Sometimes in life we have to make tough calls. We have to make decisions based on whats best not only for us but our family members. I had to make a tough decision recently. A heart breaking decision and honestly it wasn't best for me, but it was whats best for someone I love and so id do the same if I had to make the decision again.
I recently spoke with a nurse from ETCH who cared for Connor a few weeks ago when we were there. She called to check on him and make sure things were going in a better direction than when she saw him last. We spoke about how his asthma was still acting up and how we were having to use his inhaler a lot. She then spoke to me about triggers. She mentioned pets briefly along with perfume, cleaning chemicals, and smoke. I didn't think much of what we had talked about until that night when I began to sweep. Anyone who knows me knows I am a clean freak. I cannot stand a mess and I sweep what feels like 24/7. As I was sweeping I got up so much dog hair and I mean so much dog hair. And in that moment It hit me. My son is breathing this in. My son who has asthma. My son who has scaring in his right lung. My son who has respiratory problems. My son who gets pneumonia easily and often, and although it had never clicked before I knew it was time to make a change I didn't wanna make. A change that broke my heart. A change that I didn't see much benefit in for myself personally, but isn't that what loves about. Doing things to solely benefit someone else. And so today I said goodbye to Diesel and Nala. Im certain my tears could fill a river. My heart feels so heavy. I am absolutely broken. I cannot stand the sound of our silent house. I long to hear the sound of paws clicking across the hardwood floor, but instead I see a little face smiling. A little face laughing and I know that even though this hurts, it was the right thing. Because it was to benefit my child and If you have a child, that child comes first, Not anyone else, not anything else.
I love you forever Na Na and DD. I will never forget all the joy and love you both brought into my life from the very first time I held you in my arms. You made our house a home and our home will forever be missing a little something now. The only comfort I have is in knowing that you both will be bringing the joy I felt to someone else now and making someone elses house feel more like a home. Ill miss you both forever, and im very sorry I had to let you both go.
I recently spoke with a nurse from ETCH who cared for Connor a few weeks ago when we were there. She called to check on him and make sure things were going in a better direction than when she saw him last. We spoke about how his asthma was still acting up and how we were having to use his inhaler a lot. She then spoke to me about triggers. She mentioned pets briefly along with perfume, cleaning chemicals, and smoke. I didn't think much of what we had talked about until that night when I began to sweep. Anyone who knows me knows I am a clean freak. I cannot stand a mess and I sweep what feels like 24/7. As I was sweeping I got up so much dog hair and I mean so much dog hair. And in that moment It hit me. My son is breathing this in. My son who has asthma. My son who has scaring in his right lung. My son who has respiratory problems. My son who gets pneumonia easily and often, and although it had never clicked before I knew it was time to make a change I didn't wanna make. A change that broke my heart. A change that I didn't see much benefit in for myself personally, but isn't that what loves about. Doing things to solely benefit someone else. And so today I said goodbye to Diesel and Nala. Im certain my tears could fill a river. My heart feels so heavy. I am absolutely broken. I cannot stand the sound of our silent house. I long to hear the sound of paws clicking across the hardwood floor, but instead I see a little face smiling. A little face laughing and I know that even though this hurts, it was the right thing. Because it was to benefit my child and If you have a child, that child comes first, Not anyone else, not anything else.
I love you forever Na Na and DD. I will never forget all the joy and love you both brought into my life from the very first time I held you in my arms. You made our house a home and our home will forever be missing a little something now. The only comfort I have is in knowing that you both will be bringing the joy I felt to someone else now and making someone elses house feel more like a home. Ill miss you both forever, and im very sorry I had to let you both go.
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