The reason for these letters

         First off let me say i'm sure people think this is crazy. To write letter to someone i have never met but One day I will met you and print each page and put into your baby book and when your older you'll treasure them. Some people will say you dont know you may never have children and if thats Gods plan for me thats fine by me but I have faith that I will because its a desire of my heart.
 Delight yourself in the Lord,and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

   Let me also explain to you how much you were wanted. When I was little I played with babydolls ALL the time. I dreamed of the day when I would be a mom, and when i was in highschool and asked what I wanted to be I always said a mother. It was my dream it was so important to me. When your Daddy and I got married I longed for a baby. but your daddy wanted some me and him time first and I totally understood that. I understood but deep down I never stopped longing for you. I thought about what it would be like the moment I looked down at a positive pregnancy test or when a doctor laid you in my arms. I can cry just thinking about both of them. So never doubt for one second  whether you were wanted or not.

    I think about you constantly whether you'll be a boy or girl, Who you will look like, If you'll be born in summer or winter, What will you weigh, Will I ever be able to tell you in words how much I love you. How much longer will I have to wait for you? Some days I get very discouraged. See before We moved to Montana Daddy and I werent preventing you and I worried and cried alot. I went to doctors and they said my sugar was to high and I wasnt ovulating every month like I should. That scared me so bad because if I dont ovulate I cant get pregnant. So I prayed and prayed but I was deep down I was mad at God. Mad because Others were having babies. Mad because He knew how badly I wanted you. I was doing everything God wanted why wouldnt He bless me with a baby. But ya know what I wasnt doing everything He wanted. He was trying to tell me things but I wasnt listening. God wanted your Daddy and Me to step out on faith and move to Montana. So when I finally hit rock bottom and started listening and understood his plan for me I felt alot better. I wasnt mad anymore. So in july 2010 We moved to Montana and now more than ever I understand Gods plan. See there are lots of kids here who need love and someone to care bout them. No there not my own babies and I still long for my own but they need me right now. So I can pour my love into them while I wait for you.

   Dont think that daddy didnt want you. He wants you very much but Daddy is scared. Mommy wants you so much that it pushes her fear aside but deep down im scared too. I wonder how I will do raising you here in Montana without my Momma or Daddys Momma to help me. I know others here will help me but I still worry.  I know that You will be the best thing thats ever happen to me. I know that You will fill my life with so much Joy. I cannot wait till We meet each other baby. I cannot wait to hold a positive pregnancy test and I cannot even imagine holding you. 

  I hope these letter show you how wanted and loved you were long before God even started creating you. I always want you to know that your loved and I hope these letter make you feel special and bring you happiness long after I'm gone.

                                                            Momma