"I cant believe your here."

    One week ago we walked into Knoxville airport as a family of three. We were greeted by family,friends, signs, and balloons. The airport was filled with cheers and claps as we walked in. It was so awesome to have a big turn out for Connors arrival!!
   We spent our first week at home as a family of three. We snuggled, we played, and we bonded. I will forever be grateful for this first week and all our friends and family who understood and even if they didn't gave us our time and space. We believe this first week was extremely important and gave us a deeper bond with our son.
   Things are going great. Connor had exceeded all our expectations and is doing wonderful. Connor sleeps through the night and seems to be adjusting well to our time zone after only one week. He knows who Mama and Daddy are and seeks us for comfort. He has eaten well for us from day one and is even getting the hang of our big potty (they had children's  size ones in the orphanage.)
   This child is so amazing And has bounced back so fast from his life doing a complete 180.
   I have had so many ask why we can't show his face so I'll explain here too. Hong Kong does there adoption process a little different. We traveled to Hong Kong and met and brought our son home. However Connor is still a ward of the social welfare department of Hong Kong. We signed paperwork stating that they were giving him over to our care, yet he is still theirs. We finalize after being home for 6 months. So sometime in July we will go to court and Our little guy will officially become Connor Thaddeus Malone. Until then we can't share photos, which stinks but its the rules and we do not want to do anything to get into trouble.
   When we met Connor, he literally took my breath away. No picture can do justice to this tiny miracle anyway so if your friends and family reading this feel free to give me a call and come see this cutie in person.
   We just want to thank everyone who helped us through this incredible journey to finally bringing Connor home. Thank you for your donations, prayers, and well wishes. Please continue to pray for Connor as he will be seeing lots of new people and places these next few weeks and it will be overwhelming. Pray for peace and for him to find comfort in those who love him.
  I whisper this almost every night when I put him to bed and its still how I feel. I am still in shock that my dreams have finally come true. That after 7 and 1/2 years crying out for a baby, God has answered our prayers!

Connor Thaddeus, " I can't believe your here."

One week ago....

One week ago we carried Connor out of the orphanage and began life as a family of three. I could say that this was the first time he has been loved or had a family but that would be  complete lie. All the caregivers and volunteers were his family and oh the love he felt from them I cannot even describe it to you!!! I cant even begin to tell you  all the amazing things they have done for Connor or us!!! Somedays I feel guilty for taking him from them and there love and what he knew as home. I know that seems so ridiculous to those who have not been through it, but I believe alot of adoptive parents go through this. Especially when seeing their child grieve the loss of their previous life. However I know He will have a good life now also, with a family who is crazy about him and that's what all the workers and volunteers wanted for their sweet "Tim Tim". I have already sent them a update and photos and will continue to throughout his life after all he was their baby before he was mine.
   Connor experienced his first snow. He was not impressed and immediately went back to the door and tried getting back in the house!
Connor continues to get more and more comfortable with us.
The only time he cries or gets upset is when he is tired, which happens alot with the 13 hour time difference. I know he will get the hang of it eventually and their will be alot less tears.
Connors favorite thing is bath time. He splashes and yells. Oh the amount of water in the bathroom floor afterwards, but those giggles And that smile are worth it.
Connor loves to eat and is always eager for mealtime, although it's very messy he is extremely good at feeding himself. We encourage him to feed himself alot not because we do not want to help him but because it helps his hand eye coordination. We are always looking for fun ways to squeeze in PT, OT, and ST.
We love this little boy so much and know that God sure knew what He was doing when He placed his child study into our laps and said "this is him." I still remember the first time I realized that He was my baby. It's amazing  the things God will reveal when we seek him and say not my will but thine be done. If we had continued to be stubborn and go our way we would have missed out on this incredible child. And oh the love and joy we would have never known.

Connor, I love being your mother. Everyday is a adventure and I'm so glad your my tour guide. Mama loves you so much!!!!

Home 3 days

Hey guys sorry it's been a few days since my last update.  Im super busy!!!! Our travel home went so perfect!! Connor was a little angel in the plane ride. He slept our whole 11 hour flight which was the one we were most worried about. He played happily on the other flights. We know it wasn't luck, it was because so many were praying for us!!
We were greeted home by cheers, balloons, and welcome home signs. It was amazing to see so many friends and family come out to celebrate the arrival of our baby boy. There were tears and tons of smiles as we carried Connor through the airport. God is good!!!
  Connor arrived home and played happily with Mama and Daddy in his room. He explored the house and all his toys. Connor sleeps great but its still on HK time. However last night he slept all night for the first time and we are excited and hopeful that we can keep him on this sleep schedule and start getting into our routine.
Connor has changed our world and we are still in shock that he is here and doing so well. Please continue to pray for him and his attachment to us and for things to continue in the right direction

Prayer changes everything

Oh what a difference your prayers can make. Connor decided that he was a daddy's boy and while mommy is cool with that. What hurt is along with that He decided that he wanted nothing to do with me at all. He cried if I tried to hold him and refused to let me do anything for him. I immediately began praying (through sobs while locked in the bathroom) I emailed, facebooked, and tweeted asking everyone to pray.  Our prayers were heard by the Master!!!!
   Yesterday when Connor woke from a nap and began to cry I asked Jeremy to allow me to try and get him. I picked him up and swayed and sang to him while looking out our hotel window over looking the buildings outside. His cries stopped and he laid his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me. From that moment  on he loves Mommy too!!! Oh the relief it brings and how much sweeter it is now when he wraps those tiny arms around me!!!

   Yesterday was our first day as a family, Connor was discharged from the orphanage. Much to our surprise he gave hugs, kisses, and waved bye. No tears except from the workers and some from Mommy. Again I have absolutely no doubt it was because so many were lifting our little guy in prayer. It would have upset the workers so deeply to see him cry and be upset. Once at the hotel Connor began to weep and it was heart breaking to know the great loss that he had no idea would come in the following days. Although we will love him and he will love us and he will have a awesome life, he will still never get this life back and he will mourn the loss of it and all those he loves here.
  Connor is doing exceptionally well considering and we ask you to please continue to lift him up, especially tonight as we begin to pack up all our things and he will know something is up and it will make him even more anxious. We ask that you lift him up as we travel over 20 hours tomorrow. Pray that God would give him peace and Jeremy and I to be able to comfort him the best that we can.
   Thank you for your continued prayers!!!

One step forward thirty back

Today we were suppose to have a day outing with Connor, but today had a mind of its own and turned out to be a no good very bad day. Everything was fine until we were walking out of the orphanage and Connor began panicking. He cried continuously for two hours and we were unable to go. During this time He began showing attachment to Jeremy and not me. This is very typical. I have read a million books about it and prepared myself that it was a possibility. However nothing could have ever really prepared me and I would be lying if I said my heart wasn't broken into a million tiny peaces. In the mist of that I am also grateful that Connor is going to have a awesome relationship with Jeremy and I know he will with me too, eventually.
We went to the park this afternoon with all the other children and workers and things were better. Connor played and had a good time.
This evening we signed papers with a member of the adoption unit and Connor became officially in our custody tonight. This is a exciting moment and we are very relieved.
Tomorrow Connor will be discharged from the orphanage and will come with us to the hotel for the remainder of our time in HK until we all fly home. What was was an anticipated day is now a day we are kinda dreading because it seems that it will more than likely be  replay of today only so much worse because we are indeed leaving and not returning.
  Please remember tomorrow in prayer and pray that He would attach to both of us quickly and equally. Pray for our hearts and that we could be strong because when his world is breaking apart we cannot allow seeing or experiencing that to break us as well.

On a different note check out all Connor will be bringing home with him!

Told ya my boy is extremely loved by all those at Mother Choice.
Pray for all the caregivers tomorrow as well.

Connors farewell party

Last night was Connors farewell party at Mother Choice Orphanage. It was a time solely about him. There's was decorations, food, a cake, and so much love!! A video was put together of photos of Connor since coming to the orphanage and videos of him crawling, playing, and the first time He stood on his own. You could see his growth and accomplishments through the video and it is so awesome that we will have it to know that although we missed so many important milestones he was in great hands. Connor was showered with love and gifts. Some of the caregivers wrote him letters that I will read to him when he is older. It was amazing to see just how much He is loved. Connors foster mother came and even spoke at the end about how happy she was that He has finally found his family. It was very emotional for everyone. I will be eternally grateful for the time, patience, and love that  they poured into my son for two years. Without them and their therapies and hard work I have no doubt that I would be looking at a completely different boy today.
   Connor can pull up his pants and take off his diaper, use the potty when taken, eat unassisted, use some sign language, blow kisses and wave when asked to. These are just the tip of the iceberg of things they have taught him that blew Mommys mind.
    He is a very smart baby, but without them guiding him and loving him He would not have blossomed into the incredibly toddler standing in front of me today. 

Jet lag didn't matter.

I'm exhausted like literally to the point of feeling sick. It's unlike anything I have every experienced this horrible thing called jet lag but today none of that mattered.

   From the moment I saw him everything else faded. I don't even have words that can do justice to describe it but my heart literally walks around outside my body now. This is love on a whole new level. Of course I may be bias but he is the absolute cutest thing I have ever seen and I cannot wait to bring him home so I can prove that statement is completely true.
   Continue to pray for our attachment and his caregiver who has been with him every single day for two years. Also for all the workers as they all are attached and love him very much.

Whirlwind

It's hasn't even sunk in that we will be meeting our son tomorrow. I've prepared, planned, and dreamed of this day for 21 months, there were times I felt it would never come. It always seemed like so far out in the future and then bam were in Hong Kong. We were walking down the streets of Hong Kong today just exploring and I looked over at Jeremy and said are we really here, is this really happening?? We were matched with Connor in July so for 6 months we begged God to bring him home. We prayed over him specifically daily. Yet somehow getting to this step seemed to come so fast. I feel like we're in a whirlwind and I'm just trying to catch up. I'm sure I will look back at this one day and laugh at the sleep deprived crazy lady who was speaking. This time difference really is whipping my butt and maybe it's also being in a different country which is a whole new experience for me. I'm not sure but everything now seems to be on fast forward and I can't catch up.
    However we love Hong Kong and had a great first day, we look forward to things slowing down a bit. If that's even possible with a toddler. It just hasn't hit me yet that our sweet boy will be going home with us. I have envisioned it a million times and yet now that it's here I can't fathom it. I am thrilled and beyond excited and yet my body feels so tired and exhausted that I don't feel much emotion at all. It's such a crazy thing. Anyway ask me tomorrow how not feeling any emotion went, (because I know when I see that little face I will be overcome with emotion:))

Hong Kong zoological center and botanical gardens.

We had a blast today at the Hong Kong zoological center and botanical gardens. It is right outside our hotel and had lots of animals and even a playground. Definitely somewhere we want to go back to before we leave and hopefully we can take Connor.

Hello Hong Kong

It's 5:30am Hong Kong time and we have been awake since 3am this 13 hour time difference is killer! I'm sure we will get use to it about the time for us to come home. I wanna write about everything now because once I meet him I know all focus will change and I'll forget all the tiny details about our trip here because nothing else will matter but him! So here goes.
We flew to Dallas Ft Worth Texas it was around a 3 hour flight it was pretty uneventful. Next we flew from Texas to Hong Kong a whooping 17 hour flight! However our awesome pilot got us there in 16. It was rough! The people around us were so nice but man we were in the middle row which is 4 seats and we were in the middle two. You could not even move! This is not a fat joke, everyone was average size and it was awful! Oh man I never wanna have a straight flight like that again. Again don't get me wrong the actual flight was great didn't hit much turbulence and the stewardious were awesome. We were served lunch and dinner and two snacks. That part was great!! We however are very very thankful that on the way home we have a extra layover and our longest flight will be 11 hours , still gonna be rough with a toddler but were grateful its not 17 hours!!! Our hotel is very nice and very close to the orphanage.  We are a lot less nervous now that we're here and settled, now we're just super anxious to meet our little guy. We will meet him tomorrow morning. We have visits with his therapist and caregivers throughout the week so we can learn as much as we can about him. Please pray that we will soak in all the info and get up to date on everything cause its gonna go super fast.
  Some of you know I have been sick. My cough started on the long plane ride of course and I literally coughed the whole time! Please pray that I could get well and that Connor will not get sick.
Please pray for our first meeting with Connor. Pray for it to go well and that we can form attachment quickly.
I will definitely keep everyone updated!

This is literally the size of our room and its the deluxe room.

View from our room (been up over 24 hours)

Give us a week.

Adoption is hard. We see our side and know first hand the difficulties we have faced but think about the child. These strangers come in and take you away from everyone you love the most , and although we know he is in an orphanage to him it is home. Then we get on a crowded airplane and his ears hurts and  he is tired. I feel overwhelmed for him. We want our family  and friends to be there for one of the most important and specials days of our lives, when we carry our son into a airport and we are home together at last. However after the airport party we are taking a one week break. Attachment is hard and very complicated. We need to bond with him and form some attachment before introducing others. Please know that we aren't being selfish, we want you to meet him. This time is needed its not just us being silly. It's extremely important. It will be difficult I know but we ask that we be given our one week break. Our guy is very shy and we know that this will be so important and we promise when we are ready for visitors we will call. We are not trying to keep him away , were just trying to settle our little family first. Give us a week break, if not for us do it for him.

Wake me up I'm dreaming

I almost feel numb. Seriously it's like your on such a overwhelming high that it spills over into just feeling numb so your body can cope with all the adrenaline. I just cannot believe that we are leaving for Hong Kong this week! I cannot believe that when we come back Connor will be with us!!! After 21 months on this adoption Journey the end is in sight, and after praying for a baby for 8 years its finally my time. I honestly feel like I'm dreaming. Like any moment I'll wake up and none of this will be real. But it is real because we clung to Gods promises and never let go. We knew in His time we would have a little blessing and His time has come. Mama and Daddy are coming for you very soon Connor.

Holding you one year later....

Well you wont get an update about week 10 because week 9 was our week. WE HAVE HCO!!!! Meaning we can go get our boy!!!! Words could never express our excitement or relief.

God has walked with us every step of this journey and we are humbled when we look back and see each mountain He moved for us.

We are leaving January 8th and will meet Connor January 11th. This date is so so special because January 11th, 2014 is the day we let ISS ( International Social Services) know that we wanted to move forward and pursue the adoption of a precious little boy we had come to know as Thaddeus.

On January 12, 2014 Sweet Thaddeus was put on "hold" for our family as they awaited our paperwork. I remember telling Jeremy months ago when we realized we would more than likely travel in January that my guess was January 12th. Because I just knew that I would hold my baby one year to the day He was put on " Hold" for us.


I guess my Mothers instinct has officially kicked in because I will be holding my sweet boy one year later.

Since we already had plans to go out of town for New Years  i am out of weekends so I have been a busy bee packing for one of the most important trips of our life!!!

I am thrilled to tell you Connor is officially packed and Mama and Daddy cannot wait to see him face to face.

Gods timing truly is perfect and I'm glad our perfect time is almost here!
Only 14 more days until I hold my baby boy.

A Christmas Surprise....

Week 9  ( of 8-10 week wait) is here!!!   We are thrilled to know soon we will hear news and have the most important travel dates of our lives.

But wait I need to tell you something that happened on week 6!!!! We received a update on December 8th. It was mainly things about Connor this time the notes came from one of his caregivers at the orphanage. It was awesome to hear more about his personality and likes and dislikes on simple everyday task, But we were shocked when along with the update were notes from AU (adoption unit in Hong Kong.) Saying that they anticipated that we would receive HCO ( Higher Court Order, travel comes 1-3 weeks after receiving HCO.)  before Christmas! The week of Christmas was week 8 ( of 8-10 week wait.) but we never expected it that soon due to the holiday and so many traveling and out of the office. Thats not all we were given expected travel dates!!!!! I cannot tell you the joy and excitement that filled me to finally see a date in front of me!! It made it so much more real and  all I could think is MY BABY IS ACTUALLY COMING HOME!!!!  

We were told to begin looking at tickets but not to buy until we received HCO confirmation and were given the go ahead. 

We chose not to tell and to surprise our parents for Christmas. Oh it was the longest two weeks ever and it was so hard to continue giving updates for weeks 7 and 8, but I knew I had to in order to keep our secret. 

So for Christmas we handed our parents a card and said this is from Connor. The front said Merry Christmas and the inside said I cant wait to meet you on January 15th, 

We secretly videoed the whole thing and it turned out so awesome and a memory we can always look back on and cherish.

Could these dates change???   Yes, sadly HCO did not come before Christmas so until its confirmed they could change.  We anticipate HCO to come this week and are very hopeful that that will keep us right on track to travel the week we were told. Either way Connor is coming home very soon and we are so thrilled to share that news with you.

Please continue to pray as we wait for more news. I will keep you updated I promise hehe.

I choose different

Connors not home this Christmas. Let that sink in.
It hurts.
I'll wake up Christmas morning and I will not go in his room and lift him out of his crib. I won't see those ten tiny fingers open gifts.
I won't see smiles or hear giggles as he is surrounded by his family who are showering him with gifts.
And yes it hurts.....a lot.
I could be sad and although I can't say there won't be any sadness,  i can say I choose different.
I choose happiness.
I will smile in knowing that next Christmas I will be standing in the ridiculously long line at the mall to see Santa. I will be watching his expression and take  a million pictures of him opening all his gifts. I will see him surrounded by his family and I will smile knowing God not only gave us this precious boy but I will let the bewilderment sink in that comes from knowing that because we followed Gods calling on our lives this precious soul has a family who will love him forever.
I will hold my head high this Christmas and will rejoice in knowing it will be our last one apart.
The emptiness and sadness wont win this year because I choose different this Christmas.

Soaking in these last moments...

  I know this is going to seem crazy and please know that after 20 months of being paper pregnant I more than likely am. I want Connor here more than anything. I cannot wait to see him steps away from me and for the moment I can wrap my arms around him for the first time. I cannot wait to spend saturday mornings watching cartoons and eating a granola bar while he plays around the living room and more than likely eats most of my breakfast. I just cant wait for the day to day things we so often take for granted, but dont think I have hit the mushy gushy train completely because I also cant wait for SLEEPOVERS at the grandparents. Yep you heard me correctly and I honestly cant believe it myself but im human and willing to admit I will need breaks. I will need a moment to catch my breath. Even though it seems I have had all the time in the world I somehow dont think anything can prepare you for the parenthood train, especially with a toddler that lets be honest in the first few weeks is practically a stranger. Obviously when I say sleepovers I mean eventually as he needs stability for the beginning months He is home. One of those things I want him to always have and grow accustom to is Mama and Daddy at night night time at his own house and in his own bed, but eventually it will be time and as bad as it hurts my heart it will be time. And I can pretend its all for him and his grandparents to spend time together and although that will be part of it, ill still know deep down its for Mama and Daddy to be able to have a conversation over a hot meal that WE actually get to eat all of. And for SLEEP that we miss so much. And as awesome as the break will be our hearts will miss him more than we ever thought possible and we will be counting down until we see his sweet face the next morning.


I said all that to say this. As much as I cannot wait and as much as I wish He were here 20 months ago. Im thankful for the time I got to spend just with Jeremy. Staying up late, watching tv in bed, going out to eat, just all of it. The day to day things that soon may still happen from time to time, but will still be very different. These last few weeks as much as we are anxious and cannot wait to add our little guy to our day to day life, we are soaking in these last moments of just the two of us that will be few and far between very soon.

                                              Cant wait to parent with the Love of my life!!

WEEK 8 IS HERE!!

    Well Well Well  finally here you are.....



WEEK 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( of our 8-10 week wait).



This week I am thankful!!!! So so thankful that soon this waiting game will be over.  That after 20 months the end is in sight and soon I will hold Connor in my arms and He will have a Mama and Daddy who love him very much!!!! Week 8,  I am overwhelmed and so anxious. I am thankful that God has given me the desire of my heart!!  

God can do ALOT in a year....

One day in December our agency sent us a childs file ( called a child study) of a beautiful little boy whose name on the waiting was Thaddeus. We smiled when we opened the file to see that sweet familiar face. We had saw him countless times on the waiting list and had prayed He would find a family. We never thought we were that family. However when I opened the file and saw his face once again I knew He was my little boy. Im not sure why it took that moment, but it did. Im thankful for a agency who believes in the power of prayer, a God who intercedes on our behalfs, and for the social worker who sent that email that day. 

One year later we are waiting to be given our travel dates so we can bring home Connor Thaddeus Malone.  What a mighty God we serve. 

If you would like to read more about how we saw our son on the waiting list and prayed he would find a family, and finally realized we WERE THAT FAMILY! click here

Week 7!!!!!-

It's week 7 (of 8-10 week wait)!!!!! We are so so so EXCITED! We have been getting things done and anxiously preparing to find out those precious travel dates. I have never been so ready for anything in my life. I am ready to look into those dark Brown eyes and run my fingers through that jet black hair, I am ready to meet my baby!

Week 6!!!

Have we really made it to week 6 already. Time is flying and on the other hand dragging by. We are thrilled that in two weeks We could find out when we will see our precious baby. We cannot wait to find out those travel dates and see how God brings everything together perfectly. Keep praying!!!

A sign that I can do both....

  Sometimes we ask God for a sign and its not the answer we expected or even wanted. Before I start let me reassure all those reading that I LOVE my job. Hectic and stressful at times but so many hugs and I love yous as well. With that being said let me begin.....

I always always always wanted to be a stay at home mom. When asked even in high school what I wanted to be or do with my life my answer was I want to be a mother.

So now my dreams are coming true and no matter how I tried to do the math it seemed that staying home with my little love was just a unrealistic dream.  Sure we could make it, but with no extra money. However I refused to believe such a thing and I prayed and prayed that God would send me a sign of what His plan was for me. Of course I just knew that it would all go in my favor.

All plans seemed to fall through and I just couldnt believe that this was it. I would have to give up my dream of spending every second with my baby boy. I would have to experience that first time of leaving him and then I would have to do that over and over again 5 days a week, 40 hours away from him each week. I continued to pray for a sign of what I was suppose to do.


A few months ago I was eligible for insurance through my job, nope not doing that because that would mean I would be stuck. As I continued to pray my heart began to change what if I was meant to do both??  Still I wasnt convinced.

Then one day I realized that taking insurance through my job and coming off of Jeremys insurance through his work would save us almost $100!!! What???  Still  I tried to push it from my mind and persuade myself that this wasnt my sign.  When surprise I received a raise and the raise covered almost exactly what I would be paying for insurance!!! Seriously??

So I receive a raise that is exactly the amount to pay for my insurance and I save $100 which will be what we need to pay for Connors Child care each week.

So it wasnt exactly how my dreams went, but I cant complain because I have a child I love and a job I love and God sent me that sign and I know im meant to do both.

Week 5

Well hello week 5! I am so so excited that in 3 short weeks we will have hit the 8 week mark and it can officially be any day until we find out our travel dates!!!! This week I am so content and just anxious for the next 3 weeks to fly by!!!

Thanksgiving 2015

Happy Thanksgiving!!

From The Malones: Jeremy, Stephanie, Connor, and Nala.

Week 4!

We have made it to week 4!! This is super exciting because it means We could possibly hear in only 4 more weeks news on when We can go meet and bring home our sweet boy. We are so so anxious! Connors room is completely ready, and we are still being showered with gifts for him. It is so so overwhelming to finally have everyone as excited as we have been about our adoption. Please continue to pray for HCO(Higher Court Order.)

Week 3

 I am going to try to post each week about how im feeling. Weeks 1-2 have been a blur of excitement and anticipation.

Week 3 of our 8-10 week wait.......

I am so so so thankful that were on week 3 because it makes it seem like time is finally moving a little. I cannot believe how time has seemed to stand still since we know the next news we get will be travel dates. We have had our baby shower and Connors room is now complete. We are officially ready. However some days I must admit I feel so unready and I panic a little, but its just new mom jitters because I am so ready for my baby boy.

I try to envision what it will be like to see him for the first time. To walk into a airport filled with our family and friends and to finally be home. I try to imagine what being a family of three will look like. All I do is cry because I am excited, anxious, scared, and a million other emotions but deep down on week 3 I know were ready to feel complete again for the first time in 19 months. We are ready for Connor.

Thank you for Connor!

 I thank God for Connor daily, but if I had the opportunity to put it all out on paper and express what I truly feel it would probably go something like this......


        God, Thank you for Connor!

Thank you Lord for giving me the desire of my heart. Thank you for making me a mother. Thank you for keeping your promises.

Thank you for giving me my son through the beauty of adoption. Thank you for not allowing me to conceive biologically. Thank you for placing a calling on my life that makes one less orphan in the world.  Thank you for helping me find him. Thank you for calling me to do something much bigger than myself.

Thank you for making my boy fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you for who He is, Thank you for his health. Thank you for his smile.

Thank you for calling me to be this beautiful souls mother.

Thank you for Connor.

Baby Shower

 Saturday (Nov 7th 2015) was our baby shower!!! It was so much fun to have our friends and family there to help us celebrate our sweet boy. I loved all the questions about Connor and our adoption process. Seeing everyone as excited as us was overwhelming!! We are thankful for those who put it together and made the day possible. Thank you to Ivy who took pictures for us!  Mandi for making our Cake exactly how we wanted it and for bringing it all the way from Virginia !!!!and each and everyone who came and showered us with amazing gifts.

  Here are a few of the things we received.....A Tula  (Carrier)which will keep our hands free for passports and paperwork while navigating through the busy airport with a toddler.  Things Connor will need daily sippy cups, spoons and forks, plates, wash clothes, baby lotion and soap. Hats and gloves for those cold winter days. Toys which im sure Connor would like me to send out a very special thank you for. Clothes, a learning kit so we can work with Connor on his words  a tablet, a carseat, his first bible! and even one of Jeremys old blankets!! Drum roll please.........284 DIAPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are so incredibly blessed!!!! Thank you for loving our baby right along with us! More pictures to come.

Katie Layman surprised us by painting this awesome picture for Connors room!!!

What if He doesn't like us.....

         I know its crazy but I really uttered those words a few weeks ago and I meant them. Of course looking at it later it seems so so ridiculous. It doesnt matter though because in that moment it makes perfect sense and you are drowning in the unknowns. The point im trying to make is were human, im human. I have worries and oh do I have fears. However even in those fear filled moments I know He is my son. I know this is our life. I know He will love us. I know we already love him. I know things will be hard and there will be times while raising him that I will be scared out of my mind, but  I also know that there will be so much joy. I know that He is mine and I know He likes us.....Even if He doesnt know it yet    

Please pray that things wouldnt go according to plan...

Its hard to believe after 20 months on this journey that we only have a couple more months until the end.We are so close to scooping Connor up in our arms that some days I literally ache for him. 

Of course we are filled with excitement and anticipation so there is no time to be sad. We are having our  first baby shower this weekend a event I have thought of and dream about years before it was actually happening. Of course nothing is like I envisioned it and thats whats so great about our God! He sees the bigger picture and makes things better than we could have ever visioned. I am honored that God chose me to be TYKs mother. I am overwhelmed that He has chosen me to parent a child with special needs. I am blown away at how He believes in us. How He sees our full potential even when we are sitting somewhere sobbing saying I cant. 20 months later I see his plan , I not only understand it, but I am living it. I am a million emotions and they change daily, but what I feel for certain is ready.  I have so many unknowns and  things I am super nervous about, but im ready for this child. Im ready to struggle through motherhood like all mothers do. Im ready to try my best. I already  am experiencing this incredible love that a mother has for her child. I cant wait to experience How the love grows even deeper when He is here.  Im just so ready!!

So this brings me to the point of this blog, We are waiting (8-10 weeks) to get HCO If all goes according to plan it should come sometime in that time frame and then we will get travel dates somewhere within 1-3 weeks. I am praying things dont go according to plan, and I want you to pray that with me. 

Pray that God would perform a miracle! Pray that He would be faithful like he has time and time again. Stop praying for Christmas or any specific date. Pray that God would show up and show out. Pray that He would blow us away. Pray God would bring Connor home!!!! We know that these statics are  right and up to date, however we believe that theres power in the name of JESUS. We believe that He can do all things. We believe that He will bring Connor home. We know that this is too big for us but nothing is to big for Him. Help us pray for Gods perfect time. Pray for a miracle!! Pray Connor home!

Daddy finally speaks out....

Well I guess it's time to finally write my blog for Stephanie. How did I feel about our initial decision to adopt? I have to admit that I was scared, nervous. Don't get me wrong I love kids, but I've never really had to be responsible for one of my own. Being a father comes with a lot of responsibilities and sometimes I don't feel like I'm grown up enough to be a father. The more I think about it though, and what I thought when we finally decided to adopt, what is grown up? Is it giving up hanging out with friends, playing video games, dressing up like a superhero on Halloween, or just dressing up like a superhero in general? No. Being grown up is providing for your family and raising your children up in a household that provides love, nourishment, and a good foundation to build on in life. I've never been a father, but I've got a couple of good examples to mold being a father after. The first is my own father who I know loves me, and would do anything to make sure that I didn't do without anything. The second is Jesus, my Heavenly Father who gave himself to make sure that eternally I would never have to suffer or worry about what I have. Both fathers have always provided for me, loved me, and I'm taking care of all of my needs. Even though Connor may not be my blood son, he is no less my son then if I'd had one naturally, much like the kingdom of heaven that I've been adopted two through the blood of Jesus Christ. Even though I've made mistakes with both fathers, they never gave up on me and even though I know Connor will make mistakes, I'll never give up on him. So I'm not scared, because I know I have plenty of people around me that will help support me, and I know that Connor will have plenty of people around him to support him. So there it is, the blog written by Jeremy Malone.