sink in. We hurried down the hall to the pediatric cardiologist wing. This wasn't suppose to happen I kept thinking as I held my toddler in my arms. We were just here for a echocardiogram we weren't suppose to see the doctor. It was silent as we hurried down the hall begging ourselves not to fall apart. The doctor arrived after what seemed like an eternity. He explained that there was fluid around our guys heart and although it was no where near a dangerous level it was still a concern. He told us to come back in 6 months and if the fluid had increased then it would be time to be concerned and take action.
  Here we were 6 months later and I wondered if this would be a life changing day. Little man sat still on my lap watching cartoons on the tv on the wall while the nurse took pictures of his tiny heart. We were sent back to the waiting room to wait on the doctor to call us back. Finally it was our turn and we headed back to see the doctor. When the door opened I felt my breath catch in my throat. I immediately heard "Everything looks normal ". "And I don't need to see you all again."I have never felt such relief. And yet I immediately thought of the parents who sat in this same room and heard much different news. We left there that day on such a high and yet so many leave so completely broken.     40-50% of babies born with Down syndrome have heart defects. Although we're not in that percentage it is a humbling feeling to know we so easily could have been.  My prayers are with those parents who get the not so good news in those waiting rooms, who have to walk into a room and see their tiny baby hooked up to tons of tubes after heart surgery, those who brushed back their sleeping babies hair and trace their fingers over a long scar down their child's chest. Although I may never understand the depth of your fear and hurt I am with you. To listen, to prayer, to grieve, no matter what you need I'm with you because I could have so easily been with you.

Bringing you home...

 Imagine traveling for nearly 20 hours being up over 24 hours. 3 flights one that was 11 hours long. With your brand new toddler. We were exhausted, but We couldnt wait to be home. We couldnt wait for our family to see this beautiful boy that we had meet 5 days earlier. We had so much anticipation and excitement and when we stepped into that airport lobby filled with our closest friends and family clapping, cheering,and crying...

Life Began...

  I cannot even describe to you how it felt. I cant explain what was going through my mind or the emotions filling my body.

 Im certain that it was love at first sight just like it was for us.

Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles were born.

And for the first time we made our debut as parents.

 It was the most wonderful and exhilarating  experiences of my life. It was more than I could have ever hoped or dreamed and we are so thankful for each and everyone who came out be apart of Connors homecoming.

Change is constant....

  One thing about change thats certain....its constant.  We cannot stop it, we cannot change it. We simply are along for the ride in a sense.

 This is hard as a parent. We bring home our sweet babies and we want them to stay that tiny forever. But they grow they change and we cannot do anything about it. We blink and they are grown. Some of our dear friends are getting ready to send their babies to college and my heart aches for them. Cause now that im a mother, I get it.

 In March Connor started PreK. I barely held it together. Up to that point I had left him with no one. The first day Jeremy and I snuck out of the room and Connor played unknowingly and never realized we were gone. However day two did not go the same I took Connor by myself because day one went so well. He knew. He knew I was gonna leave him no matter how I tried to hide it or hang out and act like I was staying. Finally I could linger no longer and they pried my sweet boy off of my leg he was clinging to and I turned and walked away while he sobbed and reach for me. Needless to say I sobbed the entire way home and I worried the entire day ( ok he only stays three hours, but it felt like a entire day.) This went on for a few more days until one day He waved bye and went to play with the other kids. A change had occurred. Connor realized that we would come back for him and He realized that even if he cried he was still staying. This was my first battle as a mother. This was my first triumph. We did it!! I could drop him off with no tears ( from either of us.) And yet my little boy had changed and it was hard to let him go.

My biggest battle was when I returned to work about a month later. I can remember sitting in the bathroom  at work sobbing thinking I couldnt make it. I couldnt do this. But here we are four months later and we all survived. Oh it was difficult for awhile, but we adjusted and we changed. I still get sad and I do not like being away from my little man for 8 hours a day, but its necessary.  But I changed. I dont sob in the work bathroom anymore. I countdown to the weekend ( probably always will), but im ok unlike in the beginning.

Tomorrow Connor starts his 2nd year of preK and im nervous, but im not afraid like last year. Because I know he'll be fine and I will too. I know that whether he cries or runs off to play we will survive.

We change together and we grow together and as much as we may want things to stay the same they cant.  Change is constant and we will just be along for the ride.\

Im thankful We have a God who NEVER changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever!! In a world thats constantly changing  What a promise we have in that!!

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Legally ours

Can I just say how thrilled we are that the adoption is finalized and Connor Thaddeus Malone is our guys actual legal name now!!! I am so overjoyed that I no longer have to come up with poses to hide this cuties face.

Of course the journey is not over, once we receive Connors birth certificate we have to apply for a SSN and then we can apply for citizenship. So we still have steps to go, but he is ours and we can feel so much excitement and relief. 

God is so faithful and we are overjoyed that he chose this adorable, sweet, and joyful boy to be our son.

Connors story video

All things have become new.

 Today I stood with my right hand in the air and promised to love, protect, and  take you as my own  forever.   Today after 27 months of jumping through hoops, stressing, filling out paperwork, and lots of crying it all was completed. The journey of pursuing you was completed and today you were adopted.

Life will throw us curve balls we all know that, everyday wont be a easy day, but I promise to face each day with you.

I dont always have all the answers, but I have never been more confident in an answer than I was today.

As long as there is breath in my body you will be loved, as long as im near you will be protected. I will laugh with you, I will cry with you, and through good times and bad I will be there to lift you up.

 You never have to wonder if your good enough and you never have to question if your loved.

Because we prayed for you, we pursued you, and today you became our son. 

Welcome to our Family Connor Thaddeus Malone. 

You are our dream come true.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17