Soaking in these last moments...

  I know this is going to seem crazy and please know that after 20 months of being paper pregnant I more than likely am. I want Connor here more than anything. I cannot wait to see him steps away from me and for the moment I can wrap my arms around him for the first time. I cannot wait to spend saturday mornings watching cartoons and eating a granola bar while he plays around the living room and more than likely eats most of my breakfast. I just cant wait for the day to day things we so often take for granted, but dont think I have hit the mushy gushy train completely because I also cant wait for SLEEPOVERS at the grandparents. Yep you heard me correctly and I honestly cant believe it myself but im human and willing to admit I will need breaks. I will need a moment to catch my breath. Even though it seems I have had all the time in the world I somehow dont think anything can prepare you for the parenthood train, especially with a toddler that lets be honest in the first few weeks is practically a stranger. Obviously when I say sleepovers I mean eventually as he needs stability for the beginning months He is home. One of those things I want him to always have and grow accustom to is Mama and Daddy at night night time at his own house and in his own bed, but eventually it will be time and as bad as it hurts my heart it will be time. And I can pretend its all for him and his grandparents to spend time together and although that will be part of it, ill still know deep down its for Mama and Daddy to be able to have a conversation over a hot meal that WE actually get to eat all of. And for SLEEP that we miss so much. And as awesome as the break will be our hearts will miss him more than we ever thought possible and we will be counting down until we see his sweet face the next morning.


I said all that to say this. As much as I cannot wait and as much as I wish He were here 20 months ago. Im thankful for the time I got to spend just with Jeremy. Staying up late, watching tv in bed, going out to eat, just all of it. The day to day things that soon may still happen from time to time, but will still be very different. These last few weeks as much as we are anxious and cannot wait to add our little guy to our day to day life, we are soaking in these last moments of just the two of us that will be few and far between very soon.

                                              Cant wait to parent with the Love of my life!!