I know what your thinking, and I understand. You wonder why I carry my son so much. You say I should let him walk. You wonder how long im gonna continue to carry him.
When I say I understand im serious. I totally get the concerns. I know that it doesnt help those at school, I know that it doesnt help him grow stronger and more stable on his feet. I know that Connor may only weigh 26 pounds, but I also know hes tall. Ive had the obvious stated "Hes as long as you" while you laugh because im carrying him. I know that before hes too heavy to carry, he will become to tall for me to carry. I know that I may be physically unable to carry him long before he outgrows the urge to be carried. I know all the concerns. Ive heard all the advice. I know for the most part it doesnt come from a malicious place. And while I understand and while im mostly in agreement theres something I need everyone to understand too.
My arms ached for 7 years. I longed for a baby of my own, and I yearned to hold my child. I prayed for it, I dreamed about it, it consumed my thoughts. It seems irrational I know, but I promise my arms ached to feel the weight of my child in them. Then after the 7 year wait I finally saw my sons face, but it was another 21 months before I was able to hold my sweet boy. And I know that my son is not a baby. I know that when I came into his life he was already a little boy. Trust me I know. Thats why I carry him. Thats why when his arms reach for me they are met with my arms. I didnt get to carry my child for the first year of his life, like other moms do. I know that this seems like a pity party statement, but its me being honest. Im not blind to the fact that i dont have much longer. I know that I cannot continue down this path, because soon I will no longer be able to just put him on my hip and carry him everywhere. I know that he will spend less time in my arms as we walk through life. Sure ill still hold him anytime, but being able to carry him will no longer be a continuous option. So thats why for now you'll see him on my hip alot. Thats why when you see him reach for me, he is not first met with the words no you need to walk.
So call me crazy, and whisper your disapproval if you must, but my arms ached for so long and im carrying him for as long as physically possible.
There will be lots of things I will wish I had did different as the years go by and I look back on how I raised and parented this precious boy. But what you wont hear me say is " I wish I had carried him more."
When I say I understand im serious. I totally get the concerns. I know that it doesnt help those at school, I know that it doesnt help him grow stronger and more stable on his feet. I know that Connor may only weigh 26 pounds, but I also know hes tall. Ive had the obvious stated "Hes as long as you" while you laugh because im carrying him. I know that before hes too heavy to carry, he will become to tall for me to carry. I know that I may be physically unable to carry him long before he outgrows the urge to be carried. I know all the concerns. Ive heard all the advice. I know for the most part it doesnt come from a malicious place. And while I understand and while im mostly in agreement theres something I need everyone to understand too.
My arms ached for 7 years. I longed for a baby of my own, and I yearned to hold my child. I prayed for it, I dreamed about it, it consumed my thoughts. It seems irrational I know, but I promise my arms ached to feel the weight of my child in them. Then after the 7 year wait I finally saw my sons face, but it was another 21 months before I was able to hold my sweet boy. And I know that my son is not a baby. I know that when I came into his life he was already a little boy. Trust me I know. Thats why I carry him. Thats why when his arms reach for me they are met with my arms. I didnt get to carry my child for the first year of his life, like other moms do. I know that this seems like a pity party statement, but its me being honest. Im not blind to the fact that i dont have much longer. I know that I cannot continue down this path, because soon I will no longer be able to just put him on my hip and carry him everywhere. I know that he will spend less time in my arms as we walk through life. Sure ill still hold him anytime, but being able to carry him will no longer be a continuous option. So thats why for now you'll see him on my hip alot. Thats why when you see him reach for me, he is not first met with the words no you need to walk.
So call me crazy, and whisper your disapproval if you must, but my arms ached for so long and im carrying him for as long as physically possible.
There will be lots of things I will wish I had did different as the years go by and I look back on how I raised and parented this precious boy. But what you wont hear me say is " I wish I had carried him more."
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