I almost missed out on my son....

     I  was almost robbed  of a MAJOR blessing....Ever had a case of the I cants?? If you said no then you just lied because we all have. I cant do this and I cant do that. When I think back on our adoption journey I am humbled and blown away at how I have grown in my walk with Christ. I have no doubt He has used this experience to change me. If you havent read my post about God moving our hearts toward Hong Kong then click here and even then we were holding onto the fear and I cants, but our hearts changed more and more click here to read all about it. In the beginning we filled out what we were open to as far as needs and diagnosis and all I can do is look back at that first form and shake my head. Oh how we had little faith in ourselves. We convinced ourselves we couldnt handle almost every need on the list. Looking back I have no doubt it was all the devil trying to destroy Gods plan. However we got on our knees and cried out to God to show us how He wanted us to fill out the form and oh how things began to change in our hearts.

            You may have read about our sweet boy, (click here to read), the reason I had looked at his picture and it had never clicked that He was my child was because we werent open to his diagnosis.
Oh how the devil smiled when we marked no next to Down syndrome, he thought he had won. Im glad that God spoke to me one sunday during  worship at church, He used a song we had sang tons of times, but that day I really heard it.

 As I sang these words He spoke to me, I had been struggling for weeks and I knew deep down that I was meant to be a mother to a child I felt unready for, I was meant for a journey I thought I couldnt handle or wouldnt be good at. I knew that "walking upon the waters wherever you would call me" meant saying yes to a child I had already made up my mind and said no to. Thats why I had looked at his picture and prayed he would find a family who would love him unconditionally and all along God knew we were that family, but He couldnt make us see. It scares me to think that I was almost robbed of one of the biggest blessings of my life because of fear and I cants. I almost didnt know the joy of motherhood because I wouldnt "trust without borders".

I almost missed out on my son.


Are you letting the I cants and fear rob you of a blessing God has for you?? Walk upon the waters where God is leading you today. Dont waste another minute letting the devil win. Dont be robbed of what could possibly be one of the greatest blessings God has for you.