March 2014

One step closer. . . . .

     Jeremy and I applied today to adopt through a adoption aggency. We only sent in the preliminary application for adoption, but thats one step closer than we were yesterday. We should hear within one to two business days if we passed and can move onto the next step. I am so fearful, but I know that even if this doesnt workout God has a plan. No matter what I know at the end of that plan there is a child who will finally get a  a Momma and Daddy and our arms will finally ache no more because finally they will be wrapped around our baby.


        Such a exciting day. Cant wait to see what God does next.

Our Nala :)

    We took Nala to the vet today and She weighed 9 pounds!!! What?! Where is the tiny 3 pounds puppy I brought home. . . .

    The little puppy who had never barked, who was afraid of everything, and never left my side.

            It seems within a instant She changed.  She barked for the first time on Christmas Eve ( and has not stopped since). Somedays when she seems to  bark nonstop I think back to that first little weak bark she mustered up and remember how it made Jeremy and I laugh.
   I remember how the wind scared her to death and She would run  straight to me from the leaves as they blew and hide behind me. I would laugh so hard, now I am yelling for her to come back as she chases the leaves as the wind blows all around her.

 We laugh about her facial expressions.

especially when she smiles!!

  She is just there to hangout with everyday, and She just makes life more fun. 

     Pets are not for everyone, and not everyone thinks of their pet as a family member or their friend. And thats ok everyones different and I totally get it. However Nala has made us smile and laugh even on days when we are upset and unhappy. When we are totally stressed and worried about things in life  Nala  snuggles up in our lap, and even though were still stressed and worried  somehow she helps. She is there when were happy, sad ,mad, scared. At our absolute worst She is still there and ready to snuggle up in our lap.

She is constantly there for us and isnt that what friends and family do for us. So yes She is a member of our family and She is our friend and yes she is still just a dog, but she is OUR dog.  She is Nala Malone, and we may be just a little bit CRAZY ABOUT HER :)

The End

Embarking on a Journey. . . . .

           I felt the call to adopt In January of 2013, although thats when I felt I knew for sure all through my life I have often thought of adoption. Jeremy was not so sure and I totally understood, its a HUGE decision. I begin to pray for him and asked God if adoption was what He wanted for us to get Jeremy on the same page as me. The truth is its hard to give up a dream of a baby thats part me and part Jeremy, but the truth is families are made many different ways and my (adopted) child is not plan b. Jeremy came to me a few nights ago and  said we would start the adoption journey in 2015. I was shocked, but absolutely overjoyed. I finally knew this is Gods plan for us. I finally understood so many things I have went through and questioned why. It all made sense. What I want my child to know and realize is they were never second choice, they are not here only because we couldnt have our own. They were Gods plan for us all along. They needed a Mom and Dad just as we longed to be parents and God had a perfect plan. Better than what we had dreamed or hoped.
     The next few months we will begin our search and begin researching adoption agencies. I know God will lead us to the one He wants us to use. I know most agencies want you to be in your thirtys. So this will narrow our search down since we are not in our thirtys, but that cannot stop Gods plan. I know that We dont have the money to fund the adoption, but I know God has a plan for that too. We are trusting and clinging to Him and His promises.
           We are scared, excited, and anxious to start on this new journey. We ask that you please pray for us and that God will show us which agency to choose. 

A change in me. . . . .

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
Matthew 7:7


           A month or so ago I begin asking God to help me be a true worshiper. I know how pathetic to ask the one your suppose to worship to help you worship himself better, but I asked. I poured my heart out. I asked God to help me connect with Him not only in worship, but in every area of my life. I asked Him to help me draw closer to Him. Closer than I've ever been. 
      I asked and it was given, I knocked and the door swung open.
   I cannot explain what has happen within the last few weeks, but there has been a change in me. I'm not sure others can  or have noticed, but I feel it and I know im different. I have never felt the genuine worship I feel now. I have never felt so intune with the holy spirit. I cannot explain it. I cannot understand it, but its amazing. I  feel closer to God than ever before and I dont care what others think. If I wanna lift my hands I do, If I wanna cry and still sing to the top of my lungs ( even though im sure it sounds horrendous) I do it. I completely let the spirit lead me which is all new to me sadly. 
  I am not writing this to brag about me or boast about my worship because its nothing compared to what God deserves . I am only saying if your not feeling as close to God as you once were, or your more worried about what others think of how you look during worship instead of spending time worshiping the God who made you , Maybe its time to ask because when you do what you recieve  may just be life changing.


If you dont feel as close to God as you once did, Guess who moved??!!??!?

6 weeks already?!?!?!?!

  Everytime I see you I fall more and more in love with you. . . . . . 

I'm sure you all remember me blogging about this sweet girl and introducing you to Miss Kinlee Rayne. If not you can click here to read that post. What you may not realize is yesterday this baby girl turned 6 WEEKS old!!!! Not sure how that happened overnight!!!! Time sure does fly and Our family is enjoying every single second watching this beautiful girl grow!!!

  Please join me in praying for her sweet mommy as she heads back to work monday.



Father,
   We ask that you be with Lacey as She heads back to work Monday. Take away all anxiety and worry she has and allow her to enjoy this weekend with her family. Lord we pray that when Monday comes you wrap your arms around this whole family and give them peace like they have never known. 
In Jesus Name, 
Amen

I would give it up all over again. . . .

I did not write this!!! I repeat this was not written by me......
However this is my story!  I too married at 19 and I too heard plenty of
comments that were discouraging, I too gave up more than I ever dreamed I would have too,  and I too would
do it all over again.

Click here to read the post

Molly

Did I forget to mention this sweet girl??

I got to spend time with Molly (our dog when we lived in Montana) when I was there last month. She is doing wonderful and loving her forever family. I am so thankful that we never have to worry about her. She is in great hands! :)

Well hello again

Hello again cold weather!! The warm weather was awesome, but today I awoke to find the cold weather back :( boooooo!!!!  I guess i changed to a summery background and got excited a but prematurely But that's ok the warm weather will be back soon to stay.      
Happy Thursday!!!!!

  

        Throwback Thursday

4/19/08

Catching up. . . . . . .

       Well Hello warm weather!!!! I normally love the cold, but I must admit this warm weather has been very nice. :) I am ready for T-Shirts and flip flops. Lately that is exactly the weather we have had. Still cool enough not to be miserable, but warm enough for no jacket until night. I love it. If you noticed I even changed my blog background since it was snow to go along with the new warm feeling. I moved all my sweaters and boots to the back of the closet and I am ready for spring. :)
         Have I said lately how much I love my job. If I have sorry your about to hear it again. I LOVE my job. Maybe its because I havent been in a public job in well over 3 years. Im not sure, but its a great place to work. With awesome employers and amazing CoWorkers and I am so so thankful that I am blessed to be working there.
          We are doing really good, and since coming back from Montana I am at peace. I still miss it more than fathomable, but I have peace in knowing I am right where God wants me to be. Things are going good at The Fellowship Church ( TFC). Our sunday service now starts at 11:30am so if you enjoying sleeping late you can still make it to come worship with us. :)
         Well there is a little update for you. :) Things are wonderful and we are thankful for the great God we serve who is working all things out for our good. Have a happy Tuesday!!!




          

i'm not gonna worry because I am blessed!!!!!

        I look around and all I can think lately is I'm so BLESSED!!!!
         I have been at my job one month and I absolutely love it. I have my own car now. I have a awesome hubby and wonderful marriage. We have a nice place to live we rent but we are very happy with it. And last but now least God has place beautiful babies all around me. . .  . . . . . . .

 I know I have went through the whiny phase of
"why dont I have a baby bump? "                                    
 "Why am I not registering a child for kindergarten?"
" Whens it my turn?"
"waaaa waaaa waaa!!!!"




But ya know what I decided im not gonna worry. When I feel fearful and my head tells me that i'll never be a mother. I take a deep breath and say thats ok. God has a plan for me and maybe thats for me to be a mother and maybe its not. He has a plan for all of us and its not the same as His plan for everyone else.

It has not mattered where I have been God has ALWAYS placed children around me. I was reminded wednesday night as a tiny voice said "Momma, Can I go to Stephanies Tomorrow??" that its ok if there not mine. Its ok if I never have my own because I know the love Children can bring even if they arent mine and some folks go a lifetime and never know that love.

 Instead of worrying and wishing I will take a deep breath and enjoy every moment with the miracles God has placed around me to love.  I will think about the house I couldnt be living in, the car I couldnt be driving, and the amazing love of a husband I have that others wait a lifetime for, and I will realize that Gods ways are perfect and even if my own children are not in my future  His ways are still perfect and I am still blessed.

Have a great weekend!!!!!

Falling Deeper in Love with Him and Watching Everything else fall into place. . . . . . . . .

        God has been giving me a sense of peace and the anger is beginning to subside. As most everyone knows I have struggled with direction and meaning since moving back to Tennessee in July ( 2013). Although I am happy now and after my visit to Montana last week am more certain Tennessee is where God wants us, I am still not sure what my purpose is. Some days I still feel completely lost and confused.
    So I been praying  and a couple days ago while reading my bible God spoke to me. He said "Fall deeper into your relationship with me, and all your other relationships will strengthen and deepen as well." It was so clear and so plain. Yet why did He have to tell me? Why do we put our jobs, relationships, and everything else in front of Him?  I know I know its because were human and are sinful by nature.  I plan to do better about putting God first. How about you??
    I also have been praying about my worship. I wanna break through and truly worship, but have always been cautious about what others will think. I asked God to help me to break loose from the rut I've been in. Its not about the song, how the music sounds, or contemporary or old time gospel. ITS ABOUT HIM!!!!
        I think I am finally beginning to get that. Today after a awesome worship service  where I completely let go and let the spirit led me, we entered into the scripture and bam almost immediately I felt God speak to me. He said " If you will draw closer to me, everything else will fall into place."  Wow almost the same meaning as a few days ago and  all I wanna do is fall deeper in love with Him and watch everything else "fall into place." I then snapped out of my thoughts in time to hear our Youth Pastor JJ say Stop thinking about pleasing yourself and start concentrating on pleasing God.  Wow another awesome word for me.  The scripture that stuck out to me most was this

Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers and sisters. Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men  nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.  And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Corinthians 6:8-11
  

It honestly blew me away. Yes I was there and Yes He washed and sanctified me. I absolutely did not deserve it. All I wanna do is obey Him and do exactly as He has asked me to. I still am not 100% what that is, but I am focusing on falling deeper into my relationship with Him.   I am so excited to see what God has in store for me and look forward to hearing Him more clearly as I deepen our relationship. 

Thanks for your prayers......Hope everyone had a great weekend.

 

Mad. . . . .

         Not sure whats going on with me, but I have been so mad and frustrated lately. The smallest things set me off and I am just MAD.  I cannot shake it and the minute I start to something else ticks me off.

        It didnt help that my car wouldnt start yesterday :/ Then on my way into work I spilled water all over myself. Then today has been ordeal after ordeal and I am MAD. Im not even sure I need a reason anymore.
        Please pray for me that this season of anger will pass and things will get back to normal soon.


               Also I have done something to my lower back so please pray that it will heal quickly. ( Think I just pulled something while lifting a heavy item)


              If I have been mean or crabby to you lately I apologize and can seriously say " Its not you, Its me".

Have a great weekend. I am just hoping for a "happy" one :)

      

My husband is awesome!!!!

   Have I said lately how awesome my husband is??
    Look what I came home to after my week in Montana. . . . . .    

             Blue velvet anyone?

The cake was awesome, but there was something a little cooler that I came home too.

            My very own car!!!!                             Its a   VW 2002 :).           Have I said lately how awesome my husband is ?????

Surprise! They got me!!! :)

       It was a awesome church service yesterday. I visited with my Canyon Baptist family for Sunday school and then enjoyed a spirit filled service at Hungry Horse Chapel followed by a surprise party that night. ( That I had absolutely no idea about!)

 There were balloons

 There were streamers

There was cake
But most importantly there were friends and that was the BEST part!!!!!!!
 What an amazing day Sunday was!!!!! God has been so good to me and I am thankful for all my amazing friends in Hungry Horse, Montana,  and every second I got to spend with them this week.

Closure to a chapter. . . . .

   Although this trip has been wonderful. . . . I miss home. There I said it and can't even believe I'm saying it.
    This trip has brought closure and I don't mean that in a bad way. It has just reaffirmed that Tennessee is where I am suppose to be. Honestly I dreaded coming a tiny bit because I have moved past the depression and dark days I had when we first moved back and the fear of visiting and going back home to enter back into that scared me, but the exact opposite has happened. Not that I am some saint or hero or that im some great person they can't make it without, but I see now that they are doing just fine without me. Not that they don't miss me or that I don't miss them but I see that life has went on and were all ok.
 Of course I will always miss them

     And I will always be back for visits but I finally found closure to this chapter and after 7 months can move forward with life in Tennesse.
  This has been the most amazing trip ever

My birthday surprise. . . .

         Can i just say that my parents are amazing. I told my mom i really wanted to go to Montana and surprise my friend Mandi. My moms response was "when"? I said it would be awesome if i could for my birthday.(Which at the time was only a few weeks away) My mom said "Lets do it!"                                                             My mom and I began planning a few weeks ago but when I unexpectedly got a job interview our trip hung in limbo. However I now know that my employers are awesome and when I told them about my plans they were not only supportive but excited for me!          
     So my parents bought the plane tickets and we made all our plans and last night after 7 long months apart we were reunited and my birthday wish came true :)

Hello Honda

           Today Jeremy and I traded our Chevy Malibu for this Honda Civic. . . .

        It will be a lower payment and much better on gas. Now we will be in a better place to start saving for me a car.

       We are so thankful for simple blessings like these. God is way too good to us!!!!!

6 years ago today . . . . . .

     Six years ago today the man of my dreams asked me to be his wife!!!!

(Sorry the picture is so bad had to take a picture of a picture because the sd card with our engagement pictures on it is lost :/ )

I had no idea six years ago what our lives would be like and although not exactly the lives we had planned for our future. We are thankful for the life God has given us. The road hasn't always been easy, but God has always been there. 

Thank you sweet Husband for believing  that I was the woman you never wanted to live without. Thank you for picking out my ring yourself (by my request) and for making me the happiest woman in the world. Thank you for sticking by your choice through the good days and bad. Thank you for being my husband, my provider, my safe place, and most of all my friend <3

Matt Redman: Never Once - Official Lyric Video

My life anthem.

This song is seriously my life anthem. Lets give God control!!!

Valentines Day 2014

                Do you ever have that moment where your like "Wow my hubby really gets me"! I did last night when I received this

 Scary movies and smell good stuff may not be your thing and your wondering where are the flowers and chocolate, but these are my favorite things and thats why I can say Jeremy really gets me!! :)
            

 If your single this Valentines Day do not be discouraged God has a plan for you. If you have your valentine spend sometime showing them what they mean to you everyday not just on Valentines Day.

Happy Valentines Day Everyone!!!!

Hello Everyone :)

          Hey guys since its a snow day I have been working on my blog and am asking for suggestions and opinions. So please please please if your reading this comment below. I have worked on the comment options and hope that now it will allow you to comment ( so if no one comments im gonna assume its not working) so please help me find out if its allowing you to comment now.


What is something you would like to see change about the blog. . . Is the text readable? would you like to see it plainer? Bolder? Are the colors where you can see and read all text?

Theres a few question to get you started. Thanks so much!!!!
Hope to hear from you soon :)

As one chapter ends . . . . . .

        As most everyone knows I got a job and so I will not be babysitting anymore. It makes me sad to see this journey end, but I know its time to venture onto other avenues.

I was blessed to watch Him go from this sweet baby.

To this giggly boy.

          I will always cherish every moment I spent with this handsome little man!! Please be in prayer for his family that they will find the right person to be his sitter, and for it all to work out for Gods purpose and glory.

Winter Wonderland 2/12/2014

              So today the snow begin to fall and it was so beautiful.  I have always loved snow, but after living in Montana my love for it went though the roof. I LOVE snow!!!!! When it snows I feel so much closer to those I love in Montana. As the flakes softly fall and pile up on the ground I go back to all the good times and memories and I can literally feel the love.

     So this afternoon I was so excited that the ground was pretty and white, but when I opened the door tonight and saw the ground covered and more falling I was completely overjoyed.

   I think its no coincidence that we have had so much more snow this year in Tn. I believe that God blesses those who love Him and I believe all this snow is a blessing He has been sending me. I am so thankful for each tiny flake because it has filled my heart with love and my mind with happy memories.

Stay warm and Safe <3