A curve ball

    Dear beautiful baby,
               Over the last few weeks God has really thrown your Momma a curve ball. Adoption has been on my mind heavily. All I ever wanted in life was to be a mother, and I always thought I would have biological children. I'm not sure why, but God has laid Adoption on my heart and is not allowing it to go away. No matter what excuse I put up! We could never afford it, We are about to move, We wont qualify because our income is too low. I know people will say we didnt try long enough, and We should wait for Gods timing. I'm not sure why, but I just feel like We are suppose to take this route. I am praying like crazy for direction,but God just keeps whispering adoption. So I know He knows best so that must be all I need to know at this point. I want you to know Sweetie it does not matter to Momma one bit. I will love you with all my heart either way biological or adopted. It doesnt matter where you came from or what you look like I will always consider you mine.
             Another huge question is domestic or international. As much as I want a newborn ( easier to get a newborn domesticly) my heart  leans more towards international. For those precious babies in orphanages. Are you in a orphanage right now baby? Are you waiting daily wondering if this will be the day your family shows up to take you home? My mind is spinning with questions and more questions. What I want you to know is your Mommas trusting God! He can fund this adoption, He can help us qualify. His timing is perfect!!! He knows who you are and where you are, and I trust Him!!!
           I am praying and seeking his direction. I cannot wait until I hold you in my arms whether you are handed to me by my doctor, or whether I scope you up off a orphanage floor. I will love you unconditionally this is my promise I know I can keep because I love you already. I don't know how many more months or years I will have to wait, but I wait and not lose the faith because I know you will be worth every second. You will be worth every tear I have cried. I know you will make me smile and turn my pain into joy. You will be the answer to my prayer. Everytime I asked God to give your Daddy and I a family He had you in mind. He knew there would come a day when I would finally see the big picture and realize His plan for my life.
                  Your Momma is so excited about the future because you are my future!!!!

I love you so much,
Momma

Christ Clothing Closet

       Last night Jeremy and I went through our clothing Some doesn't even fit anymore, some we never wear. We had two huge black garbage bags full. My heart broke!! Here we are with clothes We never even wear, or don't even fit, but yet were still hanging in our overcrowded closet. All while there are people who are cold, and have no clothing. We both were saddened, and at the same time humbled at how God has blessed us.
        Ever heard me talk about Christ Clothing Closet?? Every 2nd and 4th tuesday of the Month We open our clothing closet here at Canyon Baptist Church for the community. We accept donations anytime they can be set on the steps of the church and we will bring them in and sort them.  We are so thankful for those who have donated. You all are the reason We recently had to reevaluate and make more room and shelving for clothing, and We are so blessed and grateful to have had that problem. As much clothes come in plenty go out. It makes it worth it all to see that expecting mom go out with a box full of clothing for her baby. We love to see the smiles on faces as they carry out boxes full of clothing for them and their families. We are blessed to have this ministry, and are thankful for everyone who helps to keep it running properly. God is blessing families through the Clothing Closet!

This is our advertisement that you may see around the community.

This is the door leading into the Clothing Closet.

This is our baby section. There are also bibles here and at the bottom there are combs, soaps, and other hygiene items.

This is our toddler section. ( We also have lots of other toddler clothes that wouldnt fit here) Also you can see our scarf section.

These totes are all filled  with clothing. ( Sorry for the mess)

Here is our section of hanging up clothing!!

The bottom row hanging up is more toddler clothing. As you can see there are more totes of clothing there underneath.

Here is our pants section. As you can see we have LOTS of pants in all different sizes.

Here is the shoe section.

Those black bags are all donates, We have not even gotten to yet.

 I just wanted to share how God is really blessing this ministry, as well as using this ministry to bless others. The clothes Closet is open from 8:30am- 11:30am every 2nd and 4th tuesday of the month. Please come by and check it out.

He administers justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the stranger, giving him food and clothing. Deuteronomy 10:18

Portion Control

              Ok so A HUGE part of mine and Jeremys weight loss is portion control. Of course eating healthier and exercise are too. Portion Control is so hard. Ill admit it is my weakness when food is good I cant help but sneak seconds. So Of course alot of rising above this is self control, and cooking less. It all depends on how much you want it and how much you will give up.
            Chicken Casserole is my favorite thing ever!!!!!!!!!! We always have mashed potatoes and green beans with it. We have not had this meal in along time so I decided it was time to treat ourselves, but how was I going to keep us from going back and getting more and more??!! The answer was simple. I made us each a portion of chicken casserole and that way there was no chance of us sneaking seconds BECAUSE THERE WASN'T ANY!!!!! HAHA

We each got our own little chicken casserole (Which I realize is too big of a portion, but Rome wasn't built in a day). These two Casseroles only took 1 piece of boneless chicken, 1 8oz can of cream of chicken soup, 3 tbsp of sour cream, and one package of ritz crackers.

Here they are finished. I must say they were so yummy I would have not been able to resist seconds maybe not even thirds!!!

We had the dinner We love, and although We did overeat. We did not eat near what We would have if I had made a regular size chicken casserole. Just wanted to share this so everyone knows We are not super heros who can do this on will power alone. It is a daily struggle this is just one trick I found that really works and is better on the budget too. :)

The Little things :)

                I am so thankful that my husband still takes time to do sweet things for me. I'm not a big flower person ,although he has given me flowers and it was awesome!! I like Jewelry but I am well aware its not a need.  I like all these things, but my favorite things are the little things. Like When my husband wants to make dinner, or when He makes me a drink ( meaning Water haha) without me asking. Sometimes He put clothes in the dryer if He is going upstairs anyway.

                       Tonight I went to call my Mom and He said He was going to make us some hush puppies ( I absolutely love hush puppies!!).   Lately We have been watching a bunch of episodes of Hells Kitchen ( on Hulu). Hells Kitchen is a food competition. Its fine dining and they always have to make the dish look fancy with the sauce on the plate all pretty. We think its hilarious Mostly because We are FAR from fancy, and because the plates always look like they barely have any food on them. So He comes into the room where I am and tells me dinner is served. So I tell Mom bye and hang up. He leads me into the kitchen. The table is candlelit and He says We are having fine dining tonight!!!

Like I said its the little things He does for me that are so special. Just wanted to share our fine dining experience with you.

Something Meaningful

         Well as I told everyone a long time ago this blog is completely personal, honest, and real. So I must tell you about my Christmas present to myself. . Ok here goes I received some Christmas money from a friend and the card said use this for fun. I can tell you that Jeremy and I stick to our word and if you tell us to spend the money you give on the ministries we do, we will. If you do not specify the money probably went to bills, groceries, and our needs like that. So anyway hmm what would I wanna do with fun money. So I begin to ponder it and think about it. Then it hit me. Something I have always wanted.  A Tattoo!!  So I knew I wanted something with meaning. So I spent time just thinking Ill admit long ago I wanted a tattoo and I wanted a heart, or butterfly and please do not take me wrong either of those tattoos are fine, but I really really wanted something that had great meaning to me and neither of those do.  So the thinking continued.
     Finally I decided I wanted it for sure on my left wrist. If it has purpose and meaning why would I get it somewhere it gets hid all the time that was my thinking. So now I knew where so the thinking continued on what, and then it hit me.I wanted the Jesus Fish!!

          What does the Jesus Fish symbol mean??

The Greek word for fish is "ixthus" or "icthus." Five Greek letters form the word “ixthus,” and those letters inside the fish form an acrostic which is a message that Christians clearly identified with. The first letter represented the word Jesus. The second letter represented the word Christ, the next two, God Son, and the final letter represented the word Savior. This adds up to “Jesus Christ is God’s Son, the Savior.”

During the early days of Christianity, Christians were often put to death for practicing their faith, so they worshiped in secret places. A fish painted on the outside door of a house let other Christians know that they would be safe and welcome inside. The Christian fish symbol is now often used to identify Christians and/or Christian businesses.

 Galatians 6:9 is a verse with great meaning to me. It has helped me not once or twice but numerous times since being in Montana. I am not ashamed to admit there have been times this verse has kept me from packing my bags and heading home. It has given me hope and assurance that I cannot give up.When times get hard I recite that verse in my head and my whole attitude changes. That verse has great purpose and meaning to me. So It was decided.

This was my idea of what I wanted.  It would be right there all the time as a constant reminder not to give up.

 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9





     Once I was 100% sure I made my appointment. When I met the guy I told him this was my idea, but I was open to change but I knew I wanted the verse for sure. His suggestion was not to put Galatians inside because it would be too tight and you couldnt read it well, or We could put it inside but He would have to make the Tattoo alot bigger.
So here is what I decided.......

     Let me assure everyone this is not something I was talked into. Its not something I did to prove anything to anyone. I got the tattoo because I wanted it. I put alot of time and thought into what to get. It was not a decision I took lightly.

           To answer the question Yes it hurt very badly, but I feel it was very worth it. I absolutely love it!!! 

                        I know I did not have to share and i'm sure some of you would have just assumed I didnt, but I felt that I have always been proud of the fact that I keep this blog personal and honest. So I felt I should share.
                                                                                                                                                                                  

The Puppet Ministry!

      It wasn't very long ago that The Puppet Ministry was just a vision. I felt like I was suppose to do something geared toward the younger kids at Beyond Borders for Christ, but wasn't sure what that was. So back in the summer I began to pray for guidance, direction, and a clear vision of what it was I was suppose to do. If your from Tn you know what Total Life Encounters  is. I have not missed many years since I started going as a kid with Clear Springs Baptist Church. I always loved the puppets and blacklight shows. I always thought I wanna do that!!! Of course I was also always filled with tons of doubt.  So anyway as I prayed for vision God gave me just that, and to my surprise all I could think about were puppets. I knew its what God wanted me to do. I kept praying. Then in August as most everyone knows I went to Tn to spend some time with my family. As I sat one sunday and listened to a preacher I dont rememeber what the preacher said or even which church back home I was at, but I got my confirmation it was as if God whispered in my ear Puppets. Thats what your suppose to do for those sweet kids. I will admit I think deep down I already knew, but I wasn't being very obedient. That day I told God ok no more fighting Ill do it. Of course I was filled with so many questions. How?? We had no puppets and where would we get the money to buy puppets? When?? Was I suppose to continue praying or start trying to find a solution??
      I told Jeremy. He was like me He had so many questions and I had no answers. So As I continued to pray I felt like God wanted me to  step out and He would take care of the rest. So I sent some emails out telling what was on my heart and asking Churches if they had any unwanted puppets they would like to donate to this new ministry. It wasn't long when the church I grew up in  Sent a puppet.  Rocking Rob ( We named him) made his first debut on November 14th You can watch a video of that Debut here. At the same time I sent out emails My Mom put a ad about it in the Baptist Association Links ( its a newsletter that goes out to all the churches) All this time I'm still praying, but mostly I was thanking God for answering my prayers. I felt truly blessed to have the one puppet and didnt expect anything more.  On November 26th God blessed me so hugely all I could do was stand there in shock as UPS pulled box after box out of there truck. Here is a look at what was in those boxes

Read the whole story behind this Huge donation here. So as you can see When God tells you to step out even though there a thousand unknowns just do it. He will take care of the rest.
 Click here to watch the puppets first Musical performance.
   Click here to see the puppets Christmas Play.
      
        As you can tell once I stepped up to what God was telling me to do, Even though I didnt have any answers in the beginning. God showed me that you dont have to have the answers All we have to do is trust him.
       As I sit here and tell about the growth of this new ministry I must tell you that I may have headed it all up, but I am not the reason its successful. Yes there are amazing people each week who are the reason its going so great. Thank you to all of them for their hard work and dedication. The puppet Ministry could not  be possible without you. Here are the faces behind the puppets :)

 What can you look for out of the puppet ministry in 2013?? We are currently working on getting everything together for blacklight puppets!!!! I am so excited and cannot wait to tell the enemy that told me so long ago that  I couldnt do blacklights or puppets OH YES I CAN!!!!!



God,
  We come to you today so thankful for all you have done for the puppet ministry. Thank you for workers who love what they do and are dedicated. Thank you for churches who were willing to give so that We could do this ministry. Thank you for the vision and the opportunity to start this ministry for these kids. Thank you for all the blessings you have given to us for this ministry and thank you for all the future blessings you have in store for this ministry. We pray that 2012 was only the beginning. We ask you to continue to give us vision and direction for this ministry. In Jesus Name, Amen.

A story of why we should never question God

Dear Baby,
       Let me tell you a story of a dark time in your Mommas life. There was a time when I got really mad at God for not giving me you. I know now how selfish and silly it was. I know that God wanted all my time and energy poured into our ministry work and into the lives of all the kids are Beyond Borders for Christ. I realize all that now, but at the time I was bitter and angry. I am ashamed to admit it, but I really want to share this story with you. When I was in my bitter state of mind I told God ( on more than one occasion) that it was not fair that single woman were having babies left and right and good married woman were struggling with infertility. I know now how wrong this statement is, but I could have never expected how much it would hit home with me much later in life.
           Time went on and I got over the anger and bitterness and We felt the call and moved to Montana. Then this summer We met Mandi and Alayah.  I hope you get to meet them someday baby. They are awesome. Mandi needed a babysitter and I wanted to babysit. We hit it off from the beginning and became great friends. Mandi is a single mom so of course It crossed my mind what I had said a few years ago, but I brushed it off. When it really hit me was when Mandi told me that Alayah saved her life!!! I have not heard her whole testimony yet, but to hear those words my baby saved my life. It really smacked me in the face. It was like God was saying do you still think its not fair that I give single woman babies? God also knew that  would Alayah would come into our lives and steal our hearts. She has helped fill the void and hurt I feel because I want you so badly. See baby God always has a plan. God gave Mandi Alayah because He knew She would turn her life around and its hard to understand but there is a reason your daddy and I didnt poof get pregnant like some people do. There is a reason for this struggle. One day We will understand and for now I have hope that someday it will finally be our time. I know Gods timing is perfect and I trust Him because I know He had a plan that is far greater than ours. I just wanted to share this story with you sweetheart. I love you so much.

Love,
Momma

The Break I desperately needed, Gods Blessings, and What We need prayers for.

               So this week ( Christmas Week) We have had off. No tuesday night bible study, No Beyond Borders for Christ. Just a break! Of course We were selfishly a little excited, but I didnt realize till this week how much I needed the break. Full time Ministry is tough! I know some people  think We dont have "Real" jobs so this is a vacation. Ha I wish everyone could spend a week with us, but this post is not about Ranting so ill get off my soap box haha. The thing is when you begin to get burnt out you normally dont realize it or I never do anyway. This week (As I had a mini breakdown, Nothing huge just a cry fest)  I realized Im so overwhelmed. I'm not sure what I thought teaching a class and doing the puppet ministry would entail, or if I thought the puppet ministry wouldnt take off so quickly. Don't get me wrong I am absolutely thrilled and So excited. I want so badly to throw all my time and energy into it, but I can't. There is so much other work to be done, and jobs that have to be filled. This post is not just so I can complain or whine the reason I'm writing this is for prayer. Not just for me, but for Canyon Baptist Church and Beyond Borders for Christ. Pray for Workers!!!

Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Matthew 9:37

                I don't want to send out the wrong message I absolutely love what We do. I love the ministries We help with and Feel honored to be able to help in anyway I can. I love my class at Beyond Borders for Christ. Nothing gives me more joy to see those sweet faces each week and see them learning more and more. With that being said I also see their faces light up when they see the puppets each week. My hope is that God will lay it on someones heart just as He did mine to have a desire to pour into those little guys lives. So that I can put all my focus into the puppet ministry. Not because Someone else couldn't do it or not because its not running successfully now, but because It has so much more potential if someone had the time to pour into it and because God had been telling me over and over i'm that person. Please join me in praying for the puppet ministry and for God to give me guidance and understanding in how to juggle both the class and the puppets.

            God is really blessing Beyond Borders for Christ. I have seen so much growth in it even just over the last few months. Its far from perfect and there are still weeks We all want to pull our hair out, but that Smile from a child makes every minute worth it. I am so thankful God sent us here and I cannot think of any "real" job that could be more important than pouring my time, energy, and love into these kids. They wont remember every story, Some nights I wonder if they are listening at all. One thing is for sure they know Miss Stephanie loves them very much, and more important that Jesus loves them. Sometimes I'm unsure of what to do and I have to pray for guidance and direction alot, But without a doubt I know Hungry Horse, Montana has changed my life. God worked through this beautiful place to help shape me into the woman He wants me to be. Do I have along way to go? Yes Have I came along way? Absolutely I am not the woman that Stepped out of my car here on July 5th 2011. Am I bragging? Yes not about myself, but about our God. He is bigger than any obstacle.
He is bigger than our fears. He is bigger than our past. He is bigger than our setbacks.
 He is bigger than our failures. He is bigger than depression. The list goes on and on.

        We all need a break from time to time, just don't think that means We aren't happy where we are, or happy doing the ministries We do. What We cannot do is give up. Whether We feel like it or not every job we do is making a difference. We may not realize it, but We are planting seeds and We may never even get to see them blossom but as long as We did what God called us to do and gave our best We did our job. Its hard to see it that way because We would like nothing better than to see them all saved, but We cannot lose heart. God has a plan and a purpose for every child We minister too. Please Pray for All the workers at Beyond Borders For Christ that We would do everything God wants us to do and nothing We Shouldn't. Please pray for more workers. Thank you for reading and for your prayers.

 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

    

A charm that opened my eyes

     Have I said lately that We have the sweetest friends in Montana. Don't get jealous Tn friends You guys are awesome too, But there is something about the way We were just so openly welcomed in when We got here. Today I am reminded of how blessed We are When I received this.....

          A present from  a friend. She said She chose the Hope charm for me because She hopes I have a great life and wishes me the best in everything I do. Wow!! That is alot to take in. I then told her that Hope is also my middle name so We chatted about how God really worked it out that she chose the hope charm.


    It made me wonder how many sweet unexpected things have I done for a friend. Not so that I can gain something, but just so that they feel special. I am gonna work to do more and be better about being a good friend.
    
   Its funny how a charm on a bracelet can open your eyes and change the way you live.  Do something sweet and unexpected for a friend today because We all deserve to feel special.

Comments

      I would love to get more comments on here, and I have found out that it is not allowing people to comment. I have tried over and over and hope that I have finally found the solution.  Here is how to comment if your not sure. 

1. Go to the bottom of the post you want to comment on and click on comments ( in orange) Then click your mouse in the box underneath where it says post a comment.
2. Type in your comment. When you finished  Click on the arrow beside comment as. Then pick the one that applies to you. If you use name/URL you should be able to type in your name or you can always click on Anonymous. 
3. Then click publish. Your comment should be up within moments

Thanks for being patient while I worked these problems out. I hope to see your comments soon. :)

Prayer is important!!!

                We all know how important prayer is, but are we doing enough of it? I am guilty of not praying enough. So many times I forget those I should have prayed for and feel so bad. I finally found a solution that helps me. A prayer Journal! I write my prayers and for me it works really well. I find that i'm praying more and i'm remembering more of those I need to pray for. I just started mine, but I think it will also be awesome to go back and read later and see how God answered those prayers even if it wasnt the way I expected or would have liked. Prayer is so important and We must make it a priority. So If you think your prayer life could use a boost try this out. It helped me and it could help you too. 

         

   

Christmas Day 2012

            When I woke up Christmas Day My wonderful hubby had made me a chocolate chip pancake (my favorite) Yes We cheated on the diet a little, but it was so yummy!!! Then We opened presents and got awesome gifts from our families!! We are so blessed!!! Then We skyped Jeremys parents and got to chat with them for awhile.  After that we tried to take a family photo and although Molly didnt want to We like this picture anyway.

 We are spending the day at home ( Montana) together. Although We would give anything to be home running from one of our families to the other We are thankful for quiet Christmas Days like this when We get to spend time together.

 We want to thanks everyone who sent us presents you are the reason..........

 Christmas 2012 was a BIG SUCCESS!!!!!!!

All joking aside We know that today is all about Our Savior Jesus Christ and His humble birth in a stable. Thank you God for sending your one and only Son into this world to save us from our sins.
Happy Birthday Jesus!!!! Thank you for your Amazing Grace and Ultimate Sacrifice. We Hope that our lives show honor to you and We give you ALL the glory!!!  

Merry Christmas From the Malones!!!!!

A life changed in Montana ( Poem about our Story being Missionaries in Montana)

Who said it would be easy leaving your family and home?
Who said there wouldn't be days you'd smile and say I'm fine when really you felt all alone?
Who warned me there would be days I would cry and sob I just wanna go home?
No one talks much about the bad like the days you wanna give up.
Or the days when you say I'm sorry Lord but I don't think i'm strong enough.
But God is so good and faithful,
For every bad day I've had two good.
I finally realize what He was talking about,
 when He said follow me and everything will work out for your good.
God called us to Hungry Horse, Montana.
We had no idea what to expect
We hoped to see lives change in Montana,
And they did but not the way you'd expect.
We go through the hustle and bustle,
and its hard not to get crabby and mean.
We try to keep a good attitude,
but most times We come off hateful you see.
Even in those times God smiles down,
knowing its all part of the plan.
And the next thing you know our attitude changes,
and We become grateful and glad.
Were thankful to be in Montana,
and dont ever think that were not.
You see a life did change in Montana,
whether you noticed or not.
The person God changed in Montana,
Was  someone We never would have thought.
You see when God sent us to Montana We thought it was to help others change.
But what really happened in Montana is another story of Gods Amazing Grace.
When We got to Montana I wasnt sure my goal.
and I told God id be in the background and that would be my role.
But God had another plan for me and now every sunday im on stage with Jeremy.
Not because im special.
Not because im great.
Not because I sing pretty because We all know that I can't.
Its all because of Jesus and His Amazing Grace,
He brought me to Montana to help me realize my place.
I now put others first.
I help wherever I can.
 and I dont let shyness rule me,
because everyone knows that it can.
I now realize the reason Im typing this from Hungry Horse,
It was all for a purpose, Im grateful I made the right choice.
We did see a life change in Montana,
That life was my very own.

Puppet Christmas Play At Beyond Borders for Christ 2012

   This is our christmas play our puppets put on wednesday night for all the kids at Beyond Borders for Christ. A huge thanks to everyone who helped, especially Liz  who WROTE THE PLAY!!!!! The kids had a great time and it was a real blessing to see them so excited. The puppet singing at the beginning wasnt actually part of the play, but I thought it was too good to cut out of the video. Hope you enjoy.

Christmas in Montana for the Malones :)

             Since coming to Montana Christmas has changed for us . We no longer get to spend that time with family and We miss it so much. Although We do have that emptiness in our hearts on Christmas day We cannot sit around feeling sorry for ourselves especially when this is in our living room!!

You can laugh at my tree if you want. I am not ashamed to admit that I am the absolute worst at making it look filled out, but I dont let that stop me from putting it up every year. What I meant by We cant feel sorry for ourselves is take a closer look under the tree.

The presents come to us. UPS starts visiting our house very frequently in the month of December We are so blessed with AMAZING family. Just wanted to share this and say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to our family. We love you all so much!!!

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,
    Life is so busy with its hustle and bustle and everyday chores that must be done. I feel its high time I told you my story so here goes. I hope that one day We look back and laugh at the struggle and heartache it took to get little ol you. Right now when it comes to the subject of you I cant say that there is much laughter. So here goes lets start at the beginnning.
           From the time I was a little girl I wanted to be a mother, I love babies!!!! As I grew that never changed and Its crazy to admit, but I thought about you and what you would be like more than I thought about my dream guy or my wedding day. Time went on and nothing changed When I graduated high School and was asked what do you want to be My answer was a mother. So Your daddy and I fell in love and got married and I wanted you. Your Daddy wasn't ready and wanted some me and him time first so We waited. Time went on and one day We didnt really decide yes  we want a baby now now now, but We decided it would be ok if you did come along. Months went by and nothing. My worst nightmare was coming true. I went to a nice doctor and found out I have PCOS  (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome ) The problem is my sugar is too high and I dont Ovulate. Hearing those words dont ovulate crushed me. So the doctor put me on a pill to make me ovulate and it worked the very first month I ovulated, but your Daddy was still not sure we were ready. I wanted to scream from a rooftop IM READY!!!! WERE READY! But I absolutely love your Daddy So I waited and then Im not sure why but I just felt like why am I paying for these pills every month if were not trying to have a baby. So I went off the pills and it made me very sad, but I had gained something I had renewed my relationship with God and for the first time in along time I trusted Him. So not long after We felt the call to come to Montana and it all began to make sense why God hadnt blessed us with a baby.
            Now Here We are almost 2 years later and We are ready. We want you. I always wanted you, but your Daddy is sure now too. I cannot express to you the joy I feel when I think of you. We are getting healthy and losing weight and I really hope my PCOS takes care of itself, but am considering going back on the pill when We move home. I trust God completely, but I also know that God blesses doctors with understanding so that might be the route we go.
        I cannot tell  you how long it will be before I hold you in my arms or even when I will see two lines on a pregnancy test, but I do know that God will see us through. Every trial, Every failed attempt He will be there and He will also be smiling down one day when a doctor hands you to me. I could burst when I think of that moment, the moment I have waited for my entire life. God has a plan and He knows when the right time is and We are trusting Him baby even when its hard. You will be worth it all.

I love you so very much,
Momma

Christmas between a Husband and Wife

          So Christmas is obviously different for Jeremy and I since being in Montana We can't just go out and buy each other everything We want for Christmas. So When the budget allows us to We go ahead and get something We want. So here is what We got for each other for Christmas :)

 I got this at Ross a few months back and I know what your thinking Cute right but what do you do with it? Well you can do whatever you want but here is what im doing with it.

I keep cards and letters in it :) My sweet Mamaw writes me at least once a week sometimes more and We have been here a year and a half !! See all those notebook papers folded up those are all letters from her! I am happy to have a place to keep them.

       Not long after coming to Montana My mom asked me if there was anything I needed. It had been raining ALOT at the time and I confessed that I really wanted a pair of rain boots. A couple weeks later what came in the mail :)

 These are awesome rain boots and perfect for snow  too except they are so cold they just were not warm enough, but now they are because a few months ago I got this awesome Christmas gift!

Boot Liners!!! My feet are staying warm and cozy now!!


Just yesterday I got this Christmas Present from Jeremy. I love it!!!!

 Ok I know what your thinking poor Jeremy has not got anything  and Steph has got a bunch of things ha! Here are Jeremys Christmas presents.

Jeremy was really in need of new shoes.
Before I show you this next picture let me say that Jeremy stood in line for almost 3 hours to get this at a price We could actually afford so dont think We spent full price because We couldnt have even on a good month.

    These are our Christmas presents!!! As you can tell We had a great year. I could never thank our supporters enough for all they do. We have supporters who send money and say use this for fun not on bills and thats how We get each other presents. We firmly believe that when you are sent money you use it how the giver ask you to. Money from Churches is always used on bills and needs not presents. Now with Christmas around the corner instead of being out stressing and trying to figure out what to get each other We are home enjoying our gifts. God has been so good to us and We are so thankful that He lays it on peoples hearts to send us "fun" money.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 
This year God has gone above and beyond this promise and We are so grateful!!!!

God will make a way!

              Last night (12/12/12) at Beyond Borders for Christ the 3 and under class had a special night. Here is the yummy snack they loved and ate

                        They all assured me that the reindeers were very yummy, but they are not what this post is about. This post is about God making a way even if there seems to be no way.

                  Every year Flora Baptist Church in  Flora, MS.  provides the kids with  Christmas presents. This is a HUGE blessing. This year each child will receive a tote bag that says beyond borders on it with all sorts of goodies inside some of which include tooth paste, toothbrushes, a hoodie, socks, and many other useful items. We are so thankful for Flora Baptist Church and their willingness to give.                    

           This year since I dont have very many in my class I decided that I would like to give the kids in my class a gift from me. The problem was Jeremy and I had no money in our budget for this. So I headed up to our craft closet  ( here at the church) where I found these cute tote bags ( dont worry the boys got boy colors :)).

Each child received a bag with their initial on the front and Beyond Borders for Christ 3 and Under Class. I still had to figure out what to put in the bags so I headed to our clothes closet. Last winter We had someone donate tons of knitted caps so each child had one of them in their bag.

          As I kept looking around in the clothes closet it just so happened someone had donated some stuffed animals and toy cars so the girls got two stuffed animals and the boys got a stuffed animal and a toy car.

    I also had some silly band so each child got a animal silly band and a coloring book with crayons. My little guys were super excited and it brought so much joy to me to be able to give them a gift and I am so grateful to the church for the craft closet and the clothes closet because of these two ministries I was able to feel the joy of giving a gift I wouldnt have been able to give any other way. I am thankful for those who donated unused or unwanted items to our clothes closet you were the reason for so many smiles last night. To the person who knitted all the caps you are the reason these little guys will stay a little warmer this winter.  I was surprised at how excited they got over the hats. They all wore them around and left wearing them. One little boys was too small and I told him I was sorry and that I had plenty more and would bring him another one next week. Someone else said try stretching it so we did and it went on his head but barely and it was no where near his ears it just sat on the very top of his head but He left wearing it proudly. It wasnt the greatest gift and they will get a better one next wednesday when they receive there gifts from Flora Ms, but I am thankful that God made a way so that I could give my little guys, that I love so much a Christmas gift.

****Update**** Not sure how I forgot the most important part each child received a New Testament bible. I know they cant read them now, but its something they can keep and know that someone cared enough about them to share the word of God with them even though they couldnt even read yet.

How are you losing weight?

         I have had so many ask How are you losing weight. The answer is embarassing!!! The reason I say this is because I could have and should have been doing this along time ago. So here is exactly what I'm doing.
        Exercise!! Yes I hate that word. I use to avoid it as if it were a bad word, but I have learned its really not. Exercise can be your friend. Since exercising daily not only am I losing weight but I feel amazing!! Although don't get me wrong if you haven't exercised in along time like me ( literally since they made us in wellness in high school) the amazing feeling will take awhile to get to. Don't give up though because it will come. If you feel you don't have time to exercise here is something silly I tried. When you are watching TV everytime a commercial comes on get off the couch and jog or walk in place until your show comes back on. Its simple and you cannot say oh I dont have time to do it. Some of you may wonder why Jeremy is dropping pounds alot faster than me. He is running I am NOT a runner!!! So that and obviously there are many other reasons. He is focused on getting healthy and losing weight. I am focus on the same, but I am borderline diabetic so I am also working hard to get my sugar under control. So exercise is a HUGE part of how i'm losing weight.
       Bye Bye Sodas and :( Sweet tea. Yes your not gonna like this one either and I struggled with it too. I have not had either since August and I can testify that I feel alot better and my color is alot better. I know you don't want to and I didn't want to either, but its possible to lose weight just by doing this. It takes alot of will power. I had so many ask me if I wanted a sweet tea or a coke and when my answer was no they would say "Ugh ones not gonna hurt you". Yes and no. One every now and then is better than all the time, but having that one will get you hooked all over again. Everyones different but I have found for me quitting all together works best. Yes you will have headaches, but don't give in they will pass and after awhile so will the cravings. Don't give up is the main thing!!
             Portion size. No I didnt wanna give this up either, but once I cut down on simply how much I eat I was ashamed at how little I could eat and be full. Why do We insist on being stuffed and miserable when We leave the table?? I have no answer because I once was in the same boat, but I can now say that it doesnt have to be that way. Cut down on those portions!!!
            Thats all how embarassing to find out its that easy, but no joke its that easy. I feel better, look better, and have so much more energy. Here are some pictures of the progress We have made so far. All I can say is wow!!! No wonder We feel better!!

A little secret Just between us.

     Hey Sweetie,
        I'm sorry I haven't wrote to you in awhile Life has been crazy lately, but don't think you haven't been on Mommys mind. I pray for you daily Literally to have you and also for your life once your here. I know God has a plan and I trust Him.
         Some exciting news....It looks as though We will be moving home this summer!!! I cannot tell you the joy and sorrow this brings me. I think about my grandparents and Mom and Dad and I could almost cry I'm so overwhelmed and excited, but then I think about Alayah and all my Wednesday night kids and I feel crushed my heart breaks. We have a good life in Montana We have fallen in love with our friends here and the thought of leaving this life I can't even fathom it. I know  We will keep in touch and come to visit as often as We can. I don't worry so much about our friends, but I worry about my little guys on Wednesday. I want them to have someone who loves them as much as I do. I don't know how I could ever tell them bye. I know I will have to. Just like when I told the only place I had ever called home bye to come here. I would have never thought when Your Daddy and I arrived here a year and a half ago that it would ever be so hard to leave. God has blessed us hugely and I know He will continue to do so.
              I am excited to see what God has in store for us in Tennessee of course I'm only human and a little selfish and I hope you are whats next for us. I cannot even describe to you how badly I want to hold you in my arms. I cannot understand how I love you so much and yet you have not even been created yet. I know that you will bring your daddy and I so much joy.  I also know that waiting for you will make us so much more appreciative and grateful once you arrive. Never forget for one moment baby that you were worth every second I waited and every tear I cried.
                 I just wanted to fill you in on our little secret. No one here ( in Montana) knows yet. I know I will cry buckets full when We tell them. I promise We will bring you back someday to meet all of our friends here. Not sure why but I always thought you would be born here. I guess I just hoped. I know its crazy, but I use to worry about my parents and your daddys parents getting here on time. If you came early or having to go back home to work and you coming to late where they have to leave before you get here. Now I feel extra silly for worrying since you wont even be born here. You will learn quickly that your Momma is a worrier and about the most craziest things. I will try my best not to be a overly paranoid Mommy. I just wanna make sure I do my very best to keep you safe from all the dangers of this crazy World. I love you so so much sweetie.



Love,
Momma
   

Hey Steph, Do You Remember???

                 God has really been showing me lately how truly blessed I am. Lately I have been looking at things around me and remembering how not so long ago the situation was very different. Nothing is better than being able to stand back and watch growth in a ministry your a part of. Its like God has being saying Hey Steph, do You Remember??? And then all these memories flood into my mind. I decided I had to blog because I never wanna forget where God has brought me from.
                  First off let me say That God answers prayers although not usually how we think He should. Its amazing to think back to a time you prayed about something so desperately and then later look back at how God answered that prayer, but you didnt even realized because you were too busy wanting things your way. Always remember We see the here and now, But God see the whole picture after all He holds our future in His hands.
                This weekend We had a Ladies Retreat. It was awesome ( as always). Our bible study topic was Marriage/Husbands. The book We used is "The Power of a Praying Wife".  We had so much good discussion because We each have a different story to tell and God brought back so many memories that I hadnt thought about in awhile.
              Jeremy and I were married in April I had just turned 19 in February.  Do not take this wrong I was So completely in love with Jeremy and still am. However I was a baby. I had a VERY hard time adjusting to married life. It did not help that after We got married Jeremy stopped having any interest in church. I was lost and confused and sunk into a depression. Somedays all I wanted was to disappear. My dreams of what I thought marriage would be were not how it really was. As I clung to God and drew closer to Him it was as if Jeremy went further way. I was praying constantly Some days my prayers were just sobs because I couldnt even find words. My point is prayer works!!!!!!!!! Now 4 years later We are missionaries in Hungry Horse, Montana. I am not bragging I am just amazed at God and His awesomeness!!  
              Here is another amazing Story I was reminded of and shared at Ladies Retreat. When Jeremy and I felt God calling us to Montana We had some credit card debt. We knew We were suppose to go, but there was no way We could afford to. We prayed and prayed, but it was just impossible nothing was happening. We thought ok we will just wait till we get it paid off, but God would not stop He kept telling us to go. So After more and more prayer We knew what We had to do. We HAD to GO. So Before We left We had a going away party. Friends and Family came and when the night was over We gathered up all the cards everyone had left us and began counting the money that was in them. We were astonished! To the cent the exact amount of our credit card debt. Now if We hadnt stepped out to go We would have never had the party. God wanted us to trust him as our provider. Its easy to say you trust God but actually doing it is very hard.
               I cannot even explain how much God has changed me since being here in Montana. I finally feel like I am getting closer to the women He has always wanted me to be. Yes, I sin daily that will never change because i'm only human, but I try my best to live for God and do what He has called me to do. He has changed me drastically just in the year and a half I have been in Montana. I have heard it preached all my life that We are the body and We all have a gift and a purpose, but I never knew mine. Although I still dont completely I know I have a job to do even if its just assisting someone else with their ministry. I am amazed at the growth in me as a wife, friend, and christian. I am not bragging Im praising God for yet another blessing.
            Everyone who knows me knows I cannot wait to be a mother. I cannot even fathom the love you feel when a doctor hands you your baby for the first time, or the feeling you get when your called Momma for the first time. This has been a major struggle for me. I cannot even begin to explain to you the emotions I have felt when God didnt just poof let me get pregnant. I will admit I stayed mad at him for along time because of this. I prayed and when I couldnt pray I sobbed. I begged for a baby. Finally one day I realized God had more for me to do before I became a mother. When We started feeling the call to Montana I begin to understand a little better why We werent packing up a baby to go with us. The truth is God had saved me and my family a ton of heartache. Can you imagine how mine and Jeremys parents would have felt seeing there grandbaby move over 2000 miles away from them. Dont get me wrong I mean no disrespect for those who live far away from their families. In fact I think your amazing and incredibly strong. I am thankful though and understand why God didnt allow us to have a family yet. Dont get me wrong I still wanna be a mother more than anything and can not wait for the day I look into my childs eyes, But I can say God is a on time God and really mean it now. Also my prayers are different although I still pray that someday Jeremy and I will have a baby of our own I pray that God have His will in our lives and that in His time We have the family He wants to give us. I had a friend tell me (when I was depressed and stressed and all kinds of other emotions because I wanted a baby) instead of being sad spend your time pouring your love into the children God has placed around you, and You would not believe how those words have changed my life. I never knew I could love children that arent mine the way I love these lil guys.
           Which brings me to something else that God is allowing me to do that has completely changed my life. Beyond Borders for Christ was doing great and really growing. We had a meeting with all those who help and it was brought up that another class was really needed. The need was for a younger class  The youngest class We had was pre K-1st grade. A younger class was not provided for several reasons one is some might bring little bitty kids and next thing you know were a daycare and another reason was they barely had enough help for the classes they had. The thing was two of the workers at Beyond Borders for Christ had young children who werent old enough for the youngest class. I knew immediately God was whispering This is for you Steph. So next the thing I knew I had my own class for 3 and under. I started out with the two workers children who are both 3. It was great. Since they were both girls after our lesson We would make necklaces and all kinds of girly stuff. Then boom one wednesday Here sit a little boy in my class ( he is 3 also). I had to improvise that night on my craft. I was excited to see it grow, but God didnt stop there I have had up to 6 kiddos in my class ( the average is normally 4) and whats even crazier is everyone of them are 3 years old!! I think its a huge blessing that they are all the same age. My nights with them were hectic and alot of them even frustrating. I will admit I have came home and just sat down and had a good cry before. I knew I needed a helper, but the ones willing already were in other classes. Well Praise the Lord the last few weeks I have had 2 helpers!! Each of them said How in the world did you do this alone?! My answer is im not sure really haha. I can see all sorts of growth in each child since We started this class. Here is a cool example .... One little boy in my class Todd  Started out in Joys class with his brother Heath. He was wild and Joy asked if He could come in my room ( not long after We discovered He was only 3 so he belonged in my room anyway) of course I said yes. I would literally have to pick Todd up and carry him out of Joys room as He screamed and cried for his brother. Once We got to our room He would cry some more and through out the night He would calm down and then the least little thing and He would be crying for his brother and to go to the other class. I pressed onward and just loved Todd through it all. Months have went by since all this and a few weeks ago We went into Joys room with her class and had a puppet show ( More about that ministry in a minute) After a while Todd came up to me and said Miss Stephanie Can We go to our room now?? You can imagine the big smile on my face when I told him we were going in just a few minutes. Another night only one little girl Chloe came. Sometimes when numbers are low We get to feeling sorry for ourselves and I started to just let her play, but God said Teach the lesson you had planned. So I did. I worked and worked that night with Chloe on a memory verse. God will always love me. Cant remember where it was in the bible except in Psalms. Months went by and one day Chloes grandma came in my room and said last sunday in sunday school at church Chloe was asked to say her memory verse from last week guess what she said. I said I dont know what? I almost cried when she said God will always Love me! She said just thought you might need to hear that. You are getting through to them even when it may not feel like it. Im so glad I went ahead and taught the lesson that night. I have seen so much growth in my class and although they are just babies I know im planting seeds and I hope I am around someday to see them blossom.
               A few months ago God said start a puppet ministry. My responds was huh? You want me to do what? How? When? I am already overwhelmed with all im doing now, but God kept telling me and giving me vision to start a puppet ministry. So I did. You can read how it got started and everything here and you can actually watch a video of them here. The growth I already see in this ministry is unreal. I have a awesome team doing the puppets every week and am so grateful for each of them. I couldnt understand at first why God wanted me to add more to my already overflowing plate, but I am beginning to understand. As I continue to pray for guidance and direction I sense that its not completely mine. I honestly feel that God had me start this ministry because I had the connection to Athens, Tn which is where the church is that donated the puppets. My role in it now is to find someone to take it over. Read more about that here. I have no doubt that God already has someone in mind and could possible already be calling them to this ministry. Isn't God amazing the way He works thing out. Like I already said He has the whole picture! A few weeks ago during the puppets the kids were giggling and so excited and it was like God whispered Hey Steph, Remember when this was just a idea? when you were saying no I already have too much to do?  Man God knows how to get to us. I am so glad God got through to me and I listened to Him because the puppet ministry is already a HUGE success and blessing.
         Wow so this has turned into a long post! God has just had all this on my mind lately. I think He really wants me to look around and see the growth and good in all the ministries I am lucky to be apart of. Its wonderful to see how far they have come. Of course I have tons more stories and I know there will be tons more stories to come. Our God is so amazing I am glad  He can see the whole picture and that I can trust Him.




***** The names of the kids have been changed Just a precaution*****

Three words.....I Need Help!!

     So my poor blog has been a little neglected. I have been so busy. Normally all that gets us through summers here is knowing winters around the corner. Summers are flat out INSANE!!! Between Wow Week, Sports Camp, and Summer food program. Thats not even mentioning mission teams coming out for the summer and all this is on top of all our other ministries that go on every week. ( By The Way definitely not complaining We are thankful for all these ministries and the people who come help put them on) So We look forward to winter because the tourist leave and We can breathe again and focus on our weekly ministries. So winter is here but I feel like We are still going 90 miles an hour and I am gasping to catch my breath.
   I was so excited to tell everyone about the puppets that We received and I am beyond proud of them and those who stepped up to use them. This is the very first Ministry that God gave me vision for and watching it come to life is more than amazing. I would do absolutely anything to keep it going and cannot wait to watch all the growth that I know its gonna do in the future, however I am not too proud to admit that Im overwhelmed. If I could focus solely on this ministry then piece of cake. Stand back and watch it grow, but thats not the case.
    I was blessed hugely this year when I started my very own class on Wednesday nights at Beyond Borders for Christ. 3 and Under is my class and I am so excited to announce that We have 5 three year olds attending regularly. I LOVE my class. Each child is so special.  They are a true blessing to me. So that plus the puppets is stretching me thin, but thats not all.
      I also help prepare the meal for Wednesdays. Again not complaining I love feeding hungry Kiddos. The meals are not hard, but even the simplest meal takes time to prepare. Of course this starts way before 6 and then after everythings over We are normally cleaning up till late. To say I am tired by the end of the night is a understatement, But wait I havent even mentioned Tuesdays.
     Every 2nd and 4th tuesday of the month I help in the clothes closet. We are open to anyone needing clothing from 8:30am-11:30am. We are always taking donations and   have been blessed with so many lately we are struggling to find places to put everything. Also Every tuesday We help cook for bible study.  This is all leading up to wednesdays.
   By the time I get to wednesdays I wake up tired and since  starting the puppet ministry I am overwhelmed and exhausted. I know I did what God wanted me to. He wanted me to start a puppet ministry He gave me clear vision about that. What im struggling with now is Where do I go from here? We have puppets and We have a puppet team willing to be the puppets weekly but im stuck. I have a hard time planning something for puppets weekly and my class and each week I find one or the other is put ahead of the other and the other suffers.
     What does all this mean besides I am a big whiner. The thing  is I need help. I am praying and would like you to pray too that someone would take one or the other. A puppet leader or a Teacher for the 3 and Under Class. I cannot continue to stand by and watch them suffer because my plate is running over. I know God has a plan and will work everything out I have no doubt in that. Please continue to pray for both these ministries and that help is on the way! :)