I know its hard to understand when your not in our shoes hearing God whisper adoption and point us in that direction day after day. Thats ok its our calling to answer we know everyone wont agree with it. I want people to know that I want to be his mother. I know you think im talking crazy and you think what I mean is I want to get pregnant, but nope I want to be "His" mother. God has changed my heart in so many ways that sometimes I feel like im a different person, and I now understand so many things that never made sense before. Others will say that we adopted because we had tried so long to have our own to no avail. I however 100% believe we never got pregnant because we were suppose to adopt. Im not saying that no one adopts who has biological children we have several friends who have, and oh what a blessing ALL of their children are. I know this is how God has chosen to grow our family. Will we have biological children in the future?? Only God knows the answer to that, I know that if we do others will say that we gave up to soon. Nope wrong again. Baby C was meant to be our first child I believe that with all thats within me. Seriously I am meant to be His mother. And I love Him. How do you love someone you have never met and know nothing about?? I dont know ya'll I cant explain it. I dont know why all I wanna do is protect him and keep him safe. I cant tell you how I long to read him bedtime stories and tuck him in each night. I cant understand myself the feeling that its time for me to grow up and put myself second. I dont comprehend the way my heart flutters when I simply open the door to the room that will one day be his. All I know is God has placed a desire in my heart to be " His" mother. Not a mother like before, but "His" mother.
I can remember while leaving in Montana feeling God speak to me about adoption. I remember around the same time everytime I turned around someone was preaching about psalm 37:4 (Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.) I thought to myself God is gonna allow me to be a mother I just knew it. Of course at the time I assumed that would mean conceiving . All along I had it all wrong. God wants us to desire what He desires. He wants us to surrender our lives and desire his will for us. Then He will give us those wonderful blessings that end up being exactly the desires of our heart even if we didnt always realize it. He has placed a desire in my heart to love, protect, and care for a little boy in Hong Kong, China. I dont know his age, I dont know his birth given name, I dont know his medical needs, but I know one thing for absolute certain......I want to be His mother.
I can remember while leaving in Montana feeling God speak to me about adoption. I remember around the same time everytime I turned around someone was preaching about psalm 37:4 (Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.) I thought to myself God is gonna allow me to be a mother I just knew it. Of course at the time I assumed that would mean conceiving . All along I had it all wrong. God wants us to desire what He desires. He wants us to surrender our lives and desire his will for us. Then He will give us those wonderful blessings that end up being exactly the desires of our heart even if we didnt always realize it. He has placed a desire in my heart to love, protect, and care for a little boy in Hong Kong, China. I dont know his age, I dont know his birth given name, I dont know his medical needs, but I know one thing for absolute certain......I want to be His mother.
No comments:
Post a Comment