Hey Steph, Do You Remember???

                 God has really been showing me lately how truly blessed I am. Lately I have been looking at things around me and remembering how not so long ago the situation was very different. Nothing is better than being able to stand back and watch growth in a ministry your a part of. Its like God has being saying Hey Steph, do You Remember??? And then all these memories flood into my mind. I decided I had to blog because I never wanna forget where God has brought me from.
                  First off let me say That God answers prayers although not usually how we think He should. Its amazing to think back to a time you prayed about something so desperately and then later look back at how God answered that prayer, but you didnt even realized because you were too busy wanting things your way. Always remember We see the here and now, But God see the whole picture after all He holds our future in His hands.
                This weekend We had a Ladies Retreat. It was awesome ( as always). Our bible study topic was Marriage/Husbands. The book We used is "The Power of a Praying Wife".  We had so much good discussion because We each have a different story to tell and God brought back so many memories that I hadnt thought about in awhile.
              Jeremy and I were married in April I had just turned 19 in February.  Do not take this wrong I was So completely in love with Jeremy and still am. However I was a baby. I had a VERY hard time adjusting to married life. It did not help that after We got married Jeremy stopped having any interest in church. I was lost and confused and sunk into a depression. Somedays all I wanted was to disappear. My dreams of what I thought marriage would be were not how it really was. As I clung to God and drew closer to Him it was as if Jeremy went further way. I was praying constantly Some days my prayers were just sobs because I couldnt even find words. My point is prayer works!!!!!!!!! Now 4 years later We are missionaries in Hungry Horse, Montana. I am not bragging I am just amazed at God and His awesomeness!!  
              Here is another amazing Story I was reminded of and shared at Ladies Retreat. When Jeremy and I felt God calling us to Montana We had some credit card debt. We knew We were suppose to go, but there was no way We could afford to. We prayed and prayed, but it was just impossible nothing was happening. We thought ok we will just wait till we get it paid off, but God would not stop He kept telling us to go. So After more and more prayer We knew what We had to do. We HAD to GO. So Before We left We had a going away party. Friends and Family came and when the night was over We gathered up all the cards everyone had left us and began counting the money that was in them. We were astonished! To the cent the exact amount of our credit card debt. Now if We hadnt stepped out to go We would have never had the party. God wanted us to trust him as our provider. Its easy to say you trust God but actually doing it is very hard.
               I cannot even explain how much God has changed me since being here in Montana. I finally feel like I am getting closer to the women He has always wanted me to be. Yes, I sin daily that will never change because i'm only human, but I try my best to live for God and do what He has called me to do. He has changed me drastically just in the year and a half I have been in Montana. I have heard it preached all my life that We are the body and We all have a gift and a purpose, but I never knew mine. Although I still dont completely I know I have a job to do even if its just assisting someone else with their ministry. I am amazed at the growth in me as a wife, friend, and christian. I am not bragging Im praising God for yet another blessing.
            Everyone who knows me knows I cannot wait to be a mother. I cannot even fathom the love you feel when a doctor hands you your baby for the first time, or the feeling you get when your called Momma for the first time. This has been a major struggle for me. I cannot even begin to explain to you the emotions I have felt when God didnt just poof let me get pregnant. I will admit I stayed mad at him for along time because of this. I prayed and when I couldnt pray I sobbed. I begged for a baby. Finally one day I realized God had more for me to do before I became a mother. When We started feeling the call to Montana I begin to understand a little better why We werent packing up a baby to go with us. The truth is God had saved me and my family a ton of heartache. Can you imagine how mine and Jeremys parents would have felt seeing there grandbaby move over 2000 miles away from them. Dont get me wrong I mean no disrespect for those who live far away from their families. In fact I think your amazing and incredibly strong. I am thankful though and understand why God didnt allow us to have a family yet. Dont get me wrong I still wanna be a mother more than anything and can not wait for the day I look into my childs eyes, But I can say God is a on time God and really mean it now. Also my prayers are different although I still pray that someday Jeremy and I will have a baby of our own I pray that God have His will in our lives and that in His time We have the family He wants to give us. I had a friend tell me (when I was depressed and stressed and all kinds of other emotions because I wanted a baby) instead of being sad spend your time pouring your love into the children God has placed around you, and You would not believe how those words have changed my life. I never knew I could love children that arent mine the way I love these lil guys.
           Which brings me to something else that God is allowing me to do that has completely changed my life. Beyond Borders for Christ was doing great and really growing. We had a meeting with all those who help and it was brought up that another class was really needed. The need was for a younger class  The youngest class We had was pre K-1st grade. A younger class was not provided for several reasons one is some might bring little bitty kids and next thing you know were a daycare and another reason was they barely had enough help for the classes they had. The thing was two of the workers at Beyond Borders for Christ had young children who werent old enough for the youngest class. I knew immediately God was whispering This is for you Steph. So next the thing I knew I had my own class for 3 and under. I started out with the two workers children who are both 3. It was great. Since they were both girls after our lesson We would make necklaces and all kinds of girly stuff. Then boom one wednesday Here sit a little boy in my class ( he is 3 also). I had to improvise that night on my craft. I was excited to see it grow, but God didnt stop there I have had up to 6 kiddos in my class ( the average is normally 4) and whats even crazier is everyone of them are 3 years old!! I think its a huge blessing that they are all the same age. My nights with them were hectic and alot of them even frustrating. I will admit I have came home and just sat down and had a good cry before. I knew I needed a helper, but the ones willing already were in other classes. Well Praise the Lord the last few weeks I have had 2 helpers!! Each of them said How in the world did you do this alone?! My answer is im not sure really haha. I can see all sorts of growth in each child since We started this class. Here is a cool example .... One little boy in my class Todd  Started out in Joys class with his brother Heath. He was wild and Joy asked if He could come in my room ( not long after We discovered He was only 3 so he belonged in my room anyway) of course I said yes. I would literally have to pick Todd up and carry him out of Joys room as He screamed and cried for his brother. Once We got to our room He would cry some more and through out the night He would calm down and then the least little thing and He would be crying for his brother and to go to the other class. I pressed onward and just loved Todd through it all. Months have went by since all this and a few weeks ago We went into Joys room with her class and had a puppet show ( More about that ministry in a minute) After a while Todd came up to me and said Miss Stephanie Can We go to our room now?? You can imagine the big smile on my face when I told him we were going in just a few minutes. Another night only one little girl Chloe came. Sometimes when numbers are low We get to feeling sorry for ourselves and I started to just let her play, but God said Teach the lesson you had planned. So I did. I worked and worked that night with Chloe on a memory verse. God will always love me. Cant remember where it was in the bible except in Psalms. Months went by and one day Chloes grandma came in my room and said last sunday in sunday school at church Chloe was asked to say her memory verse from last week guess what she said. I said I dont know what? I almost cried when she said God will always Love me! She said just thought you might need to hear that. You are getting through to them even when it may not feel like it. Im so glad I went ahead and taught the lesson that night. I have seen so much growth in my class and although they are just babies I know im planting seeds and I hope I am around someday to see them blossom.
               A few months ago God said start a puppet ministry. My responds was huh? You want me to do what? How? When? I am already overwhelmed with all im doing now, but God kept telling me and giving me vision to start a puppet ministry. So I did. You can read how it got started and everything here and you can actually watch a video of them here. The growth I already see in this ministry is unreal. I have a awesome team doing the puppets every week and am so grateful for each of them. I couldnt understand at first why God wanted me to add more to my already overflowing plate, but I am beginning to understand. As I continue to pray for guidance and direction I sense that its not completely mine. I honestly feel that God had me start this ministry because I had the connection to Athens, Tn which is where the church is that donated the puppets. My role in it now is to find someone to take it over. Read more about that here. I have no doubt that God already has someone in mind and could possible already be calling them to this ministry. Isn't God amazing the way He works thing out. Like I already said He has the whole picture! A few weeks ago during the puppets the kids were giggling and so excited and it was like God whispered Hey Steph, Remember when this was just a idea? when you were saying no I already have too much to do?  Man God knows how to get to us. I am so glad God got through to me and I listened to Him because the puppet ministry is already a HUGE success and blessing.
         Wow so this has turned into a long post! God has just had all this on my mind lately. I think He really wants me to look around and see the growth and good in all the ministries I am lucky to be apart of. Its wonderful to see how far they have come. Of course I have tons more stories and I know there will be tons more stories to come. Our God is so amazing I am glad  He can see the whole picture and that I can trust Him.




***** The names of the kids have been changed Just a precaution*****