Life is so busy with its hustle and bustle and everyday chores that must be done. I feel its high time I told you my story so here goes. I hope that one day We look back and laugh at the struggle and heartache it took to get little ol you. Right now when it comes to the subject of you I cant say that there is much laughter. So here goes lets start at the beginnning.
From the time I was a little girl I wanted to be a mother, I love babies!!!! As I grew that never changed and Its crazy to admit, but I thought about you and what you would be like more than I thought about my dream guy or my wedding day. Time went on and nothing changed When I graduated high School and was asked what do you want to be My answer was a mother. So Your daddy and I fell in love and got married and I wanted you. Your Daddy wasn't ready and wanted some me and him time first so We waited. Time went on and one day We didnt really decide yes we want a baby now now now, but We decided it would be ok if you did come along. Months went by and nothing. My worst nightmare was coming true. I went to a nice doctor and found out I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome ) The problem is my sugar is too high and I dont Ovulate. Hearing those words dont ovulate crushed me. So the doctor put me on a pill to make me ovulate and it worked the very first month I ovulated, but your Daddy was still not sure we were ready. I wanted to scream from a rooftop IM READY!!!! WERE READY! But I absolutely love your Daddy So I waited and then Im not sure why but I just felt like why am I paying for these pills every month if were not trying to have a baby. So I went off the pills and it made me very sad, but I had gained something I had renewed my relationship with God and for the first time in along time I trusted Him. So not long after We felt the call to come to Montana and it all began to make sense why God hadnt blessed us with a baby.
Now Here We are almost 2 years later and We are ready. We want you. I always wanted you, but your Daddy is sure now too. I cannot express to you the joy I feel when I think of you. We are getting healthy and losing weight and I really hope my PCOS takes care of itself, but am considering going back on the pill when We move home. I trust God completely, but I also know that God blesses doctors with understanding so that might be the route we go.
I cannot tell you how long it will be before I hold you in my arms or even when I will see two lines on a pregnancy test, but I do know that God will see us through. Every trial, Every failed attempt He will be there and He will also be smiling down one day when a doctor hands you to me. I could burst when I think of that moment, the moment I have waited for my entire life. God has a plan and He knows when the right time is and We are trusting Him baby even when its hard. You will be worth it all.
I love you so very much,
Momma
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