Forgetyou 2014

    Forget you 2014 was a trip our youth group went on. I didnt get to go, but Jeremy went. I had a horrible week the week before the trip and the week of was worse with Jeremy gone I have just been so depressed, overwhelmed and just blah. However I am thankful that Jeremy went because his desire is to work with the youth but because of his work schedule is unable to. He really got to connect with the youth and I am so happy for that. Sunday everyone who went on the trip got up and spoke, they filled us in on what Forget you meant and what touched them most. It was a awesome service and I cannot even explain how it changed me.

Forget you means to put Christ first .   He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30


 I have not being doing that. I have been selfish. Everyone has gifts, I know that mine is working with children. However when asked I have said no numerous times to helping with Children at TFC. I have thought about myself, and I think to get my attention God has in a sense allowed me to bury myself. Don't get me wrong I dont mean He has left me, He NEVER leaves us. I think He allows us to make choices and when we dont follow his will and calling He allows us to be sad, and overwhelmed to get our attention.  

Its not about me, its about Him. I realize that now and I will now be helping wherever I can at church, and I hope this helps others to see the big picture and to do the same. There at jobs that need done, but so often we are so comfortable doing our own thing or convincing ourselves its not the job for us ,But its not about us.


I am so thankful that the youth went on this trip because I NEEDED this message. I am thankful for my church and all those who are a part of it. I am sorry that I let a whole year go by without using my talent in a area where we desperately need more helpers. I am sorry that I have been so selfish.


Remember Its not about us, its about HIM <><

A time of rest. . . . .A break from social media

    Ok guys heres a update. I have had a rough week. Jeremy went to beach camp with our youth group and youth leaders, and for the first time ever I was the one home alone. I cried daily, but what everyone doesnt know is that has been going on since last week.

   I know everyone assumes I have been upset because Jeremy  was gone and I have missed him and not known what to do with myself, but there is more to it then that. As you know from my last post I had a little break down last week. The truth is I didnt just cry it all out and poof im good now.

       I think its all still from going as hard and as fast as I can for 4 months straight. I think its from emotions being up and down and up and down. I need rest. I feel so distracted from the world and yet I feel so connected to it, but cant focus on real life. The best way to describe it is I feel like im drowning. I feel overwhelmed. I feel like its all too much, but when asked what is all to much? I couldnt tell you. Its everything and its nothing. I know that everyone thinks Jeremy was gone and I got sad and mopey, and yes thats partly true. The whole truth is this started long before he left. Last week was my breaking point and this week with my best friend and the person in whom I confide everything gone and unavailable that made it worse yes, but him going is not the reason all these emotions surfaced. I just wanted to clear that up.

      That being said I am taking a break from  facebook, twitter, and instagram. I feel as though they are too much right now. I feel like I have lost touch of "real" life. ( I may not blog as often either, but I will update you when i can). My focus is gonna be on my relationship with Jesus Christ. Being a better friend, wife and future mother. I need less distractions in order to accomplish these things. I wanna be a better person. I wanna be closer to God more so than before. I need this break in order to focus on Him. Im tired physically and emotionally. Im just exhausted with everything and nothing all at once. I want to make sure everyone knows im taking a break from facebook, instagram, and twitter  in the attempt to connect better with the relationships around me. This is something I feel convicted to do. Our facebook will not disappear Jeremy will still have it. I just want everyone to know whats going on since my last post was open and honest I didnt wanna go mia and anyone worry. Im fine and everythings gonna be fine. I will still be working on our adoption I will just be going slower and not trying to accomplish everything so fast or all at once like I have been
.
Again I wanna stress that im fine.I have had a really rough few weeks and  I am just overworked, overstressed, and overwhelmed, so im gonna focus on resting and my relationships with those God has placed in my life and leave out social media, and everything else that doesnt matter.  


    My hope is that I can put my focus back on what actually matters and in turn all my relationships will be on key. The overwhelming feelings will begin to go away and I can be right where God wants me to be. If you need me you can call me. If you dont have my number you can email me stephaniehmalone@gmail.com.

Please remember us in prayers and especially lift up our home visit for our home study which is July 10th and our adoption in general.




 I did miss Jeremy like crazy!!!! Who says that after 6 years of marriage your heart can't think your still a newlywed!!! :)

My Sons Birth Mother

           *** Keep in Mind that I dont even know my son yet and so I know nothing about his birth mother.**


       My Son has a birth mom. I know thats obvious but I want others to know that i'm not pretending that He doesn't. I wanna make it clear that I dont know her and even once I find out who my son is I may have some information about her and I could also have none, but either way I still wont know her. If we do however receive some information about her , I will never share that information. Except with my Son of course that is His story to tell not mine. I know so many will hold harsh feelings deep inside toward her because they assume she just abandoned her baby. I want others to know that for one they are assuming that and I want them to know that even if that was the way it happened they dont understand. I cannot speak from experience because I have never been to another Country, but I know that all the stories in the world cannot help us to even catch a glimpse of what its really like in some countries ( im not speaking of Hong Kong, i just mean in general). Everyone has a story and so often we want to fill in the blanks and become anger and bitter when they arent our blanks to fill in and we more than likely have it all wrong.  I am not trying to paint a pretty picture of my childs past because I dont have the knowledge to fill in his blanks, and I may never know what his past held. But I want others to understand and acknowledge that they dont know either.
     I will forever be grateful for my sons birth mother. I will forever rejoice for the tough decision she made. She is the reason He is alive. She made choices and one of those choices was to carry him and allow him to live. She didnt have to choose that but Praise the Lord she did. She also made the choice to give him up for whatever reason and on one hand you feel happiness in knowing that because of that choice you now have a son, but on the other hand as a woman my heart breaks for her.
        Whatever her circumstance I lift her up in prayer daily. She carried my son, She could be carrying him right now, how could I not care deeply for the woman who gave life to my child. I know that others will never understand this, but thats ok because its my story  and they dont have to understand.
  I just hope that others wont try to fill in the blanks of her story and judge her when they have no clue of the choices that She has made and will live with daily. I hope that others will choose to rejoice in the fact that because of her choice we now have a son and not focus on why and how that came to be.

I know im not the only one who believes God trades our ashes for beauty and this is just another example.

She is in my prayers.
She gave me a gift I cannot repay.
She is my Sons Birth Mother.

Defeated and in need of prayers

On Thursday I had a horrible day. I am constantly working and feel like im getting no where. My days off consist of my working HARD and when the days over I never get anywhere. Thursday I hit my limit. I reach my breaking point. After crying at the post office. I went home and cried for a solid hour and off and on the rest of the evening. When asked what was wrong I sobbed the best I could im tired. I was. I am. Im absolutely exhausted, Mentally, physically. I am tired of being strong. I am tired of pretending to have it all together. I have worked, pushed, and smiled for almost 4 months now. I feel for everything we have needed to do locally we have had to jump through hoops. For starters we were given the run around by doctors offices. Im talking RUN AROUND. Some said they wouldnt sign our paperwork, some said they wouldnt do the 7 panel drug test we were required to have. Some wouldnt take our insurance. When we finally found one we had to apply to be a patient there and wait. We were approved PTL. Then they automatically scheduled us appointments. Of course we had to cancel them because they were at times we were working. We rescheduled which was way too much confusion since we got accepted by two different people. Apparently mine never got canceled so I showed up for the rescheduled visit and was told that I didnt have a appointment and that I had been a no call no show for my actual appointment. ( I cried that day also) I rescheduled that day and was told that if I didnt come to that appointment I couldnt be seen because you can only reschedule twice. ( I didnt even respond). Finally got a appointment and loved the doctor. Got paperwork signed only to realize She is actually a nurse  practitioner. Meaning my paperwork is probably not even valid and will have to be done again.  Next is my passport. I went to walgreens to have my passport picture taken. They had their photo lab closed for construction. So over to Walmart i went. I had my picture taken and I smiled. As I am walking out of walmart Jeremy says they wont use that because you smiled. I turn around and go back on and they told me if it doesnt work you can bring it back. This was my day off last week.
 My day off this week.I had a dr appointment in athens afterward we went to the aim mail center ( they did our fingerprints and we really liked them) well they dont do passports ( even thought they have a big sign apparently they only  expedit passports. We headed home, I then find out that you can fill out the paperwork online and print it out and take it to the post office which saves time. So I did. Three different times because I kept finding errors. Then on the third time it stopped in the middle and announced the printer was out of black ink. So to the church I headed. Printed it out and headed to the post office. All paperwork in hand  my drivers license, the photos, and my birth certificate. Oh we dont do that here was what I heard. So fighting back tears I asked where can I get it done?? Athens or Madisonville post office. I had just been in Athens that morning for a doctor appointment. 

Those are just a few examples of me working all day on my day off to get a particular task done and at the end of the day still no where near it being done.

I am tired, I am frustrated, I am sad, I am overwhelmed, I feel defeated, I need your prayers.


2 Corinthians 4: 17-18 “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long.  Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever.  So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever

The process is not easy. . . .

    I wish I could tell you that adoption was simple. I wish I could persuade others to adopt because  of the easiness of the process. Unfortunately its just not the truth. Adoptions hard. So many twist and turns and unforseen hold ups. So much hard work and effort goes into the process long before you wrap your arms around your child, long before you even lay eyes on your child.  I often sit and wonder how others get through the process without God?? How do folks get through any of lifes trials without Him??
      Adoption is tough no one knows that better than people who have and are going through it. However the love is easy. The love comes so natural. Often even before you see a picture or even know who your child is. It actually makes sense who would work so hard and put so much effort into something if they didnt love. If they didnt have a ultimate goal. They just wouldnt.
    We know that we are adopting from Hong Kong. We know that our child will be somewhere from 6 months to 3 years old. Most everyone knows that we have specified that we would like a son. We know that we will spend 4-6 days in Hong Kong meeting and bringing our son home. We know that we have chosen a name that we love, for now we call him Baby C. We know that He will have developmental delays and possible other moderate to severe special needs. We know the facts.
   We know the emotions the pain of just wanting him here so badly. The exhaustion of knowing we still have tons of paperwork and questions to answer. The ache of knowing we will go through another Christmas without Him. The hurt of know we are more than likely missing another birthday. The pain of this is real.
           We also know the pain of others not understanding our decision. We know the excitement that overflows within us. We know the joy it brings  to share where we are in the process. That does not come without the negative. Those who say mean things whether meaning to or not. Those who look at us in disbelief when we tell about our little one. Those who say we should try longer, or try other options to try to have "our own". Those who suggest we stop trying and it will happen. Those who ask why we wouldnt adoption from the US. Trust me we have heard it all. We try to smile and not let it get to us, but it does.
         He is our own. Baby C is our child. Ok so not biologically, but thats just DNA. Cant you love someone who is not linked to you biologically?? Ok maybe some folks can't, I dont know but I know that we can. I know that we will, I know that we do. Before God created the universe He knew us all. He knew our situations He knew our lives He saw our future. He knew Baby C would be  ours. He knew I would be his mother.
       Its so simple yet others cannot understand. Im not sure of how to explain it, but I know that I cried out for a child and God heard my cries. He didnt answer in my time. He didnt answer the way I might have thought, but He answered. I believe that however motherhood comes its a miracle.
My child is a miracle and He is loved. The process of adoption is not easy, but the love is.

I know I am his mother

"Your proud of your baby."  Thats what a guy who I just met minutes earlier said to me one day last week. I sat there for a moment shocked at his bluntness. Knowing that He was absolutely right. I had not even known him 30 minutes when I found myself sitting in his office sharing our story. I didnt even mean to, but when asked if I have children I cant help but share that yes I do but He lives in Hong Kong right now, oh and did I mention I have never met him. I dont know his age. I dont know what his birth given name is.. But I know I am his mother.
                I dont talk about our adoption because im proud of what were doing. I dont talk about our adoption because we are saving a orphan. I  dont talk about our adoption to get a pat on the back. I talk about our adoption because I am amazed at how faithful our God is. I talk about our adoption because it has changed my heart and the way I view so many things. I talk about our adoption just as a expectant  mother would talk about their pregnancy. I talk about our adoption because its always on my mind. I talk about our adoption because I am in love with a baby I have never met. I talk about our adoption because God has answered my prayers for a child. i talk about our adoption because I want others to know the joy we feel. I talk about our adoption hoping it will inspire others to pray about opening their homes and hearts to a child needing a family to love them. I talk about our adoption because im still amazed this is really happening. I talk about our adoption because its my favorite subject. Theres a million reasons why I talk about our adoption but I like the way a stranger put it best.
I talk about our adoption because I am proud of my baby.

Baby C is a ..........

 Would you like to specify the gender?? We were asked  weeks earlier while sitting in our adoption agencies office. We looked at one another without a clear answer and finally our adoption specialist said its ok we can always fill that in later, Ill mark unspecified for now. l.  As the weeks went by we prayed and discussed the answer to that question. We had always said that we would not specify gender because we really didnt care either way. We would be thrilled with a boy or a girl Like most men Jeremy wanted a boy . We didnt have to pick we could leave it open and see if we were referred a boy or girl. However the more I prayed the more I felt God moving in my heart and life and I felt with quite certainty that I was going to have a son. I cannot explain why but I feel so strongly about this that we have specified to adopt a male.

Please do not think that this means that we would not be absolutely thrilled to have a baby girl because we would. We will love our child whether they are a boy or girl, but we feel that God has given us clear direction and instruction regarding this matter. 


So its with great pleasure that I announce that Baby C is a boy and we are beyond thrilled that because of Gods faithfulness and perfect plans we will have a son!!

What I want people to know about my baby

                 What I want people to know about my baby is they are not second choice. I will be upfront and honest I get very frustrated when I hear folks talk to me or about me and how if only I could have gotten pregnant "we wouldn't have to do this". I cannot stress enough that we do not" have to do this" God has called us to adopt, but we have freedom of choice. However we wholeheartedly embrace adoption and we choose this. We are excited and extremely humbled that God would chose us to be parents to a child without a family. . What a honor it is.

             I know its hard to understand, but I love my child. I dont know him/her but I can feel so much love for them. I want people to know that. I know that I cannot even fathom the love that will come when I see their precious face or hold them in my arms.

            I want people to know that we understand that for the rest of our lives we will be a transracial family. We feel very strongly about this. We dont want to bury our heads in the sand and live life pretending were not. We want to embrace our differences and rejoice in our individualities. We  know that we will be stared at and asked blunt and often rude questions we are ok with that. I cant say we will always be ready to answer or wont get offended, but dont think we dont know all of this is coming. Our families story will be a story of Gods faithfulness and we hope to turn stares and negative comments into a testimony of what God did for us.

        I want people to know that its ok to be scared. If your nervous about this adoption its ok. If you have questions, but are afraid to ask or think you will offend us. Please ask, we wont get offended if its not asked with a mean spirit. I feel so much better when people ask questions because it shows they are interested in the process and have genuine concerns. If you are worried that we are already inlove with a child and are afraid that things might not work out then please pray for us. The best thing to do is cover us, and our adoption in prayer.

  I want people to know that when I invision my child, I dont see special needs, although I know they will have them. My hope is that others wont see there special needs either, not because I want to hide them or pretend they are not there but because they do not define my child.

   I want people to know that we have prayed for this baby for YEARS. I know this is hard for others to understand because they get stuck on the "no you prayed for a biological child, or no you prayed to get pregnant". When in reality I begged and cried out to God for a baby.

I want people to know that God answered. No I didnt look down and see two pink lines. I wont feel my baby kick from the inside. I wont have a ultra sound and hear those words ITS A  ..........

But God answered just what I asked of Him.......
I want people to know that.

Our adoption anthem

This is our adoption anthem. With each word it describes how God has and is carrying us through this journey. It testifys to His faithful and love for His children.

Momma loves you Baby C

Changes

          Wow There have been ALOT of changes for us lately. First off  Jeremy changed departments at work. :) I cant say that more pay was involved but :) :) :) :). What? I didnt say anything. I also have a new job and will be working at Kmart in Sweetwater starting tomorrow. My last day at Polar Freeze was yesterday. Of course most everyone knows We moved to Sweetwater so thats also a big change for us.

 A mist all the excitement and  chaos we prayed, discussed, prayed and discussed and our sweet baby has a name :) Although were not sharing it yet. So for now baby C is the only hint you get.

As if that was not exciting enough we raised over the $2400 needed for the home study. With people handing me donations today and folks starting new fundraisers. I am overjoyed by all this and so thankful that God is for our adoption .Every time I have any doubt come to mind He washes it all away!!!

  We are discussing with our Adoption Specialist what dates are open to schedule our home visit and are hoping to schedule it for July. We will be so excited and relieved to have this step under our belt. When we hear back from our home study hopefully that were approved ( pray pray pray). We will reveal baby Cs Name :)

So lots of changes have been going on, but all good ones. Our God is so Faithful!!!!!!

Thank you for your continued support and prayers.

Two Announcements you dont wanna miss :)

   We have two announcements to make :)   First off we are naming baby Malone a "C" name.

           When we moved into the house were renting in Sweetwater a few weeks ago as we were moving in  we ran across a alphabet magnet the letter "C". We had been discussing names prior to this and so we decided that we would take this as a sign and go with it. Baby Malone will now be called Baby C :) for now.

                                        Announcement 2

           We are overwhelmed at what God is doing in and through our adoption. Between tshirt sales, our yard sale, friends and family donations, my tips from work, our go fund me account donations, and countless prayers  I am beyond thrilled to announce that we have done it. Oh but wait We didnt do anything GOD HAS DONE IT.

We needed 2400 for our home study ( before we can complete it)
Yesterday I totaled up all donations plus money we have already raised and we only needed 258.52 to have  the 2400 needed.

I am excited to announce after some friends and family gave we now are above that mark. Our money raised total is $ 2658.52.  In case you havent done the math we are 258.52 over.

Thats just plain amazing!!!! We thankful that God touched the hearts of so many and that they followed
His leading and gave so generously.

God is in control and when we step aside and allow Him to work we see just how powerful He really is.

**Some of these funds have not actually come in yet, but are promised through Cupcakes for a cause. As long as everything goes well we will receive those funds by June 29th. :)

Our God is amazing check out our financial report :)

Wow isn't our God amazing?!?! He has blessed us tremendously this week!!!! First off I have been sick first with a sinus infection then the stomach virus. On my worst and sickest day I happen upon Cupcakes for a cause: Bring home Baby Malone on facebook. If you havent heard of it click here . I was completely overwhelmed to see Mandi had taken it upon herself to help us raise the remanding money needed for our homestudy. She already had tons of orders by the time I found it and it was absolutely what I needed to see that day. Here is the comment I left when I first found the fundraiser page

Um I accidently found this. Somehow when Brooke ordered it showed where she did on my page. I was just scrolling down my newsfeed and saw Brooke had commented on a cupcakes for a cause page but then I saw Bringing home Baby Malone and I was floored. Then I obviously clicked on the page and I of course cried when I read your intro on the page and then saw how many have already ordered. It is overwhelming to see how others have scooped there arms around us and are at times carrying us through this journey. I have been so discouraged lately Mandi I feel like I am constantly begging for money and I just wish I didn't have to. I have been praying but so often I give it to God but then still go back and try to pick it all back up and do everything in my own. I wanna finish our hone study so badly and I have been grasping at any and every fundraiser idea but I can't do them on my own. I am so thankful that you stepped forward and did this for us. I look at all the orders you already have and think of all the work you will have to do and I just cannot tell you how much it means to me. I know you wanted this to be a surprise but I am home with a stomach virus, and as if that's not bad enough I got a email earlier letting me know our home study fee is 30 days past due. I have no doubt that God knew I needed this today.

 Within  48 hours $531 has been raised!!!!!!!!!!!! Our God is good!!!!! 

Ok so lets do the math......


$2400                   Homestudy
1322.52              money raised
225.00                donated to Gofundme
$531.00            Cupcakes for a Cause
$50.00             (if we sale) 10 tshirts
$30.00             money raised at a premier designs jewelry show

2158.52             Total


241.48                  Total money needed 




We can do this!!! If you feel led to donate you can do so online at our gofundme account just click here.  
If you are interested in purchasing a tshirt click here.

Please continue to pray as we try to finish this important step in our adoption process. 

Cupcakes for a Cause: Bring Home Baby Malone

Check out this awesome fundraiser a friend of mine started and within 12 hours has already raised $531 for our adoption!!!!!'

Cupcakes for a Cause:Bring Home Baby Malone

A Lifebook for Baby Malone

     Ok guys I know its early on but I wanna document it all. I want our child to know that they were wanted and loved long before we actually knew them. I am starting their lifebook.

Whats a lifebook???
Lifebooks are tools that can be useful in working with children in out-of-home care and children who have been adopted to record memories and life events that occurred prior to placement as well as when the children were in placement. Lifebooks can help children retain connections to people who have been important in their lives and may help the children integrate past experiences with their present circumstances in a healthy, constructive manner.


Obviously alot of the lifebook is about the child and there lives in their home country and how they came into their family, but I want to also show the fundraising, the waiting, and everyone that was excited, prayed, helped, had well wishes and so much more.

So this is the beginning Im challenging everyone who bought shirts to take a picture of you wearing your shirt and send baby Malone a message. Your message can be anything. You can tell how you felt when we first announced we were adopting, you can tell them about us, or anything you wanna say.  It can be funny sentimental, heart felt, or anything you choose to say.  Please particpate even if you didnt buy a shirt :) You can send them to my email stephaniehmalone@gmail.com or post them on instagram with the hash tag #teambabymalone my instagram user name is STEPHANIEHOPE1989.You can also post them to our  facebook.

Lets show baby Malone how loved they already are and how excited we are.
Thanks Guys



Heres some of mine

Someone gave us your first car seat a few days ago. Cannot wait until your home and riding in this.

  ---Momma

You already have plenty of books. We will have alot of stories to pick from to read at bedtime.  -----Momma

Very first adoption Newsletter. Letting friends and family know we are Adopting :)

Updates and Prayer Request

  Hey guys Just a quick update and post to let you know how things are going. Most of you know we moved to Sweetwater a couple weeks ago, and things have been going great. We love our new home and its location. We love being closer to our church and church family.
       We have been trying to complete the last few pieces of paperwork for our home study so that once we raise the remanding funds needed we can complete our part of the home study. We still need $1100. ( we are selling more shirts and have a gofundme account just saying ;) ) That being said we need your prayers. Please pray for our doctor appointments. I dont wanna go into too many details because im not the type to bash any business online, but lets just say we have been given the run around more than once. So please pray that we can go have our appointments and they will fill out our paperwork and send it in. Also pray for us as we fill out two life changing and extremely important pieces of paperwork. We have put them off and prayed and prayed and the time has come to fill them out and we still dont feel ready (one of those things we probably never will feel ready for) pray that we would fill them out the way God wants us to and not listen to our wants or what others want us to do. Also please continue to lift up the funding of our adoption in prayers. I know God has a plan and so often we try to figure things out on our own and it only leaves us tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed. We need to TRUST HIM. Pray that Jeremy and I would continue to do that.
    Pray for our child. I dont know who He or She is yet, but God does. God has always known. Before He created the universe He knew me, He knew Jeremy, He knew we would fall in love ( eventually) He knew that we would desperately want a child of our own. He could give us one, but He had a greater plan. He knew that we would want a family so badly that we wouldnt give up, and He knew that we could love a child who biologically was not our own. He knew that matching DNA would not matter to us. He knew that our love would not have boundaries or limits. He knew all this and then He saw them. He saw a child, He saw their situation. He saw that they needed a family, and He knew exactly what to do. He knew who would love them, He knew who would provide the best life for them that they possibly could.. Im so thankful that God chose this child for us and I am overwhelmed that He chose us for them. 

Continue to pray for our adoption and for us as we continue on this journey to our first child.

New Tshirts :)

           After my last post two sweet friends donated a total of $215 to our go fund me account http://www.gofundme.com/8q2v58.  I am so thankful for everyone and there willingness to give. Since our last tshirt sale did so well we decided to sale more shirts. They are new shirts by the same company if we sale 10 that is when money will go through. We have until June 22. We want to sale as many shirts as we can before then.  You can check out the new shirts here https://www.bonfirefunds.com/jeremyandstephanies-fund. Thanks guys and please spread the word.

Halfway there. . .

We need $2400 to complete our homestudy. We pay at the end so we have been trucking along getting paper work and interviews done. We have done training, some have done more than others ;) but that's irrelevant. We had a tshirt fundraiser (which by the way our shirts have shipped) We made $345. We had a yard sale where we made over $500. We have had strangers donate to our gofund me account online. We have had others we know and love give donations as well. We have made it half way. We need $1200 to have the complete 2400 for our home study. We have doctor appointments set up for this week, and a few other pieces of paperwork to complete. Then we can set up for our adoption specialist to come to our home and do our home visit. That will be the last part of the homestudy. Then we wait a few months to hear if we were approved. After approval of the home study we can apply for grants, loans, and many other financial aids. I have begged, I have pleaded, and I am tired. I have been sick this week and maybe thats part of my discouragement. I am so broken down and discouraged. I wish I could just pay the money and bring my baby home, but thats not my situation. I wish I didnt need to ask for help or depend on others, but I do. I believe that God is using us to show others that you dont have to have the money. You dont have to know how you will provide the finances for the next step. You just have to step out and trust Him and He will take care of the rest. We all get discouraged, we all break down but God is working all things out for our good. He has a plan and we are on His timeline. 

Please continue to pray for our adoption. For us to be strong and determined, for funding, for the home study to be approved, for us as we file out paperwork, for our child, for all aspects of our adoption.  

If you feel led to donation to our adoption you can do so at this link.

http://www.gofundme.com/8q2v58

God has a plan, Are you part of His plan to help us??

              Today I made a box to keep money in at our yard sale  adoption fundraiser tomorrow. Its nothing special, but its special to me. I think I will keep it even after our baby is home. As a reminder that God keeps His promises. I can look back at it and remember when we didnt have a dime in it, and how at just the right time God touched peoples hearts and the money arrived right on time.
      Right now we need $1400 to finish our home study. We are having a yard sale tomorrow. we are unsure how much we will make or how we will reach the amount needed, but we are sure of one thing Our God is big enough!! God has a plan and we are putting our trust in Him.

   Is God tugging at your heart strings and asking you to give?? You could be the one who helps make our family complete.

If you are feeling led to give you can do so online at our go fund me account at this link
http://www.gofundme.com/8q2v58


We appreciate all donations and also ask that everyone pray that God would provide the funding needed to bring our child home forever.

Moving, adrenaline, Nala, and working on bringing baby home.

             If it weren't for the excitement and anticipation I am convinced no one would ever make it through a move. I have ran on  adrenaline for days now. We however are finally moved and have got some much needed rest. We are mostly unpacked with the exception of some boxes we stored in our " extra room" which will be babys room. :)  We LOVE our new place and being in Sweetwater. 

  One person not adjusting so well is Nala :/ She has never lived anywhere but our old house and She keeps going to the car and wants to go home. Poor girly She just doesnt understand. She finally played with her toys a little this morning, and hopefully will continue to improve as time goes on.

We are currently still trying to raise the rest of the money for our home study we need around $1400 still, but I know God will provide in His timing. Once we have the money and everything ready at our house we can schedule our home visit. After the home visit we wait ( could be 3-4 months) to find out if our home study was approved. If it was we are moving on to our dossier ( immigration paperwork). We are so excited to continue our process and be a step closer to our baby.

We ask that you continue to pray for us as we hold our heads high and work diligently at bringing our baby home.

A home in Sweetwater

   As most everyone knows Jeremy and I have had a desire to move to Sweetwater for a while now. We wanted to be in the same town as our church. We had a desire to be more involved, we wanted to run into folks from our church at the grocery store, we wanted to be more available and closer. Also with Jeremy working in Knoxville it puts him that much closer to work. This was all a thought and future plan until recently when things began to happen in our neighborhood. I wont go into detail, but it got BAD!!! To the point where I no longer felt safe and did not wanna live here and I promised that my Child would NEVER have to live here.  We began to make calls for rentals we saw in the paper. Well praise the Lord we found a sweet couple and we put a deposit on a place. The location is perfect, we were told about all the neighbors and how quiet the neighborhood is, and we felt such a peaceful comfort when we met the couple who are now our landlords :)

God timing is perfect!!!!!!!!!!! We are so thankful and ready to move forward into a new start in Sweetwater. Besides living in Montana we have never lived anywhere, but Athens so it of course will be a adjustment, but we did fine adjusting over 2000 miles away so id say this will be a easy transition for us.
 We are so excited and will be moving this weekend.  Please pray for safety as we pack everything up and start new in Sweetwater.

Whats your opinion?? week 4

                 I am continually amazed at peoples rudeness!!!  Jeremy and I were at a fast food restaurant saturday. Bless the workers hearts they were busy!!!! The lady in line in front of us ordered ALOT. ( im sure she had a big family at home.) We knew there would obviously be a wait for our food due to the big order ahead of us. We were fine. We ordered, found a seat, and waited. All around us were loud compliants and whining coming from other customers.A few of them even yelling things out loudly to be sure the workers heard. I felt so bad for the workers and was saddened by peoples actions. The girl taking orders was obviously new, Folks we have all been new once. Maybe you have never worked retail or fast food, but you too have been the new person at your job. Be nicer, be patient, slow down and relax.

Have you ever been saddend by others actions or rudeness??

****Just to clarify this is not about my job.

God answers prayers. . . .

  I worried, begged, and stressed over our tshirt fundraiser. If we didnt reach 50 shirts, no shirts would be sold and the fundraiser would fail :/  I prayed  and asked God to make this first fundraiser of ours a success.

      We not only sold the 50 we needed but we sold 60!!!!   Im so glad that God answers prayers.   He made our fundraiser a success but whats more incredible is why were having fundraisers and asking for prayers!  Jeremy and I prayed and prayed for a baby, and God is giving us one. Not only are our dreams of becoming parents coming true, but a precious child will be a orphan no longer. So glad that God is in control and sees the bigger picture.   Thank you to everyone who bought shirts and prayed for the fundraiser. God is good!!!

*Shirts will arrive in 14 business days :)

Please continue to pray for our adoption.

2014 Mothers Day

 Todays Mothers Day, but today was a brand new Mothers Day for me. I was told Happy Mothers Day by so many friends. Strange maybe but they all said I am a mother-to-be :). What a weird emotion it struck in me when each friend said Happy Mothers Day Stephanie.  I also received a rose today, like all the other mothers. I just cant help but wonder sometimes if im dreaming. I know I am still a long ways from bringing my baby home but it is beginning to sink in more and more that I am gonna be a mother. It feels crazy good to just type that. I know that I had a cheesy grin on my face all day. I think about my child contstantly. Who they are and what they'll be like, and although I would book my plane ticket this very moment if I could. Right now knowing that that days coming is enough. Im learning and growing into the mother God wants me to be, and although I'll never ever be fully there I am changing and making progress everyday.
So  thank you to everyone who wished me a happy first Mother-to-be Mothers Day . It was a amazing day!!!

My baby lives in Hong Kong

              I realized recently that I have never shared the story of how we knew Hong Kong was where our baby is.  So here goes. . . .

          When we decided it was time to pursue our first child through adoption, it was not a lightly took decision. After countless prayers we knew for certain it was Gods plan for us. We then began praying about agencies we applied to our first pick  and  praise the Lord we were accepted. All during this time we had been researching countries. I wont lie we had our minds set on Ghana, Africa. Our pastors family adopted two precious boys from Ghana and we wanted to adopt from there too. Did you catch that "We wanted to".  Then we found out Ghana had placed a temporary band on adoption ( I dont know alot of the details). So this opened our eyes and  we realized we needed to find the country God wanted us to chose. After all God knows our child already so He knows where He or She is. So we began to pray and seek His direction. Alot of countries we do not qualify for due to our age China was one of those countries.  However we could adopt through Hong Kong. We fit every qualification and guideline.  We both felt strangely drawn to Hong Kong. Our agency discussed all our country options with us. We continued to pray. Then our prayers begin to change a little and we began to pray about Hong Kong.

   Where is Hong Kong??

Hong Kong is located in the South Eastern tip of China.

We both felt God had already given us our answer. We sent a email to our agency asking all about Hong Kong and any more information they could give us. We knew in our hearts God had caused our hearts to be drawn to Hong Kong and we felt certain that the child He had for us was there. A day later I got a email back that knocked us off our feet so to speak. The Hong Kong orphanage that our agency works withs mission is to place special needs children with there forever families. I wont lie we were in shock.

**** Im gonna be honest about how I felt and I pray it doesnt hurt anyones feelings.
 My first thoughts were why? Why would God lead us to a special needs orphanage??

Next were the I cants. I cant do it! I have no idea how to care for a special needs child. We dont have enough experience. We just cant!!

Our minds were racing and so we began to pray. We asked God for direction, we asked for answers as to what His plan was.

In the end we knew and I think deep down from the moment we found out we knew. After prayers and prayer and more prayers we know our baby is in Hong Kong. We dont know who he or she is.   We dont know what special needs they may have, but we trust that God will equip us to be ready for their specific needs. We know God wont leave us through all the difficulties that lie ahead. We know that many friends and family dont understand and cannot fathom why we would choose to have a child with special needs. My answer to that is you dont choose just as if we were pregnant God has chosen our child.

I ask that you pray for us as we have paperwork to fill out regarding what  special needs we are open  to and what we are not. Pray that God would guide us in our decision and we would not let our hearts or heads get in the way of His plan for us.

We know that our child WILL have developmental delays we ask that you pray for them and  that we would  be ready to help them. Its possible that they can come home and catch up, but thats not certain. What we want everyone to know is we are NOT sad. We love our child already and it does not matter to us what they look like or what special needs they have, they are ours. We will be there for them every step of the way. We will love them unconditionally as if we had given birth to them.

My baby lives in Hong Kong and He or She has special needs.

A baby for us :)

    I have heard pregnant women thousands of times say that its so unbelievable to love someone so much that you have never met.  I now understand that statement. My baby may not be in my tummy

 But because of Gods perfect plan I am still just as much their mother. 
  I know its hard for others to understand but we love our baby even though we have never met.

 We are working hard to bring them home and although we long for them to be home as soon as possible thats not always how things work. With every bump in the road  we know that its Gods plan. Our baby could possibly not be born yet or they may not be old enough to be adopted yet. So thats why with every delay we must trust God and His timing.  We appreciate your prayers and We ask that you pray daily for us, our baby, and our adoption.

Telling a stranger. . . .

      I saw a lady one day last week, She was very noticeably pregnant. I smiled politely and asked " How far along are you?" Her eyes sparkled when she said " My due date was two days ago!"  Then I did it. The next thing I knew I was smiling ( probably with a sparkle in my eyes) and I proudly stated that my husband and I are adopting from China. She was so sweet when she said "We wanted to adopt too" Then she smiled down at her belly and I said surprise. We both smiled and that was it. I went on about my day and she went on about hers. Then it hit me I have told family, I have told friends, and now I have told a stranger.

     

Stress Number. . . .

             Well hello there. So much has been going on lately so let me start saying we have sold 27 shirts in our tshirt fundraiser, but if we dont sell 23 more in ten days then we dont receive anything. I wont lie I am beginning to worry. I have begged, and whined . So thats stress number one :/

Stress number two goes hand in hand with stress one because we need quite a bit of money for our homestudy and it is due SOON. I of course am worrying and stressing over having to slow progress down a bit because of funds :/

Stress number three Im just gonna blurt it out I wanna move. I wont go into details as to why, but yeah so that means putting our home study on hold as far as scheduling our home visit because if we have it and then move we have to pay a hefty fee :/   As if moving isnt stressful enough on its own.

Stress number four some very important life decisions dealing with our child. Tough tough decisons.

Stress number five Fund raising. :/ Wish we were rich.

Stress number six  cant go into details but stress six sent me over the edge thursday night. To the point of literally getting sick. Migraine to the point of extreme nausea. Resulting with me in bed :/

Leading to stress number  seven  which would be another life changing event, but lots of worry and agonizing over making the right decision whether to stay put or move on.

Stress number nine Fundraising, adoption, books I have to read, decisons concerning our child, moving, packing, tshirts, "thing I cant say", Money,  grants, loans, training requirements, hurtful comments about adoption or our child, special needs, attachment issues, being a good parent, working after baby is home,trip to china, waiting, paperwork, financial requirements, interviews, questions, talking about past ALL my past, being strong, being brave, wearing a smile, hearing negative comments, feeling stretched to thin,.........



Stress number ten AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

You get the picture. I have been ill I mean ill. I have cried I mean ugly face cried.  From the moment we decided to adopt I have eat, slept, and dreamed adoption. I have did paperwork for hours,
I have schedule meetings and interviews, I have read books, I have researched, I have chatted with our adoption specialist, I have talked with our international coordinator. I have not stopped.

I wont stop but I have had to stop and catch my breath. I have had to step back and realize the paperwork can wait while I watch a movie with my husband or go for a night out with my mom. I am not stopping but it is not healthy for my future childs mother to lose herself. Some people say you have to be strong. I would have to say I disagree I think its ok to be weak. We all are weak from time to time. Its ok to cry, its ok to stress and worry. Its ok to feel discouraged and  aggravated. The important part is to be real. Cry when you need to, talk to a friend about you feelings ( this doesnt mean talk "about" someone who maybe made you mad or hurt your feelings. I dont have to fake a smile or pretend to be ok. Im stressed Im stressed bad and im not ashamed to say it. I tried to do it all and I paid for it. I am working on taking a step back and breathing. I am not sweating the small stuff. I am enjoying life, and with every step and every week that passes I am learning more from the training, and the books I have to read. God is working on those major decisions and working all things out for my good. Each interview and meeting is teaching me more about myself. I am growing into the parent God wants me to be, and when im ready, when I have learned all He has for me to learn, I have no doubt that the paperwork will be done, we will have a picture of our childs face and We will hear our adoption specialist say " its time to book your flight to Hong Kong".

If your stress I encourage you to make a list of all the things stressing you out. Taking a look sometimes makes you realize life is too short. Remember that God is working all things out for your good.
You dont have to be brave or strong , just be you.


Did anyone realize I forgot Stress number eight??
 I did it on purpose :)

 Stress number eight = two blog!! I feel bad posting on one and not the other so guess what??? Yep I am moving all the adoption post to this blog and combining the two. Yep first step to  eliminating a little stress :)

We need your help!!!

The good news We have sold 23 Shirts!!!!!!!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!

But We need your help. We have to sell 27 more to reach our goal and we only have until May 12th.  We desperately need this fund raiser to work if we dont reach our goal we receive no donations and no one is charged and no shirts will be sent. :(

Please consider helping us reach our goal. We would really appreciate it!!!

Click link to purchase a shirt and read more about why and where the money will go.
https://www.bonfirefunds.com/bring-home-baby-malone


**All donations go directly into our account for our adoption expenses.



To learn more about our adoption visit our adoption blog
http://stephsletterstoyou.blogspot.com/ 

Doggy friends :)

            When we first brought Nala home she had only had her first set of shots, and we were advised to keep her home and away from other dogs. She finally finished all her shots at the end of february. We have been so busy we just haven't socialized her the way we should, and we decided we really needed to start. So we arranged for our friend Dusty to bring his dog Rocky over to meet Nala. I was shocked when neither barked because Nala normally is a barker. She was so excited and wanted so badly to play. She actually had Rocky a little scared at first,

 but He warmed up after a little time. Pretty good for their first meeting we hope to continue to get them together and watch them play and become better and better friends.

Im someones Mommy

     Some say I have a glow.

 Some say I seem different somehow.

 

I may seem more relaxed and seem to be less stressed now.

 

 The truth is my smile is deeper, and theres no sadness behind my eyes. The reason being I have hope now, something I havent had for along time.

Finally I know where you are although I dont know who you are yet. I know that your my child and I have love for you that I can never explain and yet your over 8000 miles away, but I cannot remove this smile from my face.

The smile is because im working hard to be able to come for you, and each time I finish some paperwork, or another interview I know that im another step closer and one day in my arms you'll be.
So yes I have a glow and my smile is deeper these days because im someones Mommy.