Exactly how Im feeling !!! LOVE this song!!

I didnt know

                   I cannot put into words what I felt when I rode away from a life I had always known and a family who is so close. I can't explain what it felt like riding to Montana not knowing what it was gonna be like or even if I would like it. I had no clue what was to come. I didnt know that I was about to experience the most amazing two years of my life. I didnt realize that it would strengthen and bring new depths to my marriage. I wasnt prepared for what was coming I didnt know I was about to gain another family that I would have so many amazing friends. I prayed and asked God to bless our life in Montana, but I didnt deserve all this. I asked Him to be our provider and He went above and beyond my wildest dreams. I asked Him to give us comfort and their was not a day in those first few weeks that I didnt feel His arms around me. I also prayed a prayer that I have prayed nonstop for 5 years now. Sometimes God answers our prayers, but not the way we want. Sometimes He gives us what We need instead. God sees our future and knows what is best. So when I prayed for God to bless Jeremy and I with a child to love and care for

He did!

    God didnt give me my own, but He answered just what I asked. I started babysitting Alayah in May of 2012 and Jeremy and I have loved and cared for her ever since. I cannot explain to you what she means to us, or how She has made our lives so much better. I never knew I could love a baby that wasnt my own so much. I could never explain all the joy she has brought to mine and Jeremys life. Everyday was a adventure and we are so thankful God answered our prayers the way He did.

  Now as most everyone knows God is calling us back to Athens, Tennessee. I should be thrilled. This should be the happiest time of my life, and I am happy dont get me wrong. At the same time my heart is broken. I feel so crushed God blessed us with this beautiful gift and now He wants us to leave her. We love our lives in Montana. We have so many friends and its just unimaginable that God would call us away from a life He blessed us with. Then I am reminded that I have felt this way before. I remember the pain and the heartache, the fear, and the questions. I felt this way about coming to Montana two years ago. This time I trust God more although it hurts I know He has a plan and its for our good. After all look how well things worked out for us here in Montana. Although I cannot even fathom the goodbyes we will say in just a few short days I have hope for my future because I know God has a plan. Instead of being upset We chose to thank God for the two years He allowed us to be in Hungry Horse, Montana. We thank Him for the friendships that will last a lifetime. We thank Him for the memories We will always hold close to our heart. We thank Him for Alayah and for answering our prayers the way He did. 

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

    where does my help come from?

2 

My help comes from the Lord,

    the Maker of heaven and earth.

Silly Saturday #20

   I know this is a day early but while I have the energy and time to write I figured I better go ahead!!  This goes out to all mothers!!!

    Dear Moms,
           This week I found a new respect for you that I must be honest I have never had before. I didnt know how hard and challenging your job is. Yes its rewarding and worth every moment, but lets not pretend its easy. I have been babysitting Alayah who is 21 months old since she was about 8 months old, but this week I faced new challenges and obstacles. This week I took Alayah to Wow Week ( Vacation Bible School) everyday.  The last day of Wow Week the kids who have attended 3 out of the 4 days get to go to the water park. I went last year, but not with a baby. I made sure I had her diaper bag, snack bag, and sippy cup ( Her mom had packed) I made sure her sunscreen,  little swimmer diapers, and swim suit was in her diaper bag. I made sure I had towels for her, me and Jeremy. I made sure she had on her shoes and had on a clean diaper and this was all around 9AM. So we headed to the school . I unstrapped her car seat and proceeded to waddle across the street with everything in my arms and her by my side trying to jerk her hand out of mine. We made it safely into the school. I thought we were leaving when Wow Week started at 10 for the water park so I had brought Alayah to /school in her pjs. I didnt want to change her into her swimmer diaper too early plus I wanted to put her sun screen on right before I put her swim suit on. We got to the school and found out that we were actually not leaving until closer to 11 so poor thing had on her long sleeve pjs while everyone else was in tank tops and shorts :/ bad call on my part, but anyway. We found out who we were riding with so I took /Alayahs car seat and put it in that persons car ( Jeremy had to drive a van) meanwhile someone was watching her for me, but she screamed and cried as she watched me  out the window thinking I was leaving her. I came back in and asked when I should get her changed and sun screened up. I was told I had plenty of time, but then someone came to me and said hey we need to leave right now. Ha! So I hurried Alayah down to a empty class room ( the bathrooms have no changing tables :( This is a big problem!!!) I shut the door so everyone wouldnt stare in as they walked by and /I changed Alayah and put sun screen on her and put her swim suit on. What felt like forever later We came out and headed for the water park. Alayah was so excited we headed for the kiddie pool. The water in the highest part is just about to Alayahs waist. I like a dummy assumed she would hold my hand. She indeed had no intentions of that. So I followed along behind her and sure enough before long she tripped and I was snatching her up out of the water. Scared me, but she just coughed for a minute then was ready to play again. By the time afternoon came she was so whiny because it was way past her nap time. I took her into the changing area to put on dry clothes I got her changed then laid her on the bench while I changed and turned around to find her fast asleep. Now She is curled up sleeping on the couch and /im wishing I were too. I am exhausted after one day I cannot imagine how Moms do this daily!!  Not to mention Moms who have more than one child!! I guess its that rewarding smile or giggle that gets you through, but I just wanna say to all the moms out there you are amazing I have so much respect and admiration for you.. God Bless You!!!!!

Although a challenging week I am thankful to have gotten to spend this week with Alayah. It has been a tiring  week but a  great week :) at the same time.

Soaking it all in :)

            Wow Week is in full swing and the kids are having a great time. In the pre K class we have been having around 17. So I volunteered to take a few of the little guys to help out. So 2 years and under go with me. Although I cant share pictures I assure you I have a bunch and they are heart warming. Today We painted!!!!

  Everyday the kids have taken naps which has made for a much happier afternoon!!!! I am loving every moment with the precious kiddos and am thankful God has allowed me to be here for my second wow week in Hungry Horse, Montana.



Not much else going on this week just staying very busy. We apologize to everyone who keeps Alayah in advance  it seems these last two weeks we have taken everyone elses time with her, but we are just trying to utilize every second with her and make lots of happy memories!!!

About to paint at Wow Week!!!!

Seems like Yesterday!!!

           6 Years ago today Jeremy and I went on our first date. I had no idea I would fall head over heels for a guy I had known my entire life!!! Our relationship was rocky but our love was real, and despite many peoples opinions we got married 10 months later. In April we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. We might have had a rough beginning, but We finally got our happily ever after!!! 

We were only dating in this photo! Look how young we look! Not sure why I dont have one of us in the same picture but we are side by side in these.

Night before my wedding!!! Glad I didnt smile like this haha!

Silly Saturday #19

      Random picture day!!!!

Hiking Avalanche 

Baptism at Beyond Borders for Christ!

Redneck yard photo

Being silly

So true!! But very hard not to be afraid!

WHY??!!!!

      Why?!   Almost two years ago I was asking God the same question. See Jeremy and I had a good life. We had a beautiful house, pets we loved, surrounded by family, and a awesome church family, and yet God was telling us to leave it all. So July (2011) I told my family goodbye and left a life I loved and had always known. I wont lie I asked why?! ALOT. I cried ALOT. I didnt understand my heart was broken and no matter how great Montana was it would never be home.


           Two years later and I am broken. My heart aches and I am asking Why?! With only a few weeks left I can feel the knife in my heart sinking deeper and deeper. I love my life in Montana and it has became home.  I dont wanna start over. I dont wanna leave. I cry ALOT and my heart is heavy. I dont wanna say goodbye  I dont wanna leave another home.


            I know God has a plan and I know that if we hadnt listened in the first place we would have never known the beauty and wonder of our two years in Montana. So all I can hold onto is that something beautiful is ahead. A new life that will bring happiness and please God.

         Its human nature to ask why and to not understand Gods plan, but we have to trust Him with our lives even when it hurts and even when its hard. Please continue to pray for Jeremy and I as we try to make the most of our last few weeks in Montana and as we transition to life in Tennessee.




I couldnt have said it better myself!!

Surprise......We have the best friends ever!!!!!!

           So I have been helping my friend Dixie invite everyone to a surprise dinner we were having  for Lee and Joy today (sunday the 16th) after church. I was sneaking around behind Lee and Joys back and inviting everyone and surprise the party was for me and Jeremy too!!! Lee and Joy thought it was for us and We thought it was for them!!! It was a great surprise and we are thankful for everyone who came!!! We are very very thankful Dixie has such a servants heart and threw the party for ALL of us!!!

This is the cake Dixie made for Jeremy and I. Since We came to Canyon Baptist to be the worship leaders the cake is a music note!!!

Happy Fathers Day!!!!!!

He never looks for praises
He's never one to boast
He just goes on quietly working
For those he loves the most
His dreams are seldom spoken
His wants are very few
And most of the time his worries
Will go unspoken too
He's there.... A firm foundation
Through all my storms of life
A sturdy hand to hold to
In times of stress and strife
A true friend I can turn to
When times are good or bad
One of my greatest blessings,
The man that I call Dad.

                                               Karen K. Boyer

              

Silly Saturday #18

    Yes I know its friday, but I have plans tomorrow and am not sure if I will have time to get to my computer. Tomorrow Jeremy and I are going to the park ( Glacier National Park). We have never been alone and decided some quiet time together would be nice.  My parents just left yesterday and We had a awesome week!! It was so much fun to have them here and show them around.

     Today I have plans with a friend and so does Jeremy and since its only a few weeks from our moving day we know that some quiet time together in the park will do us alot of good. We are filled with so many mixed emotions especially since this coming us Wednesday is our last Beyond Borders for Christ :(!!  We are nervous, excited, and anxious about our new life and we are sad,broken hearted, and dreading leaving our life here in Montana, but we know that our God is working things out for our good and that He has a plan for us. We are clinging to those promises!! Thank you for your prayers during our time of transition and please keep them coming.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Silly Saturday #17

    For two years I prayed and waited ( Patiently......ok no I just waited)  And finally after two long years ....... MY PARENTS ARE COMING TO MONTANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I had no idea I could be this excited!!!!! Finally my stories will have a picture to go with them. Finally they will get to see all the ministries I have told them so much about. I cannot wait to show them what I have been doing and where I have been for the last two years.  I am so thankful my prayer has finally been answered. Gods timing is perfect!!

 God is good. 

 Speaking of that here is a cute video of Alayah for all you who dont have facebook and havent seen it yet.  She is 21 months old now and  learning to talk and it is awesome to hear her learn new words. She is one smart girl!! We are taking lots of pictures and videos and enjoying our last few weeks with her. We could spend this time being sad, but instead we are thanking God for the past year we have had with her. :) And we will definitely be back for visits....ASAP :)

Psalm 37:4

            As we have begun cleaning out drawers and things in the apartment we are finding all sorts of interesting things.  Nothing could have prepared me for what I read in  this letter I wrote to Jeremy back in August  ( 2012) when I was in Tennessee.  Keep in mind We had no idea at this time that God would be calling us back to Tn.

Take delight in the LORD 

and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

Silly Saturday #16

             

A bad attitude!

    Do you ever have a bad attitude?? I do ALOT, but last night was extra bad!!! I was just in a horrible mood, and I was madest because I was mad that I was mad! haha Hope you get what I meant there. Jeremy and I made a promise that no matter how stressed we got about the move we were gonna make these last (6) weeks here the best and not waste a moment worry about things we cant change or control. So I was so mad because I was breaking that promise. Then we get in bed and Jeremy was asking me what was wrong. So of course I began unloading EVERYTHING and finally I said im just so frustrated. You know what He said "The Lord has been way too good to us for us to feel like this"  He put himself in it, but it was mostly me so He really meant " The Lord has been way too good to you for you to feel like this" But thankfully I married a gentleman and He didnt say it so bluntly. He was right and that did snap me out of my bad attitude for the moment. He then reminded me that we only have 3 wednesdays left. So again I promised (myself) that  I was gonna make the most of the rest of our time. After all no time to be sad, frustrated, or anything else negative not when God has placed so much positive around me. :)

   Today is a new day and it might not be a better day then yesterday, but I will have a better attitude!!

A house guest for the weekend and a update on Molly.

      We committed to keep our friends dog ( Conrad) for the weekend. So on friday our house guest arrived and He was not so sure about us, but He warmed up quickly. You know how Molly was always Jeremys favorite and followed him around everywhere and she liked me, but I was clearly not her favorite well.......................................I am finally someones favorite :)

   

  By the way if your wondering about Molly She is doing great. She loves her new home and family and is trying to learn to be more gentle with her new families cat :/. She is adjusting well and we are so thankful to the Downings for giving her a good home.

Silly Saturday #15

          Have we really been enjoying Silly Saturdays for 15 weeks?!  Wow Time  flies!!!! Speaking of time flying the weeks are dwindling down, and it won't be long till were Tn bound. When we first felt God calling us back to TN  I began saving boxes. Our family sends us stuff alot and in December it seemed like UPS was stopping daily. So we have one whole wall in our extra bedroom filled with boxes. So the packing has begun!!! All our winter clothes are packed except for a few hoodies, and jackets.So thankful I left those out since it snowed tuesday night!! Last night I packed all our sliverware, utensils, and dishes. I know what your thinking "What are you gonna eat on, and with?  As most everyone already knows Canyon Baptist Church has not always been a church. Most people have heard it was a bar, but alot leave out that it also use to be a resturant. So upstairs in the church kitchen is a room with all kinds of pots and pans, dishes, and sliverware. So I went up got what we needed for the apartment, and when I had got everything it had not even put a dent in all thats up there!! Another reason I went ahead and did this is because this summer a family is coming to help Canyon Baptist. They will be staying in the apartment so they would have needed all those things anyway. So instead of packing my stuff last minute and leaving the cabniets bare for someone else to worry about. I am ahead and now thats one less worry for me, or anyone else.
            Packing is making things very real. I am overwhelmed with excitement and then boom filled with sadness.  It is not easy so don't be fooled by our smiles or upbeat attitudes. We decided that We want these to be the best weeks ever and we wont let ourselves get overwhelmed with sadness or fear. We asked God to help us, and guess what we are filled with peace!!!! God is good!!!

Packed and ready to go!!

Romans 8:28

            We all have to make decisions that are hard. Jeremy and I had to make a hard decision,but after many sleepless nights and questioning ourselves we both agreed it was for the best. Life can be mean, heartbreaking, and unfair, but when we hand our decisions over to God they can work out for the better and He will give us peace. That is what happened to us this week. As most of you know we planned to take Molly with us to Tn, but as complications with that begin to arise we questioned that decision. So as we wrestled with the question to take her with us or find her a new home we began to pray. Laugh if you want, but God wants us to bring whats on hearts to Him in prayer.  We decided finding her a good loving family was the best option.  This was not an escape route or just something we did without much thought. This has broken our hearts! But in the end we love her enough to do whats best for her. 36 hours in a car is not best. Especially if she has to live in a tiny apartment with no room to run or play. Once the decision was made we began to ask around. I prayed that God would send the right family, possibly one with kids because Molly without a doubt loves kids.

       I asked God to give her a loving family and to give us peace. Within a week our friends Jeremy and Cameron said they would love to give her a loving home. Boy did God answer my prayers!! Molly now has not one child to love her, not two,not three, She has five!! She will be in heaven. Plus she will be right down the road until we leave and we can go see her. Also another great part is Alayahs Mom is friends with Jeremy and Cameron so Alayah will still get to see her friend! Without a doubt God worked all this out and although our hearts are broken God has given us peace. Molly was our everything for the last year and a half and instead of being sad that she will no longer be with us,  We are thankful for the time we had with her.
God answered my prayers and Molly now has another loving family.


And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Mollys new family :) 

Opportunities

   I'll admit that there have been times I have had to ask myself am I moving home for selfish reasons? In the beginning while we were unsure if this was Gods will for our lives we prayed and struggled to see Gods plan for us. I can remember sobbing one night and saying God, I dont wanna be selfish. Help me to think clearly and not selfishly. We prayed and prayed and just felt God moving us toward Tn. I prayed for peace and understanding. God has continually given me both. He has opened the door for opportunity after opportunity. In fact we have so many ministry opportunities awaiting for us in Tn that we are currently praying for direction and which path to choose. I have already commited to a babysitting job that will start at the end of July.  I can see Gods hand in this move. I know He has a purpose and a plan for us. I am thankful for all the opportunities  He is pouring out for us. Through each one I realize more and more that this is His will for our lives and not a selfish decision. I feel so blessed that He has work for us back home where both our families are. God is good!!

Silly Saturday #14

      Wow Wow Wow!!!! Thats all I could say when I stepped onto the scale Friday morning. 130 was my goal when I started my weight loss and when I hit 130 a few weeks ago I was on cloud nine. It felt as though a huge weight had lifted off of me. I got down to 129 and relaxed. I still walked daily and ate healthy, but there was no worry. They say that stress is a huge reason for not seeing weight loss. I must say that is correct because without trying I lost 2 pounds!! I am now 127 and HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!! God is so good and has kept me motivated just like I prayed He would and there is no doubt in my mind that is why I have been successful this time. 

This is the dress I changed into to leave my wedding 5 years ago. It has not fit in along time, but I could not bear to get rid of it. I danced all around the house when I slipped it on to find it is a little loose. :) God is so good!!!!!

Cooks!!

Be a friend!!!

Always live life as if someone is watching and looking up to you. Because even though you think no one is.....they just might be.

Be caring, be a role model, but most of all be a friend!!

Silly Saturday #13