A story of why we should never question God

Dear Baby,
       Let me tell you a story of a dark time in your Mommas life. There was a time when I got really mad at God for not giving me you. I know now how selfish and silly it was. I know that God wanted all my time and energy poured into our ministry work and into the lives of all the kids are Beyond Borders for Christ. I realize all that now, but at the time I was bitter and angry. I am ashamed to admit it, but I really want to share this story with you. When I was in my bitter state of mind I told God ( on more than one occasion) that it was not fair that single woman were having babies left and right and good married woman were struggling with infertility. I know now how wrong this statement is, but I could have never expected how much it would hit home with me much later in life.
           Time went on and I got over the anger and bitterness and We felt the call and moved to Montana. Then this summer We met Mandi and Alayah.  I hope you get to meet them someday baby. They are awesome. Mandi needed a babysitter and I wanted to babysit. We hit it off from the beginning and became great friends. Mandi is a single mom so of course It crossed my mind what I had said a few years ago, but I brushed it off. When it really hit me was when Mandi told me that Alayah saved her life!!! I have not heard her whole testimony yet, but to hear those words my baby saved my life. It really smacked me in the face. It was like God was saying do you still think its not fair that I give single woman babies? God also knew that  would Alayah would come into our lives and steal our hearts. She has helped fill the void and hurt I feel because I want you so badly. See baby God always has a plan. God gave Mandi Alayah because He knew She would turn her life around and its hard to understand but there is a reason your daddy and I didnt poof get pregnant like some people do. There is a reason for this struggle. One day We will understand and for now I have hope that someday it will finally be our time. I know Gods timing is perfect and I trust Him because I know He had a plan that is far greater than ours. I just wanted to share this story with you sweetheart. I love you so much.

Love,
Momma